A few days ago on the thread "The One Thing That Bothers You The Most About Caregiving" I wrote that this past Thursday was a fabulous day for Mom after months of bad/mediocre days with the bad outnumbering the mediocre. She ate hearty and us three girls and Mom played the card game Rummy and laughed a lot. Mom even came in second place (with Sister 1's help). At 8 p.m., we put her to bed. From Thursday evening until this Sunday morning, she'd been solid in bed practically asleep. Nothing to eat and about total of 1/2 cup of fluid. We gave her Ativan to calm jerking so bad she was sweating and was a hazard to herself, almost like constant seizing. She groaned and grimaced in pain so was put on morphine too. After an agonizing night--for us girls--Mom passed around 5:30 a.m. She's no longer in pain and ravaged by dementia. I've read that the dying often have a terrific day then dies a few days later. I thought of that on Thursday as I watched Mom laugh and play cards. The people on this forum aren't just caregivers for their charges, be they parent or spouse, but also to each of us who undertake a most difficult task. Thank you all who have given support and guidance to me or influenced me so much. If you ever have a bad day and wonder if you make a positive difference in the world, look in the mirror and say: "Yes. Yes, I do."
Sending my heartfelt sorrow to you and yours, but also happiness for that special day you all had with your mom. It's what I was looking to strive for. Though she's still here, I am learning to relax that it's a toss up with the narcissistic moms.
Nice to have such a blessing.
Hugs
I'm sorry on the loss of your mom. So glad you had a great day with her. Have that day as your memory of her. She's at peace and you brightened her last days.
For my late mother, her eyes were closed and no communication from her EXCEPT ONE SOLITARY TEAR THAT ROLLED DOWN HER SWEET CHECK.
Prayers for a peaceful heart as you wade through what needs to be done and for grief.
I'm so glad your mom had a good day before leaving you. It makes it a little easier to bear their passing, knowing that they had one really good day.
My deepest sympathies and condolences. I'm sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and your family during this sad time. Sending hugs.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
My deepest condolences to you and your family. May your sweet Mom rest in peace. Here is a big thank you right back at you for being there for me and sharing your wisdom.
Love and prayers to you .... Lucy in the Sky
The support I received from this site as well as through our friends, faith and family promoted me to write on Mom’s Acknowledgment cards, “Moms life was enriched by the presence of so many great friends and extended family members that she left behind to help our family through this very difficult time. Each of you had a special place in her heart, and she will live on in our hearts as we remember the special moments we shared with her. Thank you sincerely for your love, compassion, and friendship in celebrating Mom’s life.”
May God grant you grieving mercies and may your future be filled with more such love and laughter, frequently - HUGS 2 u!
The way you describe her last days and interactions with you & your sisters, it sounds like you were truly blessed to have that last Thursday with your mom.
Prayers to you...
You will be in my prayers. May God bless you.
MountainMoose - I haven't been on this site that long, but have read many of your posts, and I feel like I know you a little, understand your struggles a little, and watched part of your journey with your mom, and your battles with your sibs so you could go home. I am happy and sad for you at the same time. Sad for your loss, but happy that your mom is now freed, and happy that you can go home and restart your life. ((( HUG)))
My condolences on the loss of your mother. I am glad you had this last happy memory of her.