Thank you all for your helpful previous responses regarding my dad who was refusing food, liquids & meds and was in psych facility where their plan was to transfer him to SNF temporarily. He ended up being dehydrated there & had to go to ER for pneumonia as well from not moving enough. He has been in the hospital since and combative with refusing an IV, still doesn't have a good appetite but they are trying to discharge him and pressure me into agreeing to Board & Care Home placement since his insurance denied SNF placement. He doesn't sleep well, has dementia & mental issues where he would require 24/7 care, also has mobility issues and needs help using a walker. The social workers claim it is a challenge to try to find SNF or BCH that will accept him because of his mental needs. They are trying to get me to agreee to any BCH that will accept him without even checking it out first or taking into consideration income and my mom's expenses who relies on his income as well. I feel rushed trying to make a fast decision with such financial and emotional
impact. I wish we could take him in at home but will put too much stress on my mom who also has dementia. The dehydration will probably be an issue again at a BCH as well as needing a hospital type bed with rails that he can't fall out as he had trouble falling out of bed at home and felt most comfortable using a floor mattress without rails.
My mom was on hospice at the time and it was they that recommended the board and care facility. Try calling a hospice, see if dad is eligible, and if they have any recommendations on facilities.
You are in such a tough position. You may need to consult to find a way to get Dad on medicaid while preserving Mom's assets for her own needs. So sorry. I cannot myself imagine what I would do in your position. Nor even in the position of facility trying to place him. I agree that B&C won't work. He is too mentally ill to be able to be in a small setting with say 5 or 6 other seniors, who lives would be thrown into chaos that is non stop.
To be honest, with his mental state I doubt if a Board and Care would take him. From what I understand they are small taking only a few people. I doubt if the staff could deal with Dad's mental problems.
What did the Psych eval do for him in way of medication? Just my opinion here. You are not going to get him placed anywhere if he has aggressive tendencies. He may need to go to a Psych hospital to have medication adjusted if he can become combative.
To protect Mom you need to talk to a lawyer well versed in Medicaid. Any assets they have, other than SS and pensions, will be split with Dads being spent down for his care in a LTC facility. Once he starts running out of money, you will need to apply for Medicaid. Better u apply than rely on the NH to apply and follow thru. Once he is excepted by Medicaid, it will then be determined how much of his SS/pension will be used for Mom to be able to live. She will remain in the home and be allowed a car. She will not become impoverished. If this is the way you want to go. If not, Mom still needs to be protected so a lawyer is a good idea.
The denial said he was incapable of the rehab but as of the last few days he has been cooperating with physical therapy in the hospital which should help support an appeal? He could barely take a few steps to get in my car without assistance (when I tried picking him up) so he definitely needs help walking. There was one BCH who agreed to take him but he was acting fine when they did an assessment to see if they could accept him so they didn't witness this kind of behavior. He was on Abilify in the Psych Facility, then got switched to 25 mg of Quetiapine in the hospital.
Get hospital social worker to assist with Medicaid application. You will have to spend 50% of parents assets by paying for dad's needs and care. Medicaid will not leave mom impoverished.
He needs rehab using a walker to help him walk and also has advanced dementia, schizophrenic related delirium which makes him need help with daily activities. They told me he was recently cooperating with physical therapy in the hospital. I just got it in the mail & it states "Currently you are not able to participate in therapy due to confusion." & Also "No daily skilled nursing needs noted" which is inaccurate on the doctor's part?! It makes no mention of his mental needs. He is still in the hospital and only because I tried picking him up after being pressured by them for discharge to either a BCH or to try to take care of him at home in the meantime until we figure out finances for BCH but it was not safe for me to take him - he was not mentally stable to go home even though they claim he is always pleasant (which is his true personality but not with this psychosis). He had to be escorted out with security to a nurse to the car since he was yelling about being forced to leave then started pounding on my car window and would not be compliant. Now that they hopefully see it won't be safe going home, they are probably going to push the BCH again but I think he needs somewhere that can also handle his mental needs. This is the behavior he had at home to begin with which led us to get an ER Psych Evaluation where he was transferred from to Psych Facility then back to ER again which is why he is in hospital.
What to do now?
If it's your decision, and you don't agree that the placement meets your father's properly assessed care needs, then don't agree to it and state your reasons. Be a wall!
Is he still at the hospital for now?