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I thought I would start a new thread. Has anyone had experience with non-surgical treatment of this condition from diverticulitis?
Mom does not want surgery, which I support since surgery would be a bowel resection, be painful, and possibly end with a colostomy if she survived the anesthesia.

Right now the providers are all playing hot potato which is infuriating! PCP referred her to Urologist. Urologist looked at the dx and they won’t even see her. Go to a colorectal surgeon, they said. But she doesn’t want surgery she wants non-surgical palliative support. So does this mean hospice? But doesn’t her PCP need to certify her as terminal? No one seems to know what to do with her.
Has anyone had experience with hospice continuing antibiotics and providing a catheter for comfort? I have a feeling she won’t want stool softeners if it will give her chronic diarrhea again. Her social life is her top priority.

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It has been a 48-hour roller coaster. Monday PCP questioned whether she has an infection at all. Though she agreed that a major surgery is a bad idea, she also insisted that a PCP office was not set up to manage her care for this condition. She maintained that colorectal surgery should be met with to discuss options and they would know how to non-surgically manage the condition. I asked, if we were only going to manage her condition palliatively why not go straight to hospice? She acted almost offended that I would suggest this and of course my mom followed suit and said she wanted to meet the other doctor. I asked for at least anti-nausea meds and my mom said multiple times that her nausea wasn’t that bad. Dr said she would give a referral to palliative (not hospice) care. I left very frustrated. I called colorectal. They looked at her test results and said an appt was pointless bc she would not be approved for surgery and there was no treatment besides surgery. I called the palliative office and they said she would need to be an oncology patient to be treated. Hot potato! No one wants to care for her. I called hospice for an independent evaluation which I hope to have completed by Friday. She spent almost all day Tuesday in bed because she was dizzy and tired. And I just found out her weight dropped from 112 to 104 in the last month! It seems like I’m being told that I’m overreacting AND that no one wants to give her support until we are in a crisis that only surgery will solve, but she can’t have surgery. She’s not doing terribly, but she kind of is, but everyone is in denial, until they look at the facts. Make it make sense!
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I understand the difficulty of persuading your mom. Agreeing to receive palliative care and then hospice care was not easy for my mom.
Several years ago, when Mom was old (in her late 80s) but still in relatively good health, she asked two of my three siblings and me whether we'd help her with an assisted death if the time came for that, specifically, whether we'd be willing to put a pillow over her face. By the time her health was poor, Mom had forgotten all about that.
She eventually did agree to hospice, and she received hospice care for almost 2 years. I don't think Mom or my siblings and I had any regrets once she was on hospice.
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My husband is in hospice care for dementia. While in their care, he developed aspiration pneumonia and was given antibiotics, which cured the pneumonia. The hospice team asked my permission for the antibiotics before they gave them to him. I could have said no, but since he is still engaging with friends at his memory care facility and enjoying every day, and since he has little pain (from arthritis), I allowed it. That was about a year ago.

Hospice is not only for those who only have 6 months to live. It's impossible to predict how long a patient has left. My husband was admitted to hospice care because his dementia is a steady downward slide. Dementia patients are terminal. We just don't know when the end will come, especially when they have other issues as my husband does. He has been in hospice care for almost 2 years. My mother was in hospice care for 2.5 years. My dad had hospice for 8 months (cancer) and had a catheter most of that time.

Call a hospice company yourself. Ask for an evaluation. Their doctor could admit mom (I think, but all situations are different). You could ask more than one hospice company if that seems appropriate. If you think your mom needs hospice, be her advocate. If her PCP has dropped the ball, use this workaround or some other. Due to the good advice here, you're now well informed and can move forward with some confidence that you'll know the right questions to ask. Good luck!
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ShirleyDot Aug 2, 2026
Yes, I'm a big believer in hospice helping people live their best lives in the time they have left! I've had very good experiences (with 3 family members at this point) and I know that when you feel more comfortable and well-cared for, it makes a difference for everyone, including family members. Unfortunately, my mom is pretty bad at making decisions, especially hard ones, and she is waffling. She couldn't even help me when I was getting married because it made her too nervous to be asked to do or help with anything.

She doesn't want to die, doesn't want to be in pain, doesn't want to move out of AL. I can only help her with 2 of the 3! And that would be starting hospice. I'm hoping her PCP will reinforce what I already see as her choices. I'm also already talking to a hospice provider about doing an evaluation this week in person.

Now the boyfriend is weighing in and I don't think he is going to be helpful. I'll be talking to his daughter shortly and hope she'll be an ally, or at least encourage her father to stay out of the decision-making. Mom always listens to the man, even if the man doesn't know what he is talking about!
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Pallitive care and Hospice are two different things.

At 91, I too would wonder If surgery was warrented. Lets hope the antibiotics clear up the infection.
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ShirleyDot Aug 2, 2026
They can't clear the infection because her bladder is constantly being contaminated with stool, unfortunately. I think the question is whether surgery even makes sense or would just be subjecting her to more pain and suffering with the same outcome.
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She is 91. She had a hard time recovering from her pacemaker surgery 2 years ago. She won't do rehab exercises or anything that is uncomfortable, so her leg strength is minimal and getting worse. She uses a walker and if she is on the floor (looking for shoes under the bed, for example) she isn't strong enough to get back up.

I agree that she needs palliative care through hospice since I don't think her PCP is able to provide it and eventually the antibiotics will stop working. She is in no pain, just a little nauseous and a little uncomfortable from the pressure in her bladder from the gas. She has also started to leak stool (she's already in depends for bladder incontinence), though she is unsure which hole it is coming from since she doesn't know it is happening until she pulls down her briefs. I'm convinced that any surgery at this point would end with her permanently bed bound and in a nursing home. She said if she gets to be in unbearable pain, she wants to be "put down." Hospice seems like the best path if they will accept her.
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How old is Mom?

My MIL went thru this operation when she was 70. They took out 10 inches of her intestine and I think she used a bag for 8 months while she healed. The worst she said was when she went back to going on her own. If your Mom does nothing, she could become septic and that may kill her. I would think she is in a lot of pain, my MIL was. In the end, its her decision. I don't think palliative care will be enough, she may need Hospice care. Her PCP can write an order or call Hospice, they have a doctor affiliated with them.
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ShirleyDot Aug 1, 2026
Answered below. Thought I was answering you in thread!
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