I went over to my mothers house last night at 6:00pm. Her door was locked as it usually is. I unlocked it and said hello. She kept saying hello, hello. I went in the living room and she wasn’t on the couch. I couldn’t see her.
I went in the hallway thinking she might have gone upstairs. I could hear her saying hello. I went in the living room and she was laying on her stomach on the floor next to the couch.
She was awake and alert. I called 911. They told me not to move her. The EMT’S would move her. I held her hand till they came. She was alert and conscious.
They took her to the hospital and I met her there. The doctor took off her sock and said her feet!! Her feet, the skin is falling off her feet. I told him she won’t let me bathe or soak her feet. She is suppose to go to the foot doctor on Saturday.
The doctor said when was the last time anyone saw her? I said I was there Sunday night and don’t know how long she had been laying there. I found her Tuesday night.
I explained how she takes call a bus once a week. She doesn’t want any help.,She won’t let me bathe her or wash her hair or change her clothes.
They did testing. She had a stroke on her right side and pneumonia in her right lung.
They will do a brain scan on her. She didn’t know what month it was. She didn’t know where she was. She told me to get married. I’ve been married 36 years. I can’t stop crying. I held her hand. I just got home from the hospital and will go back tomorrow.
I feel guilty for not finding her sooner. I should have gone over on Monday. I’m feeling overwhelmed with guilt.
There are no words.💔
Rest in God's comfort.
When I didn't see an update earlier, I had a sinking feeling that your mom had passed away. I thought I'd check one more time -
I'm so very sorry and many, many tears from members of the forum are being shed along with yours. I am very thankful that your brother did make it in time and the two of you were beside her in her final moments.
May God heal your broken heart as the grieving process begins.
Sending you a hug...
I am so sorry for your loss. Glad your brother is with you.
Hugs
I am sorry for the loss of your mom. I am so very glad that your brother was there with you.
Death is never easy to accept even if we expect it. There are so many emotions that run through our minds.
You will grieve and it’s completely normal to grieve.
Have a good cry for the loss of your mother. She lived her life the way she wanted. I truly believe, correction, I know when we die, we leave our bodies behind and move on to another realm, a better place, free of pain and we are whole again. Your mother is there now, with her loved ones waiting and welcoming her. You will see your mom again.
Much love to you elane.
Cant stop crying. Thank you everyone for your well wishes. I appreciate all of you so much!!!
She died at the hospital 10/31/2020 12:15am.
I just read this entire thread. You’re surrounded in spirit and love by many. Many of us feel your pain as we have gone through an all-too similar situation.
I lost my father almost two years ago- I, too, found him lying on the carpet. I cried as I read your words. He lived in his own home, on his own terms, until 97.
Please allow yourself to cry. Tears heal. It’s ok. I don’t know you, but I do feel your pain. I pray for peace for you and your family.
As I said, it took 2 years to get to this place. It took a sudden hospitalization (which mom recovered from) to get mom and sibs to align on a plan.
Your caregiver friends are here to comfort you at this very sad, difficult time.
💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞
Oct 30, 2020
Update- having our meeting soon. I’m going to ask if she can stay at the hospital. They called me to come to the hospital at 9:30am. She took a turn for the worse.
elaine1962
Oct 30, 2020
" my mother only has a few days, or weeks to live. She suffered a severe stroke and pneumonia in one lung. She is receiving comfort care at the hospital but they can’t keep her for weeks."
elaine1962
Oct 30, 2020
Update- Thankfully if she needs to be moved to a facility with hospice, it won’t happen until Monday at the earliest.
Not eating or drinking and unresponsive. I don’t want to move her. I’m going to tell hospice that. My brother coming at 3:00. I hope he makes it in time. She appears to be in a coma. I can’t stop crying.
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As far as using hindsight to kick yourself, stop! Someone else did say it - even if you had been there Monday, this could've happened later, after you left if you went. There's no way to know when and there's no way you could have prevented it happening. At least you DID find her and she was still alive.
Whether she recovers or not, you did the best ANYONE could do under the circumstances. You are doing the BEST even now, being there for her. Even though she's having trouble with names, dates, places, etc, she still knows who you are and even wants the best for you! GET MARRIED!!! STOP living in sin, girl!!! (yes, I'm aware you are married...)
I just lost my old girl, Katie, who has been with me most of her life (about 21y8-9m.) I knew it was a matter of time, but my biggest wishes was that I would be here for her AND that she would pass peacefully. I was here for her. She more or less went quietly. It's tough to lose someone, esp one who is very attached and been with me so long. Hopefully you can be with your mom to the end, if that's the way events work out, and she passes peacefully. She will have won her battle to do it all HER way.
Sincerest sympathies.... Katie's "mom" Remembering the good times...
Last we heard, Elaine's mother was unresponsive and not eating/drinking. Let's all continue to encourage and lift her UP at this very difficult time when hospice is being called in.
I am posting here to also make people aware of an app I use to monitor a patient while I am away. It’s call Alfred Camera, and it is like a baby video monitor to watch over someone via an app on your cell phone.
i hope your Mom is feeing better soon. Pneumonia feels rotten.
No one, including the doctors know when the problem started. They can only guess, in part, based on the time you saw her last. Don’t let them make you feel guilty. When you left her, it was okay to do so.
And by the way my feet were peeling last week too!
Focus now on the positives as you move forward.
if your mom had a stroke there all so many therapeutic things you can do when she gets released from the hospital.
My dad had a stroke in his eighties and in the beginning, he couldn’t walk or read, but he got better. He regained both abilities with work.
If you are able to accompany her to therapy, keep replicating the therapy later. I tried to make it more fun. If they don’t let you go because of Covid, private message me and I will send you ideas. We had to re-teach Dad the alphabet and did so by singing and using recipe cards with letters written in Sharpie.
In therapy, they had dad sort painted wooden blocks by color. I had him sort m&ms (a favorite of his). When I asked him what color they were, he said they were all different shades of beige. It seems as though right after the stroke he was seeing the world as sepia-toned. His vision came back after time.
In the beginning, Dad couldn’t recognize numbers or play games, but a couple of months later, we were playing checkers. He was able to add again, after time and practice.
if your mom can walk, get her some Vans or other skateboarding shoes. Skateboarding shoes are flat and stable and they grip. These helped dad maintain his balance as he learned to walk again.
I feel your pain and intensity as if i was there in the hospital room with you.
Im praying, hugs to you and mom. Stay strong.
blessing to you both🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
However, now is a time to take action. Will she go to inpatient rehabilitation? If so, the hospital will generally give you short notice. Talk to the social worker immediately to see what the possible options are. A patient must be inpatient at a hospital, before medicare will pay for inpatient rehab.
We've gone through this twice. My sister and I visited facilities, that could meet my Mom's needs and had room for her, to help us make a decision. I am not sure how Covid effects this.
I suggest that Mom have a life alert at home and daily care. We started with 3 days a week, with an agency and my brother, sister and I were there the other 4 days.
I am so sorry this happened, but your Mom is getting help. I know what a scary and exhausting time this is.
Again, please don't feel guilty. Praying for you and your Mom.