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Right now I currently live with him, he views me as family. I have been taking care of him for 4 and a half years now. I'm recently unemployed. We are wondering if there are any ways to get me paid for helping him. He is a veteran, and they say not if he doesn't have Medicaid.

You may want to ask his VA social worker or local VA Caregiver Support Coordinator to screen him for in-home services; eligibility and hours depend on his VA enrollment, health needs and program rules. VA Aid and Attendance is an increased pension benefit for eligible veterans (and some survivors) who need help with daily activities, but it is not automatic caregiver pay. If he qualifies, the benefit is paid to him and may be used toward care, including a private arrangement where allowed. If he pays you directly, put the duties and rate in writing and get tax guidance so both of you are protected.
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Reply to medicaretools
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There are two questions: 1) Does he have the money to pay for care, either his own funds or through a VET or other government scheme; and 2) Could you get the payment.

If he has the money, sure he can pay you. If it’s a government scheme, there will probably be provisions about how the care can be provided (eg by you?), how many hours, and how much payment. That’s probably going to be the problem for you.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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IHSS?
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Be aware that at some point his home may need to be sold to pay for him to move to a care facility, so keep working to have savings should you need to leave and rent or buy your own home again.

Also don't count on inheriting his home, even if he promises you. This forum regularly hears from people on the verge of homelessness because of these kinds of situations, Usually it's adult children who gave up their homes and jobs and spent years as unpaid and often unappreciated care servants to their parent or parents. The house needs to be sold or goes to someone else in the will or there is no will so the law dictates which relatives get it. You would be in an even worse situation with even less standing as an unrelated friend.

If you are living there for free without a job, you could be subject to accusations by family members that you are taking advantage of him. It doesn't matter whether it's true or not, there can be an appearance of impropriety. And to be honest, getting him a drink or helping with dinner, as you described it below, won't sound very convincing.

I'm not saying any of this to criticize you and your relationship/situation, just to stress that you need to do your best to get another job to protect your financial future. At 55, hopefully you have several decades left!
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Reply to MG8522
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Does he have Aids and Attendance? If not, he needs to apply for it. If he receives it, he can pay you out of that. But I would say, better you get a job. He may be able to get an aide thru the VA.

Social Security only goes back 35 years when you apply for it. At 55, you have 12 years before you can collect 100% of your SS. If you don't work those 12 yrs, then you only get credit for 23 yrs. You should not give up your future for a friend. If he needs 24/7 care he needs to be in an Assisted living if he can afford it or LTC.
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CaringWifeAZ Aug 30, 2026
Yes, Rockey, please listen to JoAnn. I didn't even think about my social security credits until I hit 62. Then, it becomes real serious! You need to factor that in!
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He could pay you out of his own income and savings. Be sure to have a contract for this, and pay the required taxes, either under a W-2 or a 1099. If he has been fine on his own while you were working, then there probably isn't justification for you to be paid by a government program just because you now need an income.
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It sounds like you are living with a friend and helping him out as a friend would, probably in return for living rent free.
If he can afford to pay you to be a paid live-in care attendant, then you can be paid.
He can ask the VA if there are any services he is eligible for, which would include paying for an in-home aide. You say he already gets medication and medical help. What kind of medical help?
I don't have knowledge of what the VA provides.

You shouldn't have any expectation that you can start getting paid for helping out your friend just because you lost your job and need a new source of income. It's not as easy as that. If there is a program through the VA which will pay you, you might be paid a few hours a week for making dinner and doing small tasks for him - it's not a full time job with full time pay.

The stories you hear of people getting paid to take care of a family member or friend, as I am, are taking care of someone who would otherwise need to be in a skilled nursing facility because they can not live on their own and take care of their own basic needs, like toileting and feeding and mobility, and may even require special medical equipment. It's low pay for hard work. For those who qualify for Medicaid, it is more cost effective (for Medicaid) to pay a family member to care for them in their home than to pay for a long term stay in a skilled nursing facility.
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I will be 55 on September 27th, and he is 72. He has no cognitive issues. He has heart issues, lung issues, balance issues, cancer in his right kidney, growing slowly. He is a veteran and he gets a check every month, because he is retired. I don't think he gets a pension check. He gets benefits at the VA, like medication help and medical help. He has told me he doesn't qualify for medicaid. I have lived with him for 4 almost 5 years now. When he can not do a task I do it for him. Like get him drink, or help with dinner. I just really want to know if there are any options.
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Geaton777 Aug 30, 2026
If he makes too much for Medicaid then he can consider a QIT (Qualified Income Trust) or Miller Trust, where his "excess" funds can go so that what's left will allow him to qualify for Medicaid. Then when he passes the funds in the trust go to Medicaid to cover the cost of his care.
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How old are you? How old is he?

What are his health or cognitive issues?

Why can’t he pay you?
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