Hey folks, welcome to the new whine/general topic thread. Feel free to use this thread to discuss anything that is on your mind. Caregiving- related stuff, life after a loved one's death, your own emotional wellbeing. Whatever..........anything on your mind.
When I went "home" recently to attend a high school friend's funeral and I knew I would see people from high school that I haven't seen in a long time and I somehow feel judged by (probably mostly just my paranoid imagination... lol... plus also a funeral which is sad and I didn't want to cry), I stopped to get the smallest bottle of cinnamon whiskey. It was half pint size, I think. I thought it didn't look too big but I was drunk by the time the funeral was over and that was around 1pm. I was embarrassed but thankfully the only person that caught on, I *think*, was my old bestie from high school. lol She and I sat in my car and talked and ate food until I sobered up.
I don't consider myself a drinker, either. And, it really doesn't seem to do whatever I think it's going to do when I drink because I'm nervous, anyway. Alcohol's not a good relaxant, imo. I ended up crying more than I think I would have had I not had alcohol before the funeral.
But lunch was fine. We chatted about stuff. Family stuff mostly. I find when it's just me one on one with sis that she isn't so bad. Has nobody to show off for maybe? I don't know. But things went fine nonetheless. Now I am going to have a big glass of water and a nap. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Hard to tell if it is upset tummy or hunger?
1 tsp. of organic apple cider vinegar.
Have fun!
So, I'm off to lunch with sis. Anxiety ridden. Isn't it sad. I should be happy to be meeting my sis for lunch and instead I have an upset tummy. :(
Take the high road, wherever that leads you!
But definitely not out into the street to be hit by a car.
(Hope your hubs was not planning on driving it) Lol.
Have a wonderful Birthday lunch, a Happy Birthday month too!
I'm glad you didn't break your toe when you kicked the wheelchair -
But actually, as my Texan psychotherapist put it: "Gaad! What a cow!"
Go the lunch. #1 - have a nice lunch :) #2 - keep an open mind. #3 - go prepared with some topics of conversation that *you* have something to say about, so that she's not having to lead all the time. #4 - if she says something that presses a button, repeat it back to her, as close to verbatim as you can manage, and say "is that what you think, really?" If it's fair, maybe she can defend her remark, or maybe if it gets softened and rephrased you'll feel better about it. The key thing, though, is to challenge it: not just to let her bulldoze you into listening to a heap of nasty comments that you don't appreciate or agree with.
Or anyway that's what I'd do if I still wanted to be the sort of person who has lunch with my sister. But you have to bear in mind that I went No Contact with mine in March and I haven't felt the slightest urge to go back on my decision. Our relationship was stressful *at best*, and it was very rarely at its best.
After the lunch, if you haven't had a nice time, don't do it again. If you have, or if it was better than normal, then do do it again. Pleasing ourselves is something women tend to be really bad at - let's work on it!
My question is should I even go? She can be so belittling and cold and self-centred and blah, blah, blah. I have made up my mind that if she starts with the subtle put downs and the superior attitude tomorrow that I am going to finally shut it down. Is it wrong that I am going for lunch with her with a plan already. Will I just jump at the first thing she says that rubs me the wrong way? Should I just cancel? If you were me what would you do? I know I am leaving this question kind of late but if there are any late posters out there, please give me some advice. Thx
Durn wheelchair! Did not know an inanimate object could be affected by the full moon too.
Hoping you all are better soon!
Thanks for asking about me, cause I am still awfully fine for the shape I'm in.....
I'm sorry, this is awful. I used to think the top of my head would blow off from the strain of not yelling sometimes. And yes sometimes I just yelled ("... you get it from your father...").