And what's YOUR daily drama?

Before going into a memory care unit almost 9 months ago, my mother (Mother) lived with my sister (Daughter #2) and her husband (SIL). I am Daughter #1 and we have a much younger sister who is Daughter #3.
 
The following is a small sample of a GOOD day:

6 00 am Daughter #2 and SIL wake, shower, get dressed for the day.
6 30 am Daughter #2 takes thyroid med to Mother, chats for 10 minutes, goes to work.
6 30 am SIL unpacks dishwasher while coffee beans grinding, makes his one coffee for the day, chills out on back deck listening to morning song of bird life.
6 40 am Mother toddles into the kitchen, cannot find the cat’s cooked chicken breast where she left it last night, then goes to laundry, sorts clothes, starts washing machine.
6 45 am SIL investigates, finds Mother has put wet incontinence pad (in a plastic bag fortunately) into the fridge – again. Must have done that during the night. SIL disposes of pad, wipes out fridge, finds cats food, feeds hungry cat.
7 00am Mother, now dressed, shuffles into kitchen, feet hurting, shoes on wrong feet. Sit down, SIL corrects problem. Wants to feed cat, it is hungry. SIL says already fed cat, no you have not, she is hungry, I can tell. SIL finds more cooked chicken breast, Mother takes to spoilt cat, cat will not eat. Mother in panic, must go to vet NOW, cat won’t eat, very, very sick. Vet not open, will ring later.
7 15am Mother cleans cat’s tray, not satisfied with consistency of cat’s poo, emergency, must go to the vet. Vet not open, will ring very soon.
7 30am Mother arrives at breakfast for her ritual cereal nuts and dried fruit. Does not want that ‘muck’, trying to poison her, SIL should know she never eats that sort of stuff.
7 45 am Mother won’t take meds, chemist has given her the wrong ones. Someone is trying to poison her. SIL promises to take her for a drive if she eats her breakfast and takes her meds. Eventually complies, then disappears.
8 00 am SIL empties washing machine, Mother has put today’s overnight wet pad in the washing machine and thrown her panties in the rubbish bin - again. SIL dons gloves, cleans up mess, does a sanitising rinse, then sets the machine to wash again.
8 30am Mother comes out re-dressed for her drive. Difficult walking, removed her shoes to get dressed, on wrong feet again, SIL fixes problem - again.
8 45 am Mother cannot understand her diary entry, 2 medical appointments no one told her about. Rings Daughter #1, wants an explanation of diary entry, says SIL refusing to take her to medical appointments. Like I can see her diary from more than 200 miles away! Discover she is looking at a diary more than 5 years old. (Mother never throws anything away).
9 am Mother does not believe Daughter #1 so phones Daughter #3 who is already at work answering busy switch board at police station. Daughter #3 soon discovers same issue with diary, cannot convince Mother, disconnects the call.
9 10 am Mother wants a cup of tea before she goes for her drive so that she can sort out her diary and cancel her two medical appointments. She can jolly well look after herself, she does not need anyone to look after her, she will make her own tea thank you. Offers to make one for SIL. Okay, now, how do I make a cup of tea?

All I can say is I have the most patient brother-in-law in the whole wide world.

Yes laughs are what we all need. Not laughs at the person we are caring for but later in private, about the situation at that time, or remembering it years later. So many events to laugh about that was encountered with my little Mom. A retired OB nurse, in her 90s with Alzheimers, after my caregiving in her condo it was best that she was moved into memory care home. She thought she was a nurse at the home and they let her think that because it seemed to keep her calmer. Ha! One day the "real nurse" informed me, she fired him twice in that shift. I laughed and said that's what he got for letting her think she worked there and be glad she wasn't the head nurse!

Another day I was informed my little mother had organized other residents to help throw the very large round dining table out the floor to ceiling wall to wall window to the courtyard, so they could escape!! Mind you, on each side of this huge window to the lovely courtyard were unlocked doors to the fenced in courtyard, so the residents could come and go there at anytime. But they were going to escape. I called my sister, who was out of state and informed her she might hear of a mutiny at a Alzheimer care home in FL on the evening news. She said, "Let me guess, Mom was the organizer?"

Or when we moved her into the home, we were told it was fine to hang pictures on the walls of her room so she would feel more at home. Do that we did. We had her room looking so nice. Including a needle work picture she had made, hanging over her bed and pictures of family hanging on other walls. Only to find she had riped down every one of them. I forgot to mention, my little mother was only 4'9", so I knew she had to stand on the bed to get the needlepoint down.

At another stage, walking with her walker, she would walk down the hall calling out to employees and others, "Look out girls, coming through". Or would say, "Passing water and gasoline". The employees asked me where all this came from. I told them, being a nurse back in her day, nurses passed water to their patients. But they wondered were the passing gasoline came in. After much thought, I said, "She most likely was passing gas as she went along on her duties and gasoline came to mind".

Laughs that helped soften the oh so tough times. Mom passed 12 years ago at age 94 and the training I had then is now helping me as my husband's caregiver. We must never forget, if their brain was working right, all the things they do, or say would not happen and they would not want it to happen. One of the things that is hard, is to remember they are adults that act as a child, many times but they can not help it. We can not expect them to remember or to learn. We have to know that we give them the very best care that we can and do it out of love. Blessings to each and every one of you.

Got mom up early in the morning to get mom ready for her doctors appointment. We were getting a very good head start this am, and then construction, backed up traffic for miles. Caregivers getting quite stressed because doctor is always on time, and does not like lateness. Rushed like mad thought I would get a ticket, but didn't. Ran down the hall with my mother in her W/C to the office out of breath, and when we arrived receptionist stated I was 3 minutes late. Well as she was bringing us into the room, and she was in front of us, I almost ran her over. She jumped aside and gave me a dirty look. I told her we were never late for the last twenty years. Boy was I irritated. I told the doctor about it , and he wanted to know where the exact construction was located. Not too long after the visit we got a letter in the mail notifying all patients to leave earlier because of construction.

Just 3 minutes late? Earlybird, how dare you be treated that way! That is so disrespectful to you and your wheelchair-bound mother. Not that it should make any difference. They might have been having a good day but they need to appreciate the difficulties that carers, in particular, operate with.
In Australia we no longer treat our medical professionals as gods. Respect yes, reverence, NO! Given that we often have to wait up to an hour for our very popular GP, and despite our booked appointment, I would have given a 'now you know how it feels, doc' if he complained. In your circumstances, the receptionist would have been given a very disrespectful suggestion that she get back in her box.
It helps to be aged, it helps to be well-known, it helps to have a reciprocated wit and sense of humour, but one can still make it be known someone has pushed one too many buttons when we are having a bad day.

Note to early bird, I would wonder how he might treat a patient, especially one in a wheel chair, or just an able bodied senior, that moves, walks or talks slowly, or has a smelly mess, when a family member is not around. No excuse for anyone to be treated badly. I would never leave anyone alone with him. Just my thoughts.

My once sweet mama has Sundowners, Sunrisers, Nooners and every damn hour otherwise now. She's afraid of the elevated toilet seat, often not pulling her pants and/or depends down but has no problem pulling them down in kitchen while sibs are here or to attempt to urinate on a kitchen chair, the antique & small lidded aluminum waste can in the bath. And or course she's resistant & physically combative to any help during her self inflicted dilemmas.

When you lose your objectivity and sense of humor is when you are going to need a care giver. Dementia care is as absurd as it is exhausting. People who haven’t been through it personally have no blinking idea.