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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I am asking $200 a week for 24 hr caregiver & my siblings who live 1200 miles away are FURIOUS. The siblings have visited twice in 7 yrs. once because my dad passed.
I agree with Dustein. I started out exactly the same as you except my siblings were okay with the little amount of money. As the years went by Mom's expenses became so much more, just on groceries and medication alone. My husband was the only one working and because I was her daughter we took care of all of the overflow. There is a reason why the independent living centers cost so much. They provide the care you are providing, nursing, meals, therapy, a place to live, etc. It all costs... even if you are family. As I said, my siblings were okay with the minimal cost that I needed to help with her until she passed. Then suddenly I should have been caring for her for free. My husband and I actually spent thousands each month caring for her. I loved that she was in a home environment, as did she, but it costs to maintain that. Meds are expensive, as are groceries, and to devote your time 24 hours a day. I wish we would have done a contract every year. That way as Mom needs grew, we could have revised the contract. I also wish we would have visited a lawyer so they could have advised Mom as to what she needed to do to that we hadn't thought of. As it stands now I never speak to the siblings. Because of this we are fractured and will never speak again. I am hurt they stand in judgment and yet know nothing of what it took, or the time that was spent. I loved that Mom was with us and that she was happy. That, in the end, made me far richer than my siblings will ever be. Even though it is uncomfortable, get things in writing with Mom if she is able. Leave room every year to go back over contracts and things that she wanted as her needs will change. Have the lawyer make a trip to your home and spend an hour to chat with her. Regardless of whether the siblings agree or not, let them know the alternatives...$6000+ for independent living centers, or $480 a day for a service to come in. We tried the service to keep Mom in her home and independent for longer. We decided after about a year that it was too costly, and having family care for her 24/7 was better. Family Care meaning me...I saw the siblings maybe three times in close to 5 years. Don't let your siblings goad you into thinking what you are doing isn't valuable, or that because you are a daughter/son you can do it for free. It costs...boy, does it cost. Also, the things we caregivers don't talk about is the cost to self. I cared for Mom for almost 5 years. I worked before I cared for her and found after her death I couldn't find a job in the same field. Companies thought I had been gone too long and my skill sets had become "rusty." Not having the routine that I had with Mom for so long when she passed left me anxious and lost. That required grief therapy. Being on "call" 24/7 left me with a 4 hour sleep pattern. Yep, sleep therapy has tried to fix that...no luck yet. My husband and I hadn't been alone for 5 years, and we had run out of savings taking care of what it really cost to have Mom in the house. Those are the "things" the siblings will never realize. While I loved having Mom here, and she was happy until she passed, I will always have a different experience of her last years than my siblings will. We will never see eye to eye about anything concerning her and that is okay. They however, are also something I lost. We now have no relationship. In hindsight I wish I would have had more in writing because siblings do change their tune regardless of whether you think they will or won't. In the end her care was really between her and I, as long as she was able to make a decision she did until the end, and that was her right. It superseded anything my siblings wanted or could do. Good luck to you. Take the time to put what you are doing in writing and re-evaluate what you are doing as time moves forward that way you will be covered and up to date. Find out what a "reasonable" rate is for your time, and the expense of having her there. That isn't being mean, or not being a good daughter/son, it is just being factual. I found out in the end that the cost for Mom was really closer to the $6000 a month. Siblings won't know that because they are uninvolved and have their own lives. They don't know how much it takes because she isn't in their home.
Are you kidding me? $200 A DAY would be a bargain!!! Send some of these responses to your siblings. They haven't a clue what it takes to be a caregiver.
No you are not greedy.I deal with the same thing.my grandpa passed in may.my mom and aunt are very mad.i paid myself. And they didn't get any money...I've lived with grandpa for 4 yrs.i paid myself for 20 months. They r the greedy ones.very well off.and I couldn't pay bills the month after her passed.I had to do what was best for me and him...good luck..greedy family sucks..
I agree with alot of what has been said above. I am the middle child of 5 and I am the only one providing the care for mom while maintaining a full time job. I absolutely agree with compensating yourself, I do. I felt guilty at first but I don't anymore. I would agree that $200 is not very much money. I was put in a situation with my siblings that I had to apply for Community Medicaid with Immedia Care for my mom because the one POA decided there was no more money for mom's care or to pay me rent. I was given 2 months to make all this happen. Oh, and this POA never stops in to see mom and she lives a couple of blocks away. OH, and she is the primary on the health care proxy and has no clue what is happening with mom. If my mom only knew, it would absolutely break her heart. It is disturbing how quickly the other siblings wrote mom off as if she were already dead. Do what you have to do to take care of yourself and your mom and don't worry about what any sibling thinks. Yes, be sure you consult an elder care attorney in regard to a contract to protect yourself. I can also tell you that through Medicaid, in New York anyway, they allow for rent to be paid to the primary caregiver who is providing the shelter, food, etc. So, I hope that reinforces that you are absolutely entitled and you are in no way greedy. You are a rock star for being a caregiver to your mom. Take care of yourself.
Your relatives are wacky! If your mom ends up in a nursing home, their "inheritance" will vanish in no time! My friend's mom languished in a nursing home for 10 years, and her million dollar estate went right down the drain.
I don't think $200.00 is enough - thank rest of family for making you rethink then ask $250.00 - that is just above slave wage [or is it?] - if they question you further add more then 'settle' for the $250.00 which is $1.4880 [so under a buck & a half] per hour with NO BENIFITS other than the love of your parent - tell rest of family to take long walk off short pier
$200 is very low, which is about $10/hr--not even the minimum wage. You should find out the average wage for a caregiver in your area. Then figure out what you should charge for your services. Of course, your fee depends on your mother's ability to pay. You did not mention your age. However, if you are leaving your job to be a caregiver, finding work after your caregiving ends could be very difficult. Employers understand taking break to have a baby, but they don't see caregiving in the same positive way. Your wages as a caregiver must be reported to SS, especially if they are close to what you earned in your former employment. Please make sure that your pay period and who willl write your paycheck is well understood by all. Afterall, you are working and should be paid in a timely manner. If your siblings are contentious, then you might consider getting a time clock that you would use to punch in every morning and out every night. Also during emergencies at night. Also keep accurate records of every penny you spend while you are a caregiver. Be as responsible as if you were employed by a business or company. You need to factor in paying for respite care. If you don't have regular breaks from caregiving, you will burn out. Factor the respite care into the household expenses. Of course giver your siblings the opportunity to provide respite care regularly. A backup plan if you can't work or are ill is a must.
Having been a paid caregiver it is not enough. They have no idea what 24/7 care entails. Invite them ti come out and care for her 1 week while you take a much needed rest. Also you can call various care agencies and ask them what 24/7 live in would cost.
Well it's been a couple of weeks since asked, but this question hits home with me. Have an attorney draw up a caregiver contract between you and your mom. If not already, you should also have POA for mom for health and finances. Keep a record of the hours you work for mom and what you do. You should not feel bad being an employee of your moms. That's what it is basically.
Caregiving is a life changing event, from the smallest level of change where you have to stop by your dads house and drive him to his doc appointments, and to his weekly meeting to visit friends or for whatever that might take a day out of every week, to full care of a parent in your home, on any level it will change your life. Caregiving has driven many people to financial ruin as well, or even prevented them from building on their own retirement.
I had to shut down a business I started that was doing well to take care of my parent who is disabled, needs 4 to 6 hours of care each day, not counting if he gets sick.
As an employee, you will have to pay income tax, I'd recommend you take that seriously and a good tax service can help you with that for a small fee, it's worth it. I personally work a lot of hours and have a lot of expense for my parent care that I do not get paid for because the funds aren't there, but I keep out of a financial hole by what I do make. People can get paid up to 12.00 an hour in their home for taking care of a loved one, that hourly pay is based on Medicaid boundaries depending on the state you live in. You can also be reimbursed for mileage when you pick up prescriptions, do their shopping, take them to doc appointments, or anything they insist on where you must use your vehicle to drive them. You can also be reimbursed for utilities used. My parent keeps an electric heater running 24/7 year round, and has bedding to wash almost every day, it adds up fast when you're on a limited income. Basically for my situation, my parent wanted to live at a certain level I could not provide financially, so he arranged to employee me so he could run the heater, go where he wants when he wants, etc.... it keeps the home running so he can live where he wants to live.
Some people are caregiver employees to parents who have the resources to pay them full time, even do add on's to a house so they can have their own living quarters, and still hire a health aide to come in a few times a week to give the home caregiver a break. So there is a wide range of how families use a caregiver contract and how an elder can use their resources for their senior years to stay out of NH.
I paid $25 an hour for home health to help me with my husband. We now live in Assisted Living, and the aids here get $10 an hour. At that rate, you should be getting at least $200 a DAY, not a month. Your siblings should be happy to just send $$ to you so that they don't have to be involved in her care!!
No you are not being greedy. I have been taking care of my mother who is 85. She has dementia. Accusing everyone of stealing. Does not like to bathe. Is a hoarder will hide the mail. Leaves the stove on. Loses everything. Cannot remember anything I say. Is hard of hearing and is addicted to lorazepam. Cannot drive but wants to. Cannot pass the written test. But wants to keep taking it. Trys to dress young. Tight pants and short dresses. And does nasty things like urinate in bottles in her room. The carpet needs to be ripped up and replaced. I have been her care taker for 5 years now. My brothers a contractor and firefighter. Do nothing. They know she likes to eat. But never take her out. Now they inform me they want me to get a loan on the house and me pay on it. My boyfriend lives here too. He repairs everything around here. He loves my mom she adores him because he brings her goodys all the time. And she loves men. Since she loses absolutely everything. The money he gives me I pay the bills and buy food. My brothers want money to fix the house and put some in het account. And my older brother wants about 10 thousand for himself. My moms house is paid for. I dont want to borrow a dime. My mother cannot live by herself or cook or do anything but get a yogurt and watch tv. She has heater on constantly. Recently I got power of attorney with my moms sister. My firefighter brother said he was get it and take over.. Well.. Not if I can help it. I expect a huge blow up soon with us. Also my neice. Said she would move in with her two spoiled rotton bad little boys. And take care of mom. I dont think so. This is MY mother and they cannot bully me or put me out. And my moms really dont want my neice moving here. I have little money and wish I could get 200 a week or any in home care. But probably cannot because she owns this house. And we are behind in taxes and catching that up. No help from my brothers nor do they visit. When they do they complain the whole time.
Agree with all responses above, assisted living in this area starts at $4000.00 a month. Take care of your health, it is very exhausting being a care giver, if family complains ask them to step up and provide assistance.
I took care of my mom until she passed Nov 2014. Siblings don't realize how hard it is. She lived with me and I drove her to every appointment and dialysis 3x a week. Our relationship suffered because of the financial strain I was under and there wasn't anything I could do. I am not sure where you live but I discovered that since my dad who is deceased, had retired from the military they would pay me to take care of mom. Mom would need to pay me and I would need a record of those payments, just need a record of the payment, not a record of what I did with the payment. I think I could have collected almost $1400 a month for mom. Its takes time, but if you have time its worth it. Unfortunately moms health was declining way too fast by the time I found out about the benefits. When I spoke with them they said I would be approved but would take an additional 90 days to get things going. That was Sept and mom died in Nov. I told them to just forget it. They don't pay retro so it was just paperwork that was taking up my time. And your being greedy, I hardly think so. You wouldn't believe some of the things I had to do to make ends meet. Nothing illegal or anything like that, just low paying jobs here and there. By the time I did some of the jobs I would end up making $1 an hour, but that was a $1 we didn't have before. And I'm disabled with spinal fusion, neck fusion, 5 hip replacements, quad bypass and 5 brothers and sisters who I no longer speak to who didn't care much about our mom or me... Its hard but you cant force them to pay it. God Bless you..
DITTO to all responses. Siblings don't believe or are clueless as to what 24/7 caregiving is -- giving up your Life, income, future income=Social Security and MOST of ALL "YOUR" LIFE and neglect of yourself & family. I would suggest calling 3 home health agencies and get a written quote from them, (they charge MORE than $20/hr depending on where you live. Then mail a copy to siblings. Then write a list of everything you do, everyday, for a month. If you do not have a Durable AND Healthcare POA (power of attorneys) a Will, and End of Life Decisions. You need to them now! I had them all and even though the Will shows me as the executor I still can't process checks (for estate purposes) ...by NC state law without "permission" from the courts. Save yourself some extra hardship by doing this now. Also, if you thing siblings are greedy now, just wait until precious mom passes on to heaven. They'll be very impatient, wanting their share even though I'm dealing . My hat goes off to you. I couldn't take care of her alone
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
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APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
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APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
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If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
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This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Do what you have to do to take care of yourself and your mom and don't worry about what any sibling thinks. Yes, be sure you consult an elder care attorney in regard to a contract to protect yourself. I can also tell you that through Medicaid, in New York anyway, they allow for rent to be paid to the primary caregiver who is providing the shelter, food, etc. So, I hope that reinforces that you are absolutely entitled and you are in no way greedy. You are a rock star for being a caregiver to your mom. Take care of yourself.
You did not mention your age. However, if you are leaving your job to be a caregiver, finding work after your caregiving ends could be very difficult. Employers understand taking break to have a baby, but they don't see caregiving in the same positive way.
Your wages as a caregiver must be reported to SS, especially if they are close to what you earned in your former employment. Please make sure that your pay period and who willl write your paycheck is well understood by all. Afterall, you are working and should be paid in a timely manner.
If your siblings are contentious, then you might consider getting a time clock that you would use to punch in every morning and out every night. Also during emergencies at night. Also keep accurate records of every penny you spend while you are a caregiver. Be as responsible as if you were employed by a business or company.
You need to factor in paying for respite care. If you don't have regular breaks from caregiving, you will burn out. Factor the respite care into the household expenses. Of course giver your siblings the opportunity to provide respite care regularly. A backup plan if you can't work or are ill is a must.
They have no idea what 24/7 care entails. Invite them ti come out and care for her 1 week while you take a much needed rest.
Also you can call various care agencies and ask them what 24/7 live in would cost.
Caregiving is a life changing event, from the smallest level of change where you have to stop by your dads house and drive him to his doc appointments, and to his weekly meeting to visit friends or for whatever that might take a day out of every week, to full care of a parent in your home, on any level it will change your life. Caregiving has driven many people to financial ruin as well, or even prevented them from building on their own retirement.
I had to shut down a business I started that was doing well to take care of my parent who is disabled, needs 4 to 6 hours of care each day, not counting if he gets sick.
As an employee, you will have to pay income tax, I'd recommend you take that seriously and a good tax service can help you with that for a small fee, it's worth it. I personally work a lot of hours and have a lot of expense for my parent care that I do not get paid for because the funds aren't there, but I keep out of a financial hole by what I do make. People can get paid up to 12.00 an hour in their home for taking care of a loved one, that hourly pay is based on Medicaid boundaries depending on the state you live in. You can also be reimbursed for mileage when you pick up prescriptions, do their shopping, take them to doc appointments, or anything they insist on where you must use your vehicle to drive them. You can also be reimbursed for utilities used. My parent keeps an electric heater running 24/7 year round, and has bedding to wash almost every day, it adds up fast when you're on a limited income. Basically for my situation, my parent wanted to live at a certain level I could not provide financially, so he arranged to employee me so he could run the heater, go where he wants when he wants, etc.... it keeps the home running so he can live where he wants to live.
Some people are caregiver employees to parents who have the resources to pay them full time, even do add on's to a house so they can have their own living quarters, and still hire a health aide to come in a few times a week to give the home caregiver a break. So there is a wide range of how families use a caregiver contract and how an elder can use their resources for their senior years to stay out of NH.