Hello, we are moving mom from a Nursing Home to live with us (husband & I). Nursing Home says she needs to have an aide overnight to check her every 2 hours and change her diaper so she doesn't develop skin issues. She usually sleeps through the night (9pm - 6am).
My question, is it possible to find awesome diapers so I don't need to be up? I understand that I will need to change her and bathe her every morning.
The fact that you're hoping you can skip the night diapers is but one indication that you don't see what is coming. She was placed in NH for a reason, and one of them was overnight care.
You will not be able to work from home AND take care of Mom at the same time. Your work or your mom will suffer. Again, multiple people on here thought they could do that too. Most have to handle several work interruptions daily to tend to their elder. Any sort of schedule you have now will be out the window.
Can you lift her every day?
You will need an aide, if not for this reason then another. Are you okay with workers (strangers) in your house overnight?
Can you handle multiple toilet visits, butt wiping, diarrhea, bed urine, and getting her undressed/dressed? Multiple times a day, and night too?
Are your toilets, bathtubs, etc handicap-ready? Will her bed have safety rails? Are meds stored safely?
There will be no more dinners out, no vacations. Friends and family will say to call if you need anything, but you'll find almost none will volunteer to stay with her if you want or need time out.
When do you plan to get things like errands and grocery shopping done?
If she worsens, how will you handle the medical needs? If she keeps you up at night, how do you plan to handle work the next day?
If you get sick, injured, or compromised, what plan do you have for her care?
Finally, consider she is set in a routine at NH. Taking her out of that and into a whole new one is a rough transition on an elder. If you end up having to place her again, that's another round of transition and newness she'll have to adjust to.
I've said before that people think they can "love their way" through caregiving. That love will be enough to sustain their energy and will. It isn't. Most on here loved their elder dearly and wanted to care for them. They had to place their elder to save both of their lives.
If you're bound and determined to move her to your house, certainly no one can stop you. Just go into this with open eyes and KNOW what you are taking on.
Have you asked for an independent evaluation of what her care needs are?
So, if she wets half hour after falling asleep then you have a good chance of skin problems.
You can check for the 1st week and see if 1 time a night would be sufficient and about what time it is needed. If she is completely bedridden she needs to have her position shifted every two hours as well.
I would not let the nursing home dictate what you need to do but, I would listen to their advice on how to keep her skin as healthy as possible. Once sores develop they are challenging to heal and can cause other issues.
Good luck with having her home.
Are you intending to try to care for a bedridden person with dementia on your own?