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My stepmom tried hiding our dad's medical records from us then denied she knew his cancer was curable and knew about his cancer treatments even though she had an online hospital portal account.


She didn't even tell our dad his cancer was curable and he had dr appointments to help cure him. Then when we finally got his records and showed them to our dad told him she was lying about everything. She had told everyone his cancer had spread and there was no hope. Which was a lie she denied knowing his cancer was curable or even knew about his appointments. I called her a liar told dad she was trying to kill him and she's tried three or four other times in the past. Dad was crying he said no one told him anything . I told him his wife her son and girlfriend all knew the truth. She has made him lay in his bed , will not allow him a wheel chair , she has not changed his sheets in over a month he has bed soars , she denied us from seeing our dad. She left hospice to believe he didn't want treatments because she knew if he didn't go to them he would die. Dad ask me to reschedule his appointments or he was gonna die. That evening she talked him into signing paperwork with hospice to not give us any information and told our dad that hospice was taking over and they were gonna see that he got to his appointments. She told him they would bring a wheelchair that day that was a lie. I took him two wheelchairs she put them outside. My sister changed his bed sheets my stepmom said she couldn't sleep on them they were too hot. My dad was freezing. They starve him they steal his meds. My stepmom even sent his food back to meals on wheels. Told them he could not eat it or was no good. We have called adult protective services numerous times but yet they have done nothing we've showed them proof that she is neglecting him abusing him starving him trying to kill him. I mean what do you call it? But yet they've done nothing to protect our dad or even put her in jail. We called hospice they wouldn't give us information. Because she talked dad into signing a statement not to tell us anything right after he nearly begged me to reschedule his Dr appointments. What do you do whenever the people that are suppose to protect the elderly don't?


The APS even told her oh well we know you we don't even need to open a case . The second time told her to tell us if we called them again they would put our dad somewhere and no one would see him. So the law if these people won't help you think the law is going to. Now my dad will be dead in a couple days thanks to the ones that helped my stepmom get by with murder!


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I am sorry, there are way too many holes in the story, I don't know where to begin.

First place, only Dad's doctor can put him on Hospice. The doctor wouldn't do that knowing the cancer is curable.

Hospice does not take patients to their doctor appointments. That is not what Hospice is all about.

The list goes on and on.
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How about calling the cops to do a WELFARE CHECK?

Organize important facts, highlight the situation to them and why you're concerned, suggest what they look for.

Present facts. Stay calm. You want the cops to hear a rational, concerned daughter, not a stepdaughter who hates her stepmother and who sounds like she's off the rails. You want them to hear your concerns...not a rambling rant.

Different situation than yours, but I called for a welfare check on my estranged father. I received an earful after the cop went over.
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If dad is competent he can disenroll himself from hospice.

You then call 911 and have him taken to his preferred hospital for treatment.
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You do not say anything about Dad having any Dementia.

When a person is competent to make their own decisions Doctors talk to them. They give them the good and the bad. It boggles me that the wife would be told and not your father. POAs are usually not in effect unless incompetent. Even if immediate if competent Doctors should have talked to Dad about options. Hospice can't come in without a Doctor's order.

Hospice does not see you get to appts. You do not see a doctor or go to the hospital. It comfort care for the dying. The only thing I can see you doing is transporting him to a Hospital and have him checked out. If he is able, he can call them himself.
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It sound like the children don't like their step mother. If there is evidence that step mother is neglecting and endangering the well being of her husband, the children should denounce her to the authorities to initiate a police investigation.
That's is the way to go.
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JoAnn29 Apr 2022
APS was the way to go which they did. Thats all the police would do hand it over to APS.
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I'm very sorry for the situation that exists with your dear father. Unless he suffers from advanced dementia in addition to his other health issues, however, can he not speak for himself with regard to all of these things you are alleging? Why would he sign a 'gag' statement preventing you from knowing any information about his health status? Why would he turn down a wheelchair from hospice, or food from Meals on Wheels? If hospice is on board and thought his wife was trying to kill him, they'd intervene, as well as APS would, by opening a case immediately.

There seems to be a lot of missing information in this story, unfortunately. If you feel your father 'will be dead in a couple days', I'd barge into that house and carry him out the front door MYSELF and rush him to the hospital, honestly. Set your stepmother down on a chair and tell her not to move a muscle or you will call the police on the spot and have her carted off to jail.

If that doesn't sound like a good idea, call the police this time instead of APS and tell them what you told us: that your stepmom is trying to kill your father. See what they have to say about the entire situation.

Best of luck.
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Too bad you couldn't kidnap dad.
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lealonnie1 Apr 2022
That's what I'd do! Enough of this nonsense, rush in there and remove the man and get him to the hospital. Unless the SM is 400 lbs of pure muscle and barricading the door, I'd kick the damn thing in and remove my father long ago.
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