My name is Debbie, my parents have a 24/7 caregiver! My Mom is 91, blind, 80% deaf, has Stage 2 colin cancer and hard headed. My dad has sever dimentia, Parkinson's and that is the main reason they have 24/7 care. There are so many problems. First, my Mom doesn't like the caregiver, she is from Ghana and she can't understand her. She takes (the caregiver) care of my Dad's toileting, bathing, puts him to bed, gets him up and dressed, etc., I feed him his lunch and sometimes breakfast. I go there every day and bring their food, make their food, take them to dr. appts., do housework, pay bills and take care of their finances, etc. I'm there about 3 hours a day. My Mom has nothing much good to say to me, my Dad is pitiful, has to wear diapers, be fed, his hands don't work. My mom argues with him, if he says something that is absolutely not true. Makes him mad. The girl there can't cook! I have to put their dinner on plates and give specific instructions on what to heat, and what not. She once microwaved an egg salad sandwich!!! She's been spoken to more than once about scrubbing my dad to hard, his skin is thin. My mom has me read her bank statement every day because she can't remember and is sure they'll be living under a bridge in a year. I'm not getting any help at all from my brother!! Okay, I've bitched enough, any suggestions?
I hope everyone had as good a day as they can. I am glad that I don't have to mess with my mom's finances. I only pay her rent from her social security check. She sold everything a long time ago. It has been a rough week. I am so glad that I found this website because it is nice to talk to other people in the same situations. We can vent together and get and give suggestions. Have a good weekend. Robin
None of us want to place our parents in a nursing home. But when it gets too hard, and you have your own family to deal with, sometimes it's best. I am blessed on one hand that my brother and his wife live with my mother, but on the other hand I am not blessed because I have to block all of her money and her accounts. Otherwise, he'll just go through her money. With that, I am the villan in the family.
In all of my dealings with this, me and my husband decided to get Long Term Care insurance because I don't want to put my kids through what we're having to deal with with my parent.
I hope that you two have a wonderful, stress free day.
Margaret
You have EVERY right to be angry and frustrated, because they just don't get it. The one's that take care of them are the one's that they hate, and the one's that rip them off and don't care about them are the one's that they love.
I am a full time caregiver to my Mother age 82 and Father 84. My father has stage 5 altzheimer's. My Mother suffers from back pain and manages the pain with pain meds, pain patches and PT. My brother handles their finances for them. My younger sister does nothing and sees them when she feels like it. I do hire in a caregiver once a week to relieve me. She does not bathed my dad though. I do that. I suggest you get a better caregiver who can speak and understand English. Who is willing and able to help with meals. Sounds like you need more help. Can they afford it? Someone to do the housecleaning...maybe help take them to appointments. How do you feel about nursing home especially for your father who has dementia. Is he bad enough yet? I mean if you aren't okay you will burn out and noone will be able to look after their welfare or take care of them. Good luck there are no easy answers. I wish you all the best as I do even for myself.