So... I must need a lesson in saying "NO", because I am completely exhausted! After becoming a rather instant caregiver a little over a week ago, I just want to spend some time... ALONE.
First, my original plans for the holidays were to get as far away from my family as possible...go on a ski trip and sip wine in front of a fireplace on Christmas Day. Instead, I felt a bit obligated to try to get my family together for a family gathering in the event that Dad's nearing the end.
I have had very little sleep (last night's trip to the ER and taking Dad to work with me today didn't help), and between running around at the last minute trying to plan a Christmas I don't even WANT to attend has gotten the best of me.
None of my siblings will help (it doesn't help that Dad treats them like crap too), and though my BF has been wonderful, I fear that between the added responsibility and daily meltdowns, he's going to leave...
I just feel ... alone. I didn't ask for this and as horrible as it sounds, I RESENT this...
HELP!!!
Due to his diminished lung capacity, he has some mobility issues and his memory is starting to go. I think he may have some dimentia.
Yes... a week in and I am completely miserable. BF and I were trapped in the house for New Year's... upstairs with dad because he didn't want to be alone....
My Christmas plans with my aging parents had to be postponed to this coming Sunday because last week I was in the ER/hospital for my own health issues. And instead of me cooking a meal, which was my original plan, I am now ordering carry-out from Olive Garden.... let them do the cooking... I've done this before with the carry-out and it works great :)
What are your dad's impairments? Has he been evaluated by a geriatric psychiatrist for depression , anxiety, mental illness? As Pam says, meds can ameliorate sometimes. Let us know how it goes.
Welcome to the group. Caregiving can be exhausting and we can accidentally lose ourselves in it. Since Christmas is pretty well tied up already, maybe you can plan a getaway with your boyfriend for New Year's. If your father is frail, maybe another family member can keep check on your dad so you won't have to worry.
as close as i came to being jovial was sending my 25 yr old an email telling him to eat a d*ckMAS . an improvement over holiday seasons of the past .