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Needhelpwithmom, so glad your visits with your mom are going so well. It sounds like hospice is taking good care of her. Has she needed any medicine? Is she in any pain or does she take morphine?

I use to LOVE watching soap operas. All My Children and General Hospital were the ones I watched. But you are right, they are slooooow moving shows!
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Thanks, Elaine

Mom takes her Parkinson’s meds, baby aspirin, Seroquel and Ativan. That is it at the moment. The nurse has told us that morphine is available when she will need it. I suppose that will be down the road.

Yes, soaps are very popular! Remember the nighttime ones, Dallas, Dynasty and Knots Landing? They were extremely popular shows. Then later on the trend turned to reality shows when the writer’s strike hit. Geeeeez!
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Needhelpwithmom, well that’s good. Your mom is comfortable and not in any pain.

For some reason I never watched the night time soap operas. My sister n law always watched them.
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Happy for you :)
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Thank you so much, Lvnsm. 😊
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Thanks for this update, NeedHelp. You know how valued you are on the Forum, I sure do hope. I think those of us who are often here get to know one another, and to treasure one another. I think the Forum is wonderful, and think that you are TOO! And sure agree with you about Lealonnie, always so kind and helpful, and a source of strength for so many.
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Thanks, Alva.

I truly appreciate your kind words and wise advice.

Of course, I respect and appreciate your professional opinion coming from a medical background as a nurse but also as a great human being who tells it like it is! Love that about you!
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Going to see my mom. Hubby is going with me. We are going to bring her a chocolate bunny and chocolate eggs.

Just got to the corner and I my husband says, “Oh, crap!” So, I say, “You forgot your wallet? He said, “Yeah.”

This is the third time he has left the house without his wallet!

I jokingly asked him if he was getting dementia.

He blamed it on not going to work everyday, and since he has been used to working remotely he doesn’t think about his wallet.

We do get forgetful at times, don’t we?
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So, I brought roasted chicken, potatoes and salad to my mom today.

She says, I haven’t had any oysters since I left your house. So my husband went to pick her up an oyster po-boy. I am glad that she enjoyed her oysters. She liked the chocolate candy.

She’s so funny, she told the aide to put on her pretty nightgown before we got there.

She said she will eat the other food tomorrow or the next day.
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So, the nurse is checking mom for a UTI that may be related to her catheter.

Have any of you experienced issues with catheters?

I’ve never had a UTI before, nor has my mom. Just wondering what it involves.

My daughter got one many years ago. I saw her becoming very uncomfortable. I took her to the pediatrician.

It was a different pediatrician because my regular one was out. I didn’t like the one filling in. He was blowing me off and treated me like an overprotective mom so I made an appointment with a urologist for her.

Yep, she had an UTI. He gave her antibiotics and it cleared up. The urologist said it was caused by wearing a wet swimsuit too long.

After that I made sure that she didn’t play in her swimsuit after she swam. I made sure that she changed into dry clothes.
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Hope you get the UTI sorted out. Glad your mum is enjoying the food. Sounds awesome!
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Golden,

Thank you.

Yeah, her appetite seems to be good.

I love her nurses and caregivers so I am hoping that they will figure it out.

I want her to be as comfortable as she can be.
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Sending you a virtual hug.
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Maple,

Thanks so much. I will take all the hugs and prayers that I get right now.

I have my days where I feel I am doing fairly well and other days that I am down.

I smiled when I saw your message. It is hard to see mom fading away.
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I’m not sure what exactly mom meant this morning. Her nurse just told me that mom said, “My husband has passed away.”

Daddy died in 2002! I wonder if she was dreaming of him.

She has slept so much today. She barely ate. She had a little soup.

She is on some pain meds now. I guess that’s one reason why she has been so sleepy today.

It’s really hard to see her decline like this. I hate to cry when I am driving. I usually sit in my car for a bit before driving home.
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NHWM, Your mom may have been visited by your dad today, as a lot of folks when nearing death see loved ones that have gone on before them. I find it quite comforting and interesting. My husband before he became unconscious, would have lengthy conversations(in his broken speech because of his stroke)and even laugh out loud, as if someone told him something funny, with people that I couldn't see, but he could, and said he knew. I at one point asked him if these people wanted him to go with them, and he said yes. I then asked, do you want to go with them, and he turned and looked at me like I was crazy, and said NO! I got a chuckle out of it at the time, and it still makes me smile when I think of it. Watching a loved one die is very hard, and I certainly feel your pain. I hope and pray that your mom won't have to suffer, and that she'll go peacefully when it's her time. God bless you.
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You did the best you could as your mother’s caregiver. I tell naysayers, I know my mom is dying, we all are, but I will be able to bury her with no regrets. And so can you. Prayers.❤️
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Needhelpwithmom, hugs and prayers to you and your mom. I know how hard it is to watch her decline. You are such a strong woman. You are caring and compassionate and your mom is so lucky to have you. Big hugs to you!
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funkygrandma,

I hope you are right. I hope my dad did visit my mom today. Thanks, your message made me feel better.

Mipollito and Elaine,

Thanks for your encouraging words. They mean a lot to me.
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Just catching up on all these posts, there’s been a lot going on with your mom, Needs! How’s it going now? Thinking about you, hugs and prayers!
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((((((((need)))))))) Such hard time right now. You are doing a great job of providing company and treats for your mum. I know it is very stressful for you. Don't take on more than you can manage i.e .keep your stress levels as low as you can . Easier to say than do I know. Prayers ongoing for you and your mum.
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Mary,

Thanks, it is hard knowing exactly how to feel right now.

Golden,

Mom is suffering some and I have seen her telling her nurse that she isn’t in pain but she is.

My brother (deceased) was hooked on opioids just about his whole life!

My poor mom, at 95 and in hospice is afraid of being addicted. It breaks my heart.

She has refused her liquid morphine. The pills that they are giving her aren’t relieving all of her pain.

I’m upset. I don’t know what exactly to say to calm her fear about addiction.
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need - (((((hugs))))) maybe you can't, maybe you can, but in the end she makes the decision as long as she is able. Please don't take responsibility for the decisions she is making. She is aware of her choices. The time may come when others can make that choice for her, but right now it is not that way. Maybe she has not fully comprehended that addiction at the point is a non issue. You can only do so much. Please don't hassle yourself about it and increase your own stress for something that is out of your control. Look after you!
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Golden,

Thank you. I couldn’t even put into words exactly how I feel.

You said it for me. It is truly a ‘non issue’ as you say. I suppose it is satisfying for her to feel in control as of now.

This does help me understand my situation a little better.

I appreciate your kindness.
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Needhelpwithmom, hugs to you!!! When my dad had cancer and was with hospice he REFUSED morphine. I know he was in pain but he knew that morphine is truly the END when you are in hospice and are terminally ill.

We gave him morphine when he was no longer able to speak, eat, move, etc. We did the same with my mom. We gave her morphine when she was no longer able to speak, eat, move etc.

Big hugs to you!!!
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Thanks, Elaine.

I so appreciate your warmth during this time.

We are in the car on the way to see her now. It’s been so nasty here. Lots of rain!
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Elaine,

Please tell me since you went through this recently.

Did you find this time harder than you anticipated?

I kept telling myself that I was prepared. Now I find myself shaking, barely eating.

Well, I guess that part is just me. I don’t feel like eating when I am down or when I feel anxious.
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Needhelpwithmom, it was much harder with my mother than my father. My father was terminally ill for 6 months before he died. I was close to him and we talked every day. I went over to visit everyday and he was grateful I was there because he told me so. We had 6 months of a long goodbye. We had 6 months of talking and hugging and I love you’s.

My mother had her stroke when I found her on a Tuesday. By Friday she was in a coma and just after midnight she was pronounced dead. I didn’t know she was going to leave me so fast. I was just at her house talking to her on Sunday. By Tuesday her stroke had done brain damage and she didn’t even know my name. I still kept telling her I loved her even though she didn’t know where she was or who I was and didn’t know my son or my husband. When she was in her coma that Friday, I practically crawled in bed with her. I was sobbing and had half my body laying on her snd hugging her and kissing her cheeks and forehead. The nurses assured me she could hear me and I wanted to let her know that she wasn’t alone. My brother then came up at 4pm to sit and talk to her too. It was just so much harder this time around because it happened so fast. I really wasn’t prepared.

You’ll know when the end is here because she will stop eating, and talking and eventually go into a coma. But be assured when that happens she can still hear you. So always keep talking to her. Just let her know she’s not alone. I wish I could say that it was easy, but I just want to be honest and say, it’s not easy. Just to be there at the end and letting her know she’s not alone, she will be at peace and then you will be too. Hugs and prayers going out to you during this incredibly difficult time.
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Thank you so much for your comforting words, Elaine.

I just laid down in my bed. I am going to try and rest.

I understand that you had a more difficult time with your mom than your dad.

This seems to be true for me too. I am struggling with this. I am going to try to find more strength to carry on.

Thanks again. I am tired and hopefully will get a decent night’s sleep.
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Need, I hope when you read this you are feeling so much better rested. I have been offline for a few days, just read your sad updates. This is hard. But you will get through it. Thinking of you & sending a big big hug.
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