My mother has been narcissistic, mean and nasty life long. I cared for her for out of duty for four hellish years. Now in a NH her journey down looney toon alley is outta sight - calling me screaming and getting me into a stroke/heart attack situation. I will visit, ensure she has all she needs and attend to her financis but I'm kicking her to the curb.
I now take my phone off the hook at supper time and leave it off overnight. If my mother has a problem there are skilled staff on duty 24/7 and there's a hospital 4km away - I'll deal with it tomorrow. I don't know if I'll ever recover completely, but already I'm more calm and not living in fear and dread. Baby steps.
Emjo do you have to go at all? It's so hard on you and puts you back to somewhere you don't want to be. Could you talk to the psych doc by Skype or some other means of teleconference? There are a lot of free programs/utilities for that purpose.