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Glonorth. I feel for you as im in the same situation. My mum is only 76yrs old and ive been living here since I lost my job 5years ago in that time i noticed something was wrong with her i finally after a long stressful battle had her diagnosed with "vascular dementia".

I know what you mean about your coffee in the morning i too have to wait up with droopy eyes until shes safe in bed at night. She goes to bed at 1am then I try and switch off and watch TV usually CSI? I go to bed at 2am and try and sleep am taking stilnoct to sleep which is fine as long as she dosnt get up at night to go down stairs and make tea and wake me up. Then just like you i get up early just to have time to myself? lucky so far she dosnt get up until 12pm i have started to get palpatations when i hear her getting up as shes always in a mood and ready to bitch and moan about something?

I recently had a ministroke from the stress of the last 5yrs and have decided to leave as soon as i can. I know she has an illness but the emotional abuse is too much for me and her constant threats of kicking me out on the street are although "rantings" they scare me. Its so very hard when its "their" home.

I just want you to know you are not alone and all I have to say is you need a break and timeout or your health will get serious look at me a ministroke at 48yrs old this is no longer funny.
Ask yourself "what if I got ill?" who would look after her then? I have a very selfish family but like my doc said if anything happened to me the family would have to cope! you are doing too much on your own and you need to STOP and think about YOU. I know if i stay here and look after mum with no help from family I will end up "hating her" and I dont want that to happen. If she was just ill and not such an unhappy ungrateful person who does nothing but moan then it would be different.
I have hardened up the last few months because im important too and my health is just as important as hers. My mum will not go into a NH she wont even go to respite well then my brother can look after her he lives down the road.
I will leave but come and visit and helpout anyway i can BUT from a distance.

Try and get help and a break for once in your life think about what you want to do before you end up ill like me and close to a breakdown you will see here that theres always a point when enough is enough and we just cant mentally cope anymore.
My mum would not want me to be unhappy and depressed the dementia took my old mum and left behind a "monster".

Hugs this is the toughest job youll ever do! XX
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yes a mild sleeping pill. thats what the doc did for my mom....my mom falls asleep by 630 and then i go to bible study,,,, it really helps... you need the fellwoship
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