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Oh lach, that's one big ewwwww!! You poor thing. Glad hubby is there to help. I've always said it'd be so nice if pets didn't poop. I guess I have to add that to humans too.
SS, that most certainly does NOT disqualify you. You're important to me and I'm sure everyone else feels the same. I wanna be at the beach with you!! Where's Hwy 2?
I just re-read the above and realize I posted something twice. Guess its time to take this poor tired brain to bed. Red sky tonight, sailor's delight! :)
Hwy 2 starts at the Mackinaw Bridge, in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. About 65 miles from my house. Yee Haw! On a sunny day, I'll meet you there, or you can come here, and we'll walk down to Lake Charlevoix! :) Anyway, Hwy 2 has the BEST east to west, sandy, no rock beach with hardly a soul on it, and one can walk for miles and miles and miles. It's glorious! Kind of cold, right now, though. Our fave summer spot (in Michigan). We take a tent sometimes, or stay at a motel. LOVE it. Lots of State Parks, forest land, and just plain touristy. Eat fudge or ice cream! It sits on Lake Michigan, and near Lake Huron at the Bridge. Sand plants and limestone here. Indian territory, too. Pretty cool. The best part? Totally relaxing! (Especially off season, like early Spring, or after all the kiddos have gone back to school, when it's still warm.) Or, a great place for a beautiful fall color tour. I dream of Hwy2 all winter long. Sound like a salesperson, don't I? No charge for the speel...and if you come, no charge for the tour!
Yes, Rep.. I have threatened mom with Shady Pines. She just laughs at me because she knows I'm more full of it than she is.
KelleyBean I know you don't ever want to talk about the log again but.... OOOOMMMMGGGGG!!!! Serious? Didja use tongs? I would have gotten those long ones off of the BBQ. Those tongs and a pair of OvGloves.
lach.. your mom is crapping the floor and then she's making chocolate balls?
All of you guys have some real crappy issues. Very Sh**ty. About as funny as a turd in a punchbowl.
BTW, my mom WAS really big on wanting to show me her 'work' 'business' 'brownies'. Now I just follow her into the bathroom and hang out. I ask her if she wants cocktail service, magazine, 6 pack of sailors, etc. I just keep pitching until I get a laugh and she's happy and drops the deuce. After that she gets a butt shine and we're good. I had to intervene because if not there would be tp/poop everywhere and aroma. Trust me, I swear that's all I do is shine a**.
when I first started taking her to the bathroom I was so grossed out I couldn't function. Now I'm simply over it. Now we try to work as a team. If my mom looks at you and says 'uh oh' get out of the way because here we go to the bathroom. Mach ll with our hair on fire. I have the wet wipes in there, but I keep using different kinds so I don't get grossed out by the wet wipe smell. those of you who use wet wipes probably know what I mean. After awhile they smell as bad as the poop so you have to change it up.
Also, with the dementia, they want to wipe the wrong way and there you go... UTI. Mom had a lot of UTIs, was on the meds, etc and it is with a obvious pride that I say: Since I have been wiping my mom's stuff she hasn't had one UTI! harhar
p. s. I had a dog poop in the middle of my bed once. I knew that it was for me because I left him in the house too long. I felt bad about it but couldn't holler at him. couldn't sleep in the bed either.
Bobbie, that boat is beautiful! Wish it were tomorrow. Guess the landing strip is out. How about a float plane? That'll work. So, happy dreaming, everyone! :)
My 97 year old father lives with me. He is in good shape for 97, he can walk and is sharp enough mentally to surf the web and play complex computer games like Roller Coaster Tycoon. I am unemployed so I am home with him. When my parents lived on their own and my mothers dementia was progressing and she could no longer cook they lived on frozen dinners and take-out for several years. I am a pretty good cook and have been preparing home cooked meals for him. If I ask him what he wants for dinner he'll say frozen dinners. One time I made a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikas. I put the plate in front of him ans he said "You know what we whould have for dinner some time.....chicken nuggets and tater tots." I felt like he spit in my face. When I remind him that his BP was dangerously high from the sodium in the crap he was eating he just says "Naaah, that had nothing to do with it."
Has anyone else run into this situation? He is completely tactless. He regularly visits my mother in the nursing home. There are times when my mother will say she was talking to her mother and sisters and asks where the went. My father will say "Naaah, they're dead." I have tried to explain to him that he should not be so blunt and should just say "They're not here now;" He insists that he doesn't want to lie to her.
dewestlake, I don't think anyone here can give you advice about how to change your dad. We can't control another. No amount of talking to my mom, or hubby talking to his dad could convince either one of them that their way of thinking needed to change. Some people's minds just aren't open to it. Have you tried a 2 X 4? Just kidding. I don't mean to belittle your trials, but there's not a lot any of us can do in these situations. The only one you can control is you.
I have asked a social worker at my dad's facility to talk to my mom. She just argues with her, too. What a mess! I go for the damage control, and try to be as loving, encouraging and supportive as I can with dad. I'd like to use duct tape on my mom. She's such a piece of work, I just try to avoid her whenever I can. Reason never works. And arguing only leads to contention. Pride is behind it all, really. Wanting to be "right," not wanting to be humble enough to listen. It's best to leave a scorner alone. When dementia sets in, we're really sunk. So, I encourage you to surround yourself with positive people, vent about the bad, and then let go. Can't give you any magic answers to make your dad behave. Consider the source... And be forgiving. Sounds like he just wants to "be in control..." Let him pretend, if that's what he wants. Don't let it get you down.
hey, buddy don't worry about your dad not knowing the difference between a home cooked meal and tater tots. You can turn yourself inside out and upside down and at the end of the day it just doesn't matter. Sad to say but it's true.
That's why we as caretakers must really protect ourselves from the idiocy of the elderly. Personally, I use humor because it works exceedingly well and it has saved me countless times.
I only found this site in November and at that time I was well into my 6th (5.5 years) year of caretaking my demented mother. I really could have used this site 5 years ago when my mother was at the zenith of her rages. I always loved her and I do my best by her and she is healthy and for the most part happy. I on the other hand want to quote another caregiver on this site: I added 5 years to her life and took 5 years off of my own. (If the person who wrote that sees this, hit me on my wall so I can thank you personally.)
The caregivers on this site have dealt with all kinds of insanity and everybody's view is tempered by their experience. If your dad always had to be right and was prideful, then that's who he is and you can't change it so don't waste your energy trying. It will only make you nuts and I speak from absolute experience on this particular point because I have been nuts with this bs and back again.
Your dad is not going to change, period. He made it to 97 so give him some nuggets and tater tots and don't feel bad. He and your mom probably ate that stuff together and had a good time. Who's to say?
I know you say his mind is sharp and he can play computer games, etc. that's pretty cool because my mom can't find the flush on the crapper.
So you dad's mind is sharp but he's tactless and kind of an idiot to your mom? naaaah, he's just got his own little brand of dementia going.
No arguing and no contention because it's not good for YOU. To heck with him, he's made it to 97 so far and you're taking good care of him and you're doing a great job... you think about you and what you need to do to make the situation more pleasant for you. Your Dad is going to be fine and the issue here is for you to be fine too.
hey there lhardebeck! good to see you. Have you read through some of the thread? We're planning a boat trip! So we dream and plan and have fun with it in the midst of the craziness that we're all dealing with.
Maybe I really need a nap, or maybe I just watched too much TV as a kid, but I just had this corny thought. You know what we can call Bobbie's vessel? The Worn Out Caregiver's Love Boat. Don't shoot me for that. I am so ready. Hey, Bobbie, when does your mom see her Cardiologist? Hey, everyone, hope you have a good day. I've got some serious sundress shopping to do...
Thanks for asking SecSis, her appt is Thursday. She is being very gracious and loving and ready to go to the place (she says now), bless her heart. This time I know that she'll do it, we just have to wait on the cardiologist and the tests so all will be well.
I just don't think I have the soup to do the motorhome thing as much as I'd like to. Still depends on the diagnosis.
You get some pretty sundresses now because the ones you're not wearing will look wonderful drying on the lines on the flybridge and floating in the breeze!
I'm nuts. Still going to wait for the doc's report but she and I know that her going to the resort while I go and sell all of our stuff is the best cause I am tired and she can see it.
I wish I could check in and she could go and sell all of our stuff!!! Like I said earlier, I'm certifiable. Doing the best that I can like we all are, just pooped today not much sleep and you all know how that goes. Just makes everything harder the next day.
well my latest tells my story under the header "I think I'm done with my mom and sister". A little trama going on but nothing I'm not used too.
I'm still worried about you though, I want you to get more rest and stop jumping around doing doing doing. Take a breather and breath in some of that wine. Not too much just a little, easy to say huh...I start with a glass, look up and thoe whole bottle is GONE GONE GONE.
Wow can you believe this thread has 264 post! WOW.
Is that a good thing for the thread? no experience with any of this, just like funny stuff.
I did look at the thread from the beginning last night and noticed that some of our posts have been deleted. Remember Bald Women on Prozac? and the other 'band names' that we came up with? Gone.
Interesting.
Yes I will take your advice, can't drink, but I can lay around and do a sloth impression for a day and a half (except for jumping up to go with mom to the bathroom and cooking and cleaning) Yeah! But other than that........ No running around for motorhomes, just the rest of the week is doctors and hopefully getting mom settled.
bobbie-LOVE the boat. Especially like the name, "Poco Loco." Seems to suit all of us. I really hope you get some good news at the doc on Thurs so you can put mom in NH and you can get a wee little break. By the way, did I miss what happened with the pig and the apple sauce or whatever it was? You said you had a plan, and now ya left me hangin!
Pamela-same ol' crap, huh? Round and round we go on the emotional roller coaster. So sorry it's a sucky day, but that glass of wine is bound to help.
SecretSis-You sold your little sunny spot perfectly, it sounds so lovely.
Kelley-hey, another VA girl! didn't you say you were in NOVA somewhere? I'm in Norfolk.
Just warning everyone-I take absolutely no responsibility for any insanity I post today. I'm so tired I can't even type. Just wait until I get to the punchy phase, then the log of poop will be hysterically funny. Gram only leaves little plops.
hey everyone... so i did something bad.. i decided to organize and file ALL the old photos we have...so of course mom has to sit and look through EVERYTHING. i just wanted to seperate themmmmm.. not go through them NOW.. ughhhhhh.. why do i do this to myself? i knew she would aggravate me!
shes in daycare for the next 3 days, unless she comes up with some mysterious illness that plagues her this week. QUIET TIME!!! woohoo!!! im going to sleep in tomorrow and then head to the dollar store for frames and album inserts.. i love the dollar store!!
thursday, i clean.. even her room.. its the only time i can since shes paranoid about me looking at things lol
she did that wide eyed O_O "what are you doing?" thing to me today.. i had to giggle, it reminded me so much of our thread..
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Yes, Rep.. I have threatened mom with Shady Pines. She just laughs at me because she knows I'm more full of it than she is.
KelleyBean I know you don't ever want to talk about the log again but.... OOOOMMMMGGGGG!!!! Serious? Didja use tongs?
I would have gotten those long ones off of the BBQ. Those tongs and a pair of OvGloves.
lach.. your mom is crapping the floor and then she's making chocolate balls?
All of you guys have some real crappy issues. Very Sh**ty. About as funny as a turd in a punchbowl.
BTW, my mom WAS really big on wanting to show me her 'work' 'business' 'brownies'.
Now I just follow her into the bathroom and hang out. I ask her if she wants cocktail service, magazine, 6 pack of sailors, etc. I just keep pitching until I get a laugh and she's happy and drops the deuce. After that she gets a butt shine and we're good. I had to intervene because if not there would be tp/poop everywhere and aroma. Trust me, I swear that's all I do is shine a**.
when I first started taking her to the bathroom I was so grossed out I couldn't function. Now I'm simply over it. Now we try to work as a team. If my mom looks at you and says 'uh oh' get out of the way because here we go to the bathroom. Mach ll with our hair on fire. I have the wet wipes in there, but I keep using different kinds so I don't get grossed out by the wet wipe smell. those of you who use wet wipes probably know what I mean. After awhile they smell as bad as the poop so you have to change it up.
Also, with the dementia, they want to wipe the wrong way and there you go... UTI. Mom had a lot of UTIs, was on the meds, etc and it is with a obvious pride that I say: Since I have been wiping my mom's stuff she hasn't had one UTI! harhar
LOL I can hear all of you saying BFD!!!
lovbob
Check out this boat. this one could make the Great Circle and make it all the way up to where you are!
http://www.yachtworld.com/core/listing/boatFullDetails.jsp?boat_id=1477653&ybw=&units=Feet&access=Public&listing_id=1593&url=
lovbob
p. s. I had a dog poop in the middle of my bed once. I knew that it was for me because I left him in the house too long. I felt bad about it but couldn't holler at him. couldn't sleep in the bed either.
i like the looks of that one, bobbie.. lots of places for people to just roam around..
lovbob
Has anyone else run into this situation? He is completely tactless. He regularly visits my mother in the nursing home. There are times when my mother will say she was talking to her mother and sisters and asks where the went. My father will say "Naaah, they're dead." I have tried to explain to him that he should not be so blunt and should just say "They're not here now;" He insists that he doesn't want to lie to her.
I have asked a social worker at my dad's facility to talk to my mom. She just argues with her, too. What a mess! I go for the damage control, and try to be as loving, encouraging and supportive as I can with dad. I'd like to use duct tape on my mom. She's such a piece of work, I just try to avoid her whenever I can. Reason never works. And arguing only leads to contention. Pride is behind it all, really. Wanting to be "right," not wanting to be humble enough to listen. It's best to leave a scorner alone. When dementia sets in, we're really sunk. So, I encourage you to surround yourself with positive people, vent about the bad, and then let go. Can't give you any magic answers to make your dad behave. Consider the source... And be forgiving. Sounds like he just wants to "be in control..." Let him pretend, if that's what he wants. Don't let it get you down.
hey, buddy don't worry about your dad not knowing the difference between a home cooked meal and tater tots. You can turn yourself inside out and upside down and at the end of the day it just doesn't matter. Sad to say but it's true.
That's why we as caretakers must really protect ourselves from the idiocy of the elderly. Personally, I use humor because it works exceedingly well and it has saved me countless times.
I only found this site in November and at that time I was well into my 6th (5.5 years) year of caretaking my demented mother. I really could have used this site 5 years ago when my mother was at the zenith of her rages. I always loved her and I do my best by her and she is healthy and for the most part happy. I on the other hand want to quote another caregiver on this site: I added 5 years to her life and took 5 years off of my own. (If the person who wrote that sees this, hit me on my wall so I can thank you personally.)
The caregivers on this site have dealt with all kinds of insanity and everybody's view is tempered by their experience. If your dad always had to be right and was prideful, then that's who he is and you can't change it so don't waste your energy trying. It will only make you nuts and I speak from absolute experience on this particular point because I have been nuts with this bs and back again.
Your dad is not going to change, period. He made it to 97 so give him some nuggets and tater tots and don't feel bad. He and your mom probably ate that stuff together and had a good time. Who's to say?
I know you say his mind is sharp and he can play computer games, etc. that's pretty cool because my mom can't find the flush on the crapper.
So you dad's mind is sharp but he's tactless and kind of an idiot to your mom? naaaah, he's just got his own little brand of dementia going.
No arguing and no contention because it's not good for YOU. To heck with him, he's made it to 97 so far and you're taking good care of him and you're doing a great job... you think about you and what you need to do to make the situation more pleasant for you. Your Dad is going to be fine and the issue here is for you to be fine too.
lovbob
lovbob
ps dwestlake....tater tots and nuggets once in a month I should have added.... sorry.
Have you read through some of the thread? We're planning a boat trip! So we dream and plan and have fun with it in the midst of the craziness that we're all dealing with.
lovbob
Thanks for asking SecSis, her appt is Thursday. She is being very gracious and loving and ready to go to the place (she says now), bless her heart. This time I know that she'll do it, we just have to wait on the cardiologist and the tests so all will be well.
I just don't think I have the soup to do the motorhome thing as much as I'd like to. Still depends on the diagnosis.
You get some pretty sundresses now because the ones you're not wearing will look wonderful drying on the lines on the flybridge and floating in the breeze!
lovbob
I'm nuts.
Still going to wait for the doc's report but she and I know that her going to the resort while I go and sell all of our stuff is the best cause I am tired and she can see it.
I wish I could check in and she could go and sell all of our stuff!!!
Like I said earlier, I'm certifiable.
Doing the best that I can like we all are, just pooped today not much sleep and you all know how that goes. Just makes everything harder the next day.
How you doin baby girl?
lovbob
I'm still worried about you though, I want you to get more rest and stop jumping around doing doing doing. Take a breather and breath in some of that wine. Not too much just a little, easy to say huh...I start with a glass, look up and thoe whole bottle is GONE GONE GONE.
Wow can you believe this thread has 264 post! WOW.
I did look at the thread from the beginning last night and noticed that some of our posts have been deleted. Remember Bald Women on Prozac? and the other 'band names' that we came up with? Gone.
Interesting.
Yes I will take your advice, can't drink, but I can lay around and do a sloth impression for a day and a half (except for jumping up to go with mom to the bathroom and cooking and cleaning) Yeah! But other than that........ No running around for motorhomes, just the rest of the week is doctors and hopefully getting mom settled.
Off to read about your drama, BRB.
lovbob
Pamela-same ol' crap, huh? Round and round we go on the emotional roller coaster. So sorry it's a sucky day, but that glass of wine is bound to help.
SecretSis-You sold your little sunny spot perfectly, it sounds so lovely.
Kelley-hey, another VA girl! didn't you say you were in NOVA somewhere? I'm in Norfolk.
Just warning everyone-I take absolutely no responsibility for any insanity I post today. I'm so tired I can't even type. Just wait until I get to the punchy phase, then the log of poop will be hysterically funny. Gram only leaves little plops.
shes in daycare for the next 3 days, unless she comes up with some mysterious illness that plagues her this week. QUIET TIME!!! woohoo!!! im going to sleep in tomorrow and then head to the dollar store for frames and album inserts.. i love the dollar store!!
thursday, i clean.. even her room.. its the only time i can since shes paranoid about me looking at things lol
she did that wide eyed O_O "what are you doing?" thing to me today.. i had to giggle, it reminded me so much of our thread..