Let’s have a change of pace! Who are the elders in your life that had the biggest positive effect on your life? Share why please.

My maternal grandmother. She was the kind of grandmother every kid loves - warm and loving, always a full candy dish and cookie jar, a patient teacher. When we became adults she never shied away from lively discussions about the topics of the day like politics or abortion or the pros and cons of marriage. Through it all she was a caregiver to my grandfather right up until his final days in hospital, her example was a big part of why I became a caregiver.

i knew an old man when i was a teen who became the biggest influence i can remember . he would sit and have coffee and smokes in the mornings at his kitchen table and threaten a backyard rooster with " dumplings " many times a day . the man was quite a cusser and just a blast to be around .

his wife would drink longnecked fallstaffs , smoke her pall malls and effortlessly be preparing an absolute feast for 50 or so extended family members who would arrive throughout the day .

i was raised to believe anyone outside of a church were miserable hellbound wretches . i was lied to . if im anything like that old man ( and woman ) now that im the ' old man ' ive a lot to thank them for .

My grandmother. I only had one grandparent and she was all I could need. She was a simple country woman, of great faith and perseverance. She was quiet and strong. Her life wasn’t an easy one but I never once heard a complaint. She taught me the meaning of contentment. She truly was content with exactly what she had and didn’t spend time wishing for more. She was happy to spend time with me and always made me feel loved

Oh this is easy. My dad. Hands down. Best person I have ever known. He was my Super Hero. Losing him was one of my biggest, maybe THE biggest heartbreak of my life. I have so many memories that I will always cherish. I'm thankful for those.

Also my son's grandmother on his dad's side, Nan. We are still close and I love spending time with her. She is kind and giving, and a joy to be around. Still doing well in her own home at 86.

My dad. Unconditional love, always. His mother, my grandma--same thing. If you have 2 people in your life who love you without condition you are BLESSED!!

My mother's mom. While not the traditional grandma--she was a hoot and we absolutely loved every moment spent with her. She was always up to do ANYTHING.....

A friend's sweet mom who kind of just took me into the bunch and loved me.

As an adult, I have been blessed with a fabulous neighbor who is an absolute saint to me.

A few (very few) dear friends. My older sister. My BFF from high school, who is a guy, so after I got married, it was weird, but he saved my bacon a lot and loved me more than I knew.

My #2 daughter who is always there with amazingly good advice. She guides me when I am uncertain about where to go.

In my opinion, it's the people who give and love without condition that make the most difference in your life. I hope I have been that kind of mom and grandma.

cwille.

Your story made me cry. Not sad tears though, happy tears. My maternal grandma was so precious to me. She ALWAYS had cookies in the cookie jar! She was so kind and loving. She adored my grandpa and she was certainly the light of his life.

The love that my grandparents modeled was truly special. My grandma was at grandpa’s side until the end too.

Thanks for bringing back memories of cookie jars for me. 😊

Thanks everyone for sharing these special people and stories with me. This really lifted my spirits. I appreciate it so much. Each story spoke to me and it’s confirmation of how precious our memories are to each of us. It’s not just memories though, these people helped to make us who we are today.

Keep these stories coming. They brightened my day!

😊

Mom for teaching endurance, humor, resilience and economics when faced with situations that have serious consequences that are good, bad, or indifferent.
Being the youngest of 7 kids in a Depression era family and having an alcoholic father, her family lived in a mountainous desert. It was blessed with a nearby stream to water bell peppers, tend to the goats, and do laundry.
Against the odds, she learned to be a typist on those old machines, later the electric typewriters. By the time she died at 85 she learned the computer. She started work as a "typist with no pay" in her high school years and retired as an executive secretary at age 65.

She ignored the local Catholic Church's suggestions that she needed to stay home. Mom still remained Catholic and drug her own kids up Catholic (me included). Quite a conflict in the times. The Church could have thrown her under the bus. We told Mom in later years she was probably saved that experience because she always had 3 kids with her at church.

Our dad always provided but Mom would not be caught in a bad position if she had any choice. Working outside the home was a choice. Having control of our destinies was her duty as far as she believed. She was the youngest of 7 and would not return to that position [So help me God].

She always asked us, "What would happen if Bob [Dad] died? So no complaints allowed when Mom went to work. We were reminded to give thanks to God and 2 parents willing to secure their kid's lives and work toward "old age".

Camping was her life in hard times, yet she tolerated camping trips with her own and other's kids. She learned the value of wearing hats that she and her mom always referred to as "sun bonnets". They were cute but her kids were not amused. Today we laugh about ditching the hats and Grandma's assisting Mom in being sure we stayed covered.

Building the campfires, removing cactus thorns, and opening the can of pork & beans as the entree, rather than the side dish, to share among everyone. Dad's carefully packed the food for safety while we traveled. No microwave to thaw the food. Well, next came the stories about the rationing of things, including food, and other necessities.

Oh, about the water! Showering with the spiders at both primitive and semi-developed campsites was part of the program. To really give us a sense of life in the cactus endowed desert hills, she'd sing that old song "Cool, Clear Water" as her youngsters complained they wanted water. Everyone got some water and nobody got all. Whenever I hear that song on the radio it brings a smile to my face!

She elected to limit our playing any cards. She associated cards with an alcoholic father who "gambled the money away". She did allow simple games like "Fish" and not much more. So, yes learning Bridge in middle age seems hard, but I'm "hangin' in there".

She also taught us empathy in many ways, but our favorite was how she handled a mentally sick boy in our first neighborhood. His mom told our mom he not be trusted with anyone and to not leave him alone with any kids. According to his mom, he had already strangled a dog and was being evaluated for the state mental hospital.

So when he came to our screen door that was open, he would ask to come in. Mom reminded him he was not allowed to come in so must return home. This kid drove us crazy because he would repeatedly ask, "No hard feelings Mrs.?" Mom would very kindly respond, "No Clancy, no hard feelings". We had it explained to us kindly, but firmly, we must stop playing with Clancy and still had to be kind to him.

My maternal grandmother was the absolute best!!! She died when I was 21 but I saw a lot of her growing up. She always had me cuddle in her lap and we would sit on her glider on the porch and she would tell me stories and tell me how beautiful I was. She was the best!!!

Again, so heartwarming and inspiring.

My dad was my biggest teacher in my life! He started teaching me to cook at age 9 and as I grew so did my cooking lessons. He taught me how to read people and situations. He showed me how to be responsible and independent. He gave me his love for camping and nature. He instill his values that I still hold on to. He taught me how to think outside the box and critical thinking! I am who I am today good or bad because of him. He showed me how to fight for what I want and to hold on when I felt I was at the end of your rope. He taught me more than I could ever post! I will forever be thankful for him!

I don't have enough words on how much I love and miss him. There isn't a day that doesn't go by that where something happens that I want to tell him!😢

Shell.

That’s how I feel about my daddy too!

My mom without a doubt. There aren't enough words to describe how much I loved her.

She raised 7 of us after my dad died. Even though we were not well off I never felt deprived of anything. What we lacked materially she more than made up for in love. She lost her husband to cancer, survived breast cancer herself, had a mentally ill son, survived a triple bypass and through all of that never lost her strong faith.

I could never live up to the example she set.

I love and miss my mom and her parents. She knew how to accomplish things despite what someone says. I'm trying to learn that.
I loved going to visit my grandparents in NY. My grandma was also a strong yet very sweet women. She would make a delicious meal every night, when I visited. My Grandpa was also nice to talk to.

Wow. Gershun

Your story is incredibly uplifting. I am really glad you shared that. We need to be reminded of the good souls that were in this world.

Gershun,

Your mom gave you the best life had to offer, didn’t she? Material things aren’t what’s most important. experiences are. She lived. She was a survivor. She didn’t waste her life. What a legacy to leave for her children. She will live in your heart forever. I was so touched by what you wrote that I am still reflecting on it.

great thread . id never given much thought to role models and how they affect us .

i had a first sgt in basic training who seemed like a mountain of wholesome values but a few weeks in - he gave me some cards to pass out . seems he was trafficking prostitutes to the basic trainees .

i maintain that the old man i previously mentioned was the best i had . he seemed a vile speaking old boozer but you had to look past that and find the man . the man ( ' s ) every word checked out with previous and future statements .

Cap.

Yes, that guy sounds like he was a diamond in the rough. Hey, I can see why he was a pal of yours. I like people who are genuine like that and speak their mind! More genuine than the guy in the military with you, right?

Hey, Captain

What kind of old man do you aspire to be?

I want a fancy cane if I ever need one! Hahaha 😂 Maybe a nicely carved wooden one with fancy designs. I’m thinking a nice mahogany, walnut or cherry wood would be pretty.

Some say they love being like your friend. a bit edgy, no filter is fun!

I want every senior citizen discount I am entitled too!

I still want lots of hugs from my honey. Even after 41 years with him I look forward to him walking through the door.

I don’t have any grandchildren. That would be the icing on the cake. I have never been the kind of mom that would pressure my daughters into that though and don’t plan to do that now. If it happens I would be thrilled. If not, I am okay with that.

I think I would want any future grandchildren to call me grandma like I called my grandmother. There are some crazy names for grandparents these days.

Seems like ‘grandma’ is out of style now. It’s MeMe, Gigi and a bazillion other things these days. One of my friends told her grandchildren to call her Goddess! LOL

Houseplant,

Your mom was very resourceful! I love that!

Elaine,

I love those gliders. So soothing. I have to say though I was the kid that always told daddy when he was pushing me on the swing at the park, “Higher! Higher!” I was a bit of an adrenaline junkie! Loved the rush! Just like the roller coasters and the free fall rides! Loved them! I was his wild child that the wilder and faster, the better it was!

Remember how fun it was to hold your arms out and spin until you got dizzy? 🤪 Gosh, as an adult you would throw up! LOL

To everyone that honored their grandma, I get it!

Let’s hear it for all the grandmas who were fabulous cooks! My grandma was a great cook too.

My paternal grandmother. She was simple from another country but she offered so much more than my other 4 grandparents who cared but were not able to express real nurting love. I believe I love my grandchildren in the manner I do due to her.

Gershun,

Sounds like your mom was a fighter. All the money in the world can't buy that kind of love! How lucky you are to have such a wonderful mom:)

Thanks for sharing!😊

My Mother’s best friends taught me to play cards because I would be bored while they played. At that table I learned math(they played for change), I learned determination, 2 were divorced 1 was widowed, they were all raising children & working on there own in the 70’s. I learned to be quiet & listen, read faces, & the value of friendship in relaxing from life for a moment.
my Godmother, she was only Godmother to one of us 7 kids but we all called her Godmother & she treated us all the same. She was older but seemed even older because she was painstakingly slow. She was in her 90’s when I was in my 30’s & always current on politics, pop culture everything. One day we had a long wait for something alone & she said I want to tell you something. I’m slow because I’m careful, if I fall I’m usually alone so nobody will pick me up, if I fall I will endure a painful recovery alone. She lived alone in another country, sidewalks there are usually cracked & uneven. She continued, I stay up to date by reading & watching tv because when you get older if you don’t know what’s going on you can’t contribute to the conversation & people will stop talking to you. Every day at 5pm no matter who’s house we were in or a restaurant she’d quietly ask if there was tequila, 1 shot a day was her guilty pleasure until she passed at 95.
My nana will also always hold a special spot in my heart, all memories of her are good. She left me when I was 8, but she was unconditional love.

Momship,

Oh boy, did you just trigger a wonderful happy memory for me. My aunt taught me to play cards! She loved gin rummy, pity pat, hearts, spades, clock, just a slew of games that I endlessly entertained myself with. Wish I still knew how to play them. My favorite as a kid was pity pat. My grandpa knew really cool card tricks. Those too, I don’t remember a single one. I always wanted to teach my kids those card tricks but I couldn’t remember them.

I giggled at your tequila story, Hahaha.

Thanks for the memories.

Riverdale,

So true. There are things we never forget.

Oh Tacy,

I got chills reading about your grandpa. He was a treasure! He truly was ahead of his time. Your grandpa reminds me of mine. 😊 I especially like how he sent you away before his death. He was a selfless man, but you know that already. He loved you like my grandpa love me.

I adored my grandpa too. He always let me garden with him. I learned so many things from him. As I kid, I didn’t always get it but he knew that he was planting seeds that would grow.

A few of the things he told me I carry in my heart to this day. One way, “Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are.” He was telling me to choose my friends carefully. Love that!

My grandma was religious and had deep faith. He respected her faith and adored her. Grandpa wasn’t so religious. He used to say, “Heaven and hell are right here on earth.” Oh, so true! He was telling me that sometimes life is great and other times it sucks. He may not have been religious but he certainly taught me right from wrong. He was a fair man and charitable with others. He had strong values.

He was a shipbuilder by trade, very hard worker! He could build anything. He would take the scrap lumber and build me toys. One time it was a pair of stilts. He taught me to use them. I got so good that I could walk around the block on them. The neighborhood kids loved them and wanted them too. He built them for all of the kids in my neighborhood.

I learned a love of baseball from him. He was funny. He would be resting in his recliner with his eyes closed but I swear he still knew the score. He was listening. Grandma would walk in and turn off the game because she thought he was sleeping. He would get annoyed. She would tell him that he was sleeping and he would tell her the score. Hahaha.

Oh just just a ton of things like that. We will never forget them, right Tacy?

Stories like yours, Tacy is why I started this thread. I needed to hear about positive relationships. This is so uplifting for me and I hope these stories will lift other’s spirits as well.

When I was a teen, I had my own Viking who was the mother of my best friend.

Another was a mentor at work.

They have sadly passed, as well as my own mother.

I have only to open my eyes to understand in gratitude how many have helped me through life, often on a daily basis, and as friends.

It is amazing that there are a few times I have been able to help others in return.

Send,

I can’t stop smiling as I read these personal stories. Friend’s moms can be fantastic! I knew a few myself. Mentors at work too.

Some of my daughter’s friends call me mom. I think that’s terribly sweet. They feel like my kids! All those sleep overs with young giggling girls, right? Memories...

It is nice to give back. I relate to you saying that.