My precious mom (85) is refusing to eat or drink. Any advice?

Sharadale, I am so pleased that you talked to your SIL and, since she is a Hospice nurse, you feel better! She thinks your mom has the same thing my hubby and I do, bad "sleep hygiene." That's what the doctors call having your days and nights mixed up now. Like you mom, when we know we have to get up at a certain time and prepare for an appointment, we are able to do it. When we are enjoying reading or talking about politics or something, we see no reason for the clock to tell us when to go to bed. Then, we sleep in. I am delighted about your mom. It does sound as if you mom is in good health. As you said about yourself, she is in better health than I am! (mainly osteoarthritis) So, I'll tell you the same thing as I did last night. Relax and enjoy your mom. My heart and prayers are with you.

All, thank you for your answers. I have found that this web site has truly helped me. My precious mother passed away with grace on May 30. It was still a shock for me. Please keep my father, age 84, and myself in your prayers of comfort. I am here for anyone else dealing with any issues. Again, thank you.

jackjackjack, So very sorry for your loss.
It is quite a thing for someone to be able to say "precious mother", and "passed away with grace". You are sad, but you are also blessed.
Of course I will pray for you, and your elderly father.
Please allow your new caregiving family to support you through this difficult time, and let any of the caregivers on here know if you have any questions or need help.
Hugs.

jackjack so sorry for your loss. Please continue to post and let us know how you and your father are. ((((Hugs))))

Thank you. It is sooo hard. I see my mom in so many things I do, see or hear.

Well a little more investigating and I found she was not using any of her inhaler medicines! I take care of her pills but thought she had the inhaler under control! Not so much! So now I am taking car of that. Today we had a wonderful time. My granddaughter was here and being under two, she is a blast to have around! She spent some time outside and Mom came and sat on the porch somshe could watch the baby play

When we went in she climbed up on her lap to get books read. It was awesome to see them together.

I'm glad to hear everything is going well again. I must make mention of the inhalers though. As an asthmatic survivor of whooping cough, I can't stress enough how vital it is to keep up on your inhalants. I used to have a friend who since died, and he had COPD and asthma. He had more than just an inhaler, he also had a nebulizer for regular breathing treatments. He was a retired Army medic, and he actually recommended a nebulizer for me when I first started on inhalers. Inhalers are really just a rescue inhaler for emergencies, and they're really not meant to be a regular breathing treatment like the nebulizer. Inhalers are a quick an instant way of resolving an attack until you can get to your nebulizer for a breathing treatment. A fellow asthmatic let me in on a little secret on the pocket inhaler. She revealed that when I use my pocket inhaler, exhale all the air from your lungs. Put the inhaler in your mouth and take a deep breath, and while you're taking a breath, take one puff. When your lungs are fully inflated, hold your breath for a few seconds, like say 15 seconds if possible. It helps to be leaned over on a table or laying down if you get dizzy and lightheaded. After the few seconds, slowly exhale. Wait one minute before repeating the process. This works far better than rushing through several puffs during an emergency. I discovered that it lasts much longer than if I were to rush it along. I know that sometimes if you have an attack you may tend to panic, which can be normal. However, I don't know whether or not you know this little secret about how to use the inhaler the right way, but it took a friend who happens to be a fellow asthmatic who let me in on the little secret. I can now I'll pass that little secret to others so they can have their emergency inhaler be more infective during an emergency. Sometimes it helps to put the inhaler on the end of a chamber. You could put what you need inside the chamber, and it stays there. However, I wouldn't leave it for too long because it will settle inside the chamber. You can also get accessories such as a little rubber mask that goes over the mouthpiece. I have one called easivent. The mouthpiece is actually built around the human mouth, meaning it's oval rather than circular. It's more comfortable than a circular mouthpiece, and the little mask goes over your mouth and nose. What I like about the little mask and easivent chamber is that you can fold up the mask and put it inside the chamber because the top opens up to allow for that. However, I would rather leave everything in tact so that I don't have to fumble with it in the event of an emergency. I usually leave this particular item in tact by the bedside. It's also a very good idea to have an inhaler in every room. That way, during an emergency you can just go to the nearest inhaler depending on which room you're in. It saves you the stress of trying to find your inhaler in case you misplace it. It's also a good idea to have one in your purse or handbag when you commute away from home. A final tip would be to designate a specific spot where each inhaler is so you know where it is when it's needed. This rule should also be for the nebulizer. If you set up the nebulizer with the intent to leave it permanently in a specific spot, you can also designate specific seating for the patient. Let's say you set up the nebulizer on a special table. Now, designate a chair that's comfortable for the patient. Let others in the household including visitors know not to sit there because it needs to be available should the patient need it. This set up is designated for when the patient needs the nebulizer. It's actually better to go to the nebulizer for an actual breathing treatment when you feel and attack coming on than it is to have to just use the emergency pocket inhaler. The breathing treatments are longer than just your pocket inhaler because nebulizer medicine is a constant flow until the chamber is empty for the machine is turned off. Anytime you set up a nebulizer, that particular spot should be reserved for just the patient because you don't want someone sitting there in the event the patient needs to be there on the nebulizer. These are just some suggestions to help with treating the patient, having a good working strategy will help next time an attack happens, and if you can have a good working strategy to keep up on the regular breathing treatments, attacks will be less frequent, maybe none at all. You really don't want to be too long without a therapeutic amount of medicine in your system. If you are, you'll notice how attacks will worsen as the medicine runs out of your bloodstream. If you take albuterol, be very wary of the side effects such as it causing your heart to race increased pulse. One way I found to get around that is to first have some food on your stomach and take a slightly shorter treatment like site half a vial of albuterol in your nebulizing treatment. Eating something first such

Eating something first such as a sandwich or something light before a breathing treatment really helps me a lot, but it's not perfect

Hi Sharadale. I am glad you still find my feelings about what doctors call "poor sleep hygiene" being a possibility and not to worry so much about your mom sleeping too much in the mornings, but being more than receptive to ice cream socials with you after what should be bedtime. LOL When I told my doctor that both my hubby and I were retired and on the same "poor hygiene sleep" routine, I didn't see anything wrong with it. We had to get up early all of our working lives and were exhausted in the evenings, plus I always carried work home. If we want to stay up late reading a book and sleep in, it seems we should be able to do so now. When he began to tell me how unhealthy it was, I told him my husband was 88 and, and until the last two years, had taken no medication at all except an occasional aspirin. I think he finally gave up and finally decided to grant us our retired perks! I am thrilled to hear that your mom is doing so well. You painted such happy pictures of her with your granddaughter. I think your stress level has gone down quite a bit, too! I am so happy for you!