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I try so hard to do anything to please. I do not say much because it will be my fault.Even asking why she was angry was the wrong question to ask. I was very calm when I posed the question. She became irate. Saying I must never criticize her. Tirade lasted over a hour. This happens more days than not.

I told my mother last visit, "I cannot come into your world, but I wish you could come into mine." It's so hard to deal with anger and irritation from a dementia patient. It's worse when they are someone close to you. As others have said it may be time for medication and possibly a different living arrangement. You can't walk on eggshells and have a calm, happy home.
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Reply to JustAnon
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I learned a lot from watching Teepa Snow videos on YouTube. You will need to learn techniques and strategies on how to engage with LOs with dementia for more peaceful and productive interactions.

Your person's brain is broken so now you are the only one who can adjust to avoid blow-ups. You didn't cause her disease and you can't fix it. It is progressive, so will only get worse. You must think carefully now about your future, so that you have options to hand over caregiving responsibilities to a facility, or just resign and leave this situation in as clean a way as possible.

Your next act today would be to call this person's doctor to get meds for their depression/aggitation/aggression/anxiety. My Mom is on the lowest dose of Lexapro and it helped her a lot.
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Reply to Geaton777
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It sounds like you're not very well versed about the horrific disease of dementia, since you seem to taking this all to heart and feeling like it's all your fault.
Perhaps educating yourself more about dementia will better help you understand what is going on with your loved one and also help you not to take things so personally.
Your loved ones brain is broken and will never get better only worse, so it's time to just go with the flow or if that's too much for you look into getting her placed in the appropriate facility.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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You don't provide much information, but if you are dealing with (living with?) someone with dementia, you can not expect to have a reasonable discussion with them. They are simply not capable of reasoning because their brain is not functioning properly.
The way you are feeling now, it sounds to me like this is beyond your ability to manage. Please ask her doctor for medication. If this continues, it is not sustainable long term for you. Please consider placement in an appropriate care home.
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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Is this your mother? Is she living with you in your home, or are you living with her in her home? A doctor can prescribe medication to calm anger and aggression. Other care arrangements may be necessary if she continues to be abusive. You should not have to live your life "trying so hard to please" and feeling like everything "will be my fault." Please provide more details so we can help.
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Reply to MG8522
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We need more info. Who is she to you. Her age. Does she live with you, you with her? Or is she in a facility.

You have Dementia as the topic. Stop trying. Try to ignore. Its the desease. Ask her doctor for a medication that may help.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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