Ever just want to tear your hair out, or someone else's? If you cannot restore a sense of balance, you will run away from home? Just want to say some things without the constraints of staying on topic? Well, this thread is for you! If you just need a short break to let it all hang out, be a brat, then come on, you can do it. No holding back! Go for it, you can do it.
And I’m talking about the person who deleted their account in a huff after saying someone admitted to trolling, and then came back and posted under another ID. That right there is trolling.
I was delighted beyond measure, back in the 1980s, to see from a noticeboard outside our local church that the minister in charge was The Reverend Gordon Bennett. I still have the photo I took.
I do love the whole theme of names and naming. I love the story that Samuel Longhorn Clemens picked "Mark Twain" as his pen name having so often heard it called out on the Mississippi. I can just picture his ears pricking up as the river pilots hallooed "Mark Twain!" out across the water, and him wondering to himself who Mark Twain was and whether he ever answered them. [I have been told this story is mere picturesque myth, but I refuse to believe so. It is *exactly* the kind of thing that would have appealed to him.]
As for cliques - some of us have been here for a long time, we know each others back stories and have followed along through each others caregiving journeys. I think that it's natural and normal that some people resonate with us more than others and I think it's kind of cool that I "know" so many people from such diverse places and walks of life.
I have been on this site nearly 8 years and have seen very unkind behaviors from many that are still here. I am probably guilty of the same at times. We all go through tough times and it does no good to kick someone while they are down.
Just remember, people, if you cannot say something helpful, in a nice way, don't say anything at all. Leave the condescending, know-it-all attitudes on your side of the monitor. They don't help anyone. Ganging up on someone will not do anyone any good, just makes others feel bad. Do not criticize others because they have different experiences than you do. Opinions will differ. That is what life is about. Offer assistance without putting others down.
I have received some very nasty messages lately. I don't understand what happens to some people.
Remember watch the tone of your writing, the words you use, and always avoid knee jerk reactions. We are all here to help others. Think before you post comment. If you are thinking too long then shut off the computer and walk away.
I appreciate all of your kind words, stories and just being a part of the community here. I learn stuff from everyone here and hope I can pass on some of what I have learned too.
That particular thread has since been removed.
I'll spare you the details cause that would require dredging the whole thing up again.
Hope you are not lost now.😁
Point duly noted but there are patterns and exceptions. It’s not a pattern with you. Anyone can see that it has never been a pattern for you. You were an example to me.
Sure, I have said things as well. You are wise to step away. I have tried very hard to step away too.
Oh my word, the debates I had with my brothers were completely futile. I wish I had stepped away. Could have saved myself years of heartache. Actually, in reality I was fueling their fire.
I don't think of myself as some kind of glowing example at all.
I think if we all factor in that as someone else said earlier, people are in the midst of great stress sometimes when they post on here. I try to step away from my computer at those particular times so I don't end up saying something I'll regret. Not to say that people who are stressed shouldn't post but maybe let it simmer a bit before you press send.
Otherwise we are all just fallible human beings who make mistakes sometimes but hopefully learn from them. I certainly have misspoke on here in the past and most likely will again.
As I mentioned before, I feel Barb is intelligent, extremely knowledgeable in so many areas and was very helpful to me in my dilemma as many of you were.
I was caught off guard by Tacy’s departure and some remarks that were made. Tacy did reach out to me in the past so I wanted to express appreciation.
I think that when people are deeply hurt and I do believe that she had been hurt and that some people when hurt become cynical and jaded, even confused. I have been there at times myself but I have not intentionally or deliberately wanted to hurt others. Tacy went through a lot of personal pain in her life like a lot of us.
We process things in our own way as best as we are able to at that time. Not making excuses for her. Just stating what I feel that she may have been experiencing. Perhaps she isn’t able to see things clearly and she is fiercely independent and marches to her own beat which can be both good and bad.
While all of us are entitled to our own opinions. Some opinions can be brutally honest and quite frankly not even sensible and confusing to the forum. As I said in an earlier post, I did follow the entire conversation so I was a bit lost. I could not follow the point that Tacy was even trying to make, so I wasn’t even sure how to respond but I clearly picked up on the awkward, disturbing and uncomfortable vibe of it all.
Tacy has very strong opinions and at times could have had more compassion. People through circumstances either become blind or choose to be closed off to others and their views.
So Gershun, I admire you and I so wanted to follow your fine example of being true to yourself instead of remaining neutral as I did. I want to apologize for being neutral.
Because if anyone deserves to be stood up for, it’s Barb. She stood up for me before when I was most fragile, frozen actually and lit a fire under my butt.
It’s great to be thought provoking and present another view but Barb did that with kindness, understanding of what I was able to process, patience and compassion. I believe that is showing the utmost grace. I am thankful so I am apologizing not just to Barb but to everyone for being stuck in neutral.
I did not want to be aggressive with Tacy. I have made the mistake of being aggressive before if I have been frustrated and I am not proud of those moments. There are times to remain silent and times to speak up. When we do speak up I feel we should do it with class like Gershun did. I goofed by remaining silent. Forgive me, Barb.
I feel to receive respect we have to give respect and I think we all know who deserves respect because she gave the most respect, Barb, of course!
I sincerely try to place myself in others shoes and learn. We never stop learning. The best way to learn is to observe and listen but we also have to realize that sometimes there is a need for a filter to sift through and discard what is harmful and offensive. We should also use a filter when speaking to others. It’s common courtesy to do so.
My kids did observe everything. Little sponges, but very independent. I never wanted to kill their creativity and I wanted to foster independence but they kept me on my toes. Wouldn’t trade it for the world though.
My daughter has her heart set on moving to Denver, Colorado. I don’t blame her for wanting to move for more opportunities. I didn’t try to persuade my oldest daughter when she moved away for an opportunity either. She ended up moving back to Louisiana.
I missed her and couldn’t visit because of being tied down to mom. She came here to visit when she could and we spoke frequently on the phone.
Thank God my younger daughter’s driving improved. She felt horrible about the accident and actually had anxiety about driving later on. She learned her lesson the hard way. She followed our rules and was very careful afterwards. I will definitely be praying for her driving in the mountains!
To answer your question about the lawsuit. My husband went directly to the scene of the accident hoping to be with our daughter. He just missed her. The ambulance had just driven off. He met the other driver and he claimed that he wasn’t hurt. He exchanged cell numbers with my husband.
Whiplash can happen later but he called for several weeks afterwards to check on my daughter and my husband thanked him for showing concern and always asked how he was doing and apologized for the accident to him. He was very kind about it all and continued to say that he wasn’t seriously hurt.
Apparently, there are lots on accidents at this particular intersection. That’s what the police officer who made the accident report told my husband.
The other driver had a time frame in which he could sue. He waited until the very last day of the time frame and bam, the lawsuit happened!
We have good insurance, Liberty Mutual. My car was totaled, his could be repaired.
Our insurance agent said they offered to cover the entire estimated costs for car repairs and medical costs. He refused the original offer and decided to aim for a higher settlement. He didn’t tip his hand to us. He showed no indication of any kind of his desire to sue us.
He did collect from our insurance company but our agent did not tell us how much was paid to him. They had to settle the claim. My daughter was at fault.
I personally know a few personal injury attorneys who are filthy rich. They are the ones who make the big bucks! They live in very nice homes and drive very expensive cars.
Love you lots 💗! I did the low profile thing when the insane private messages got nasty for a lot of us. I’m talking crazy, out of the box vulgar stuff. That was nuts.
Some of us might not have enough 'better judgment' at times. That's me.
So I clicked 'delete my account' out of frustration, and it was not easy getting back. But the admins helped me.
It took over 4+ years to make a few good friends on here. That does not make a clique, imo. But I know them, and trust them.
Say hello now and then. We are going to work on loving and accepting others more, from your example.
Hard to say goodbye, for now. Go in Peace, even if it turns out to be only a vacation.
Love from Sendhelp.
As I tried to explain to her what people think of me good or bad on here is out of my control anyways. So what does it matter. I heard it said once "What people think of us is none of our business" LOL
I hope you don't decide to remove yourself from this forum Barb. You are one of the good ones.
There isn’t a clique. Not that I am an expert on anything. But I don’t feel this forum is cliquish. Is that a word? Hahaha
Just to set the record straight, I don't feel like I am part of any clique on this forum or that people have mistreated me as this person stated as if it was fact. Her opinion, not mine. I told her as such too. Anyway she is apparently gone now. I don't need to say her name. Those of you who saw that thread know who I am referring to.
Do you know why your daughter & I are the way we are? Because we were raised by strong women who set the right example for. I bet your daughter spent a lot of time just watching & observing you. That’s how I was (and still am). I love
to listen & watch. I learned to cook simply because my mom cooked all our meals and hosted holidays. I just watched and learned.
It sounds like your drivers ed instructor was a stress eater and can’t say I blame him! I did take drivers ed in high school. It was in a classroom, book work only but they did offer behind the wheel instruction for $125. I didn’t do the behind the wheel stuff. My dad is the one who taught me to drive.
I am glad your daughter wasn’t seriously hurt! As a mom I totally understand not being mad about the car! When something like this happens, you are just so thankful it wasn’t worse & your child is ok! Did your insurance handle the lawsuit?
Apparently they have stopped teaching drivers ed in high school here. We did have a drivers training school for a very long time, the founder died in early 2000s and his second wife took over the business. I did their payroll when I worked in accounting. I believe it is closed now. I used to see cars with the name of the school on the door and “student driver” on the back window all over town but it’s been a few years since I have seen one. I don’t know what the process for getting a license is anymore. You have to have some Sort of official instruction before you can even take the test to get a learners permit. Taking drivers Ed in HS used to satisfy the requirement but like I said, they no longer offer that class.
I was just reading the local news for my parents area and there was a fatal crash in the big city nearby! A motorcycle going 120MPH collided with a small SUV. Somehow the SUV ended up on its roof on top of the motorcycle and the motorcycle went through the roof! The news, shame on them, posted an up load picture and I just can’t fathom how this happened! The motorcycle is basically inside the SUV! No word on the condition of the SUV driver but the motorcyclist did not survive. I have never seen anything like it!
Okay, it is settled. I am asking St. Christopher, patron saint of travelers to watch over you, also your guardian angel! 😊 When you step into that beautiful SUV. I want you to be protected. I am old enough to be your mom so please allow me to pray for you like I pray for my kids.
There are crazy drivers. Did you take drivers education? Hahaha 😂 My driver’s education teacher was nuts! He was so huge, actually obese. I suppose he was stress eating from the stress of teaching teenagers to drive.
He met me at my school at the end of the day. His lesson was, “Drive to the donut shop. I need donuts.” The next day, “Drive to the convenience store. I need chips and a coke.” The next day, “Drive to Burger King. I need a hamburger!” That’s all I did. I drove him around to eat! He did say, “Drive defensively! There are crazy drivers on the road.”
The first time he put the brakes on me from his side of the car I freaked out and told him that his car was broken and wouldn’t go.
Poor man...no wonder all he did was eat! I would never be able to teach people to drive. My husband is a great driving teacher. He taught me to drive a standard, stick shift, our first car, a VW Bug.
My husband is so patient and taught our girls to drive. I was not good at teaching them to drive. Seriously, I had to close my eyes while they were learning.
My daughter’s driver’s education teacher told me they were doing great! (They lie to parents! 😂) Then he told me they had to practice for a certain amount of hours with their permit.
Well, the oldest daughter was fine. The younger one, geeeez. When she got her license I preached to my girls, “No friends in the car until you have more experience.” Did she listen? Absolutely not!
She had three friends in my car. She took her friends to get smoothies. They were drinking smoothies and eating in my car which I instructed her not to do. Teenagers!
Sure enough, I get a call from my husband saying that she had an accident, a bad accident! I called my friend crying. I couldn’t think straight.
I told her I was going to the hospital. My friend calls my oldest daughter who was living several states away at the time with her job. Smart friend! My oldest daughter calls and tells me to stay put and let my friend drive me to the hospital. My friend was at my house in two minutes to drive me. My friend is a nurse and was trying to calm me down. I prayed the whole way there. We got behind a Big Mac truck that was broken down. Cops had the street blocked off. I was losing it.
My friend rolled down her window and motioned for a cop to talk to her. She explained what was going on and the cop cleared traffic and allowed us to go through. He was the nicest cop and said he would pray for my daughter. I will never forget how kind he was. We got to the hospital before my husband did. I saw my child covered in blood.
The first thing she said to me was, “Mom, I am sorry about the car.” I told her, “I don’t give a damn about the car. I just want you to be okay.” Was a long night in the hospital. She still suffers with back and neck injuries. She had a concussion, stitches on her face. My poor baby.
That was the first time I saw her belly button piercing. She is lying in the hospital bed in pain and says, “I was going to tell you about it one day!” Again, I tell her, “I only care about you!” This is my straight A student! 😂 But she was headstrong! Kind of like you, Cali! You remind me of her. Your strength and determination of doing it ‘your way.’
Those are qualities that take you far in life but drive a parent nuts while growing up! Guess what she tells me now as she is about to graduate college, “Mom, I get my sass from you!” I love her to pieces but that kid took years off of my life and turned my hair silver!
Yeah, she totaled the car. We got sued from the other driver. He wasn’t hurt. He went the personal injury attorney route!
Same thing happened on the same street yesterday except it was 2 old ladies that pulled out of the parking lot of a doctors office and as the car pulled out, the driver was looking to her right and she nearly t-boned me because she never looked to her left. She did not need to look to the right because she wasn’t crossing traffic or anything. Only traffic she needed to look for was coming from the left, the direction she did not look.
I am guilty of the same bad driving though. Failure to look to my right is exactly how I totaled my car in October. But I can honestly say I have learned my lesson! And I am thankful the other driver did not end up in a neck brace :-)
Seems like it would be a waste of time to me and immature or a mental issue. Is it to seek revenge on posts that someone doesn’t like?
I saw Cali post that IP addresses can be tracked so why would a person use different identities or repeatedly make derogatory comments. Anyone can say something inappropriate at times but if it becomes habitual then it’s an issue for the sincere posters. Barb was sincere.
Sorry, I am not up on this stuff. I don’t have Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, etc. I know the names because my kids have them. I see others talk about it.
I never had a desire to have any of the social media platforms. I feel they serve a purpose. I am old fashioned I guess. I call my friends on the phone and meet them for coffee, lunch, etc.