Well my mom is in snf rehab and her husband passed last month, they are keeping her past 21 days to progress more, however, I have been low/no contact for months, I'm poa and health care proxy so I handle light phone calls, my sibling well he's a toxic narc, he has my mother paying all his bills because he does house checks on her house etc ., that's fine and dandy, but he and I are done with each other to much infighting and he has an addiction to not work and I believe he is a scammer and he gets it from my mother, long story but she and I can't and never really bonded, anyway a while back I had her and her husband do a life estate, mostly because he has six kids from 3 different marriages and none spoke to him expect for holidays,the house was originally mother's and she added spouse to deed, it was a concern for her I was caregiving and living with them at the time because my mother was very sick and we did not know what direction she was going with hospice, anyway she wanted the life estate and husband agreed, no coherency on my part at all this was over two years ago, well since my brother is a shady guy they did not want to add his name to the deed in case there were judgements or liens against him particularly the IRS as he is behind, so skipping forward my mother is terribly annoyed with me that I will not move back in with her, I have my own life now and I care take her dog and I live one hour away, I have job interviews coming up and need to prepare for my retirement, so also learned her house needs a complete new roof, she has no liquid money and brother wants her to take a hefty loan out he also false promises hell move in and get one of his girlfriends to help with her care, the next day he flies out of town and forgets what he said, I cannot take this bs anymore and to top it off my mother asked me to remove myself from the deed give my share back to her I guess she feels better cutting me off, this is the second time she used this threat or whatever, she only has two more years left for Medicaid look bac (the house paid off ) if I sign over deed this she won't qualify if she needs it on the future, also I really never want to see them again, I can do it all e-sign, I know the house is going to get neglected because they won't dare sell it, so let chips fall and have the courts handle it thru probate when the time comes? I seriously can't do this anymore. Sorry so long thanks for reading
- couple of years ago mom placed her home (in her name only) into a Life Estate w/you & her husband as remainderman for the LE, right?
- & as you mentioned, “only 2 more years on a Medicaid look-back”, I’m guessing LE was done specifically to protect her home from Estate Recovery should she end up filing for LTC Medicaid. As for her State, LE if done before 5 yr lookback period can qualify for this. This is what happened?
If this is what was done, & was recorded properly, it will - in my not an attorney opinion - not be easy to get yourself removed from the LE. You are considered a remainderman for her LE and likely exists a value as to your future ownership. But figuring out the $ amount is not simple as it uses actuarial tables based on mom’s age along with property values. & as the other remainderman has died (her husband), how the LE reads for death of 1 of the remainderman as to how his share is passed will change your % future share. It’s complicated & not a DIY. It’s atty work.
I’d suggest that you make your own appointment with the law firm that did the LE to clarify exactly 1. what happens now that her hubs is dead as to his own Estates standing for the LE. Like if he predeceases both you and your mom, does he disappear as a remainderman OR does his share now become part of his Estate as per his will. If it’s this, it’s likely to be a hot mess as he has 6 kids as potential heirs to his share of the LE.; 2. just when 5 yr mark will happen for Medicaid; 3. what happens if mom runs out of $ to pay for her to stay in the NH (once her paid by health insurance rehab ends and she has to private pay to stay in the NH) before the full 5 yr mark is hit. Like is entire house value viewed as gifting?; 4 Will this attorney deal with your mom’s filing for LTC Medicaid if that ends up being what’s needed. 5. Is this atty experience in dealing with LTC Medicaid application when “gifting” of assets has happened? 5b. What is the transfer penalty divisor for your State 6. If you decide to remove yourself from the LE, does it require the life tenant/grantors consent and signature as well? Is there a taxable event by your doing this? And what will be the cost for the law form to do what’s needed for all this?
To me, you want to know these answers b4 you consider removing yourself from the LE. Personally I would not change anything just yet, you are still her POA, it gives you some degree of leverage to be able to deal w/finances & assets on her behalf should she need to sell home to pay for her care.
So as her POA, any idea of how much $ your mom has in savings or investments she can use to private pay for care? Is she possibly getting $ from deceased hubs? Average stay in a NH is 2-2.5 years. I’d be real concerned that rehab will end and that she realistically will not be able to return home to live there on her own. Does she have the $ to private pay for 2-3 years?
If she has given $ to worthless son, since Summer of 2021, she will be ineligible to get LTC Medicaid. That Medicaid program does a real deep lookback and hard to cover up gifting. If bro has gotten $ from her, it will surface.
If you find bro has been given huge amounts of $ from mom & she really doesn’t have more than a few months to be able to private pay and she is impossible to deal rationally with, then you can get the atty to do the paperwork to remove yourself as POA & LE remainderman. If it all become a clusterF for her and bro, it was of their making. I think you will find knowing more precisely about her situation will enable you to do whatever necessary and be able not to not let it eat away on your emotion's for years. These are big decisions and you want to be able to be objective and rational about your actions.
Your Mom cannot make you take your name off the deed, so I wouldn't do it. But maybe consider resigning your PoA then reporting your brother for financial abuse if you get any sense that this is happening.
Please continue the no-contact with your Mom. If you're staying involved in hopes of any inheritance, it may not be worth all that drama and stress and there may not be anything left by time she passes.