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Only one suggestion. Tell her she is going to the facility for respite care for a few weeks so you can take a break, or maybe go on vacation. She might be willing to go if she does not think it is for long-term. Once she is there the staff will have the opportunity to help her adjust. If her memory is as bad as you say it is she won't remember when two weeks are up.

Often times individuals with dementia do much better in a facility. They respond very well to routine. If the staff get her on a very regimented schedule she may very well start to thrive.

The fact that you are moving her when she is mid-stage, she has a good chance of making a good adjustment.

Let us know how it goes, good luck!
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MTL1974, thank you for your kind reply to my earlier response. After re-reading your original post, I'll add that it sounds like you and your brother have planned your mom's move well. And I think mid-stage Alzheimer's can be the best time for this move as I've heard and read that waiting until late-stage often makes the adjustment harder (although, thankfully, for my dad it wasn't). Regardless of how well the move is planned, I doubt there's any way to avoid being stressed, worried and nervous, but you really shouldn't feel guilty, as it sounds like this move is in your mom's best interest and, unless I've misunderstood your and your brother's intentions, you're both going to closely monitor her care and continue visiting her frequently -- she's a lucky mom. Best wishes.
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You are doing the right thing. Keep telling yourself "I am doing what is best for my mom". Your feelings are normal. Your feelings will pass in time. Please appreciate your brother. You are fortunate to have a sibling who is helping rather than ghosting or worse yet obstructing. As I write this, you have already moved her in. At this point, help her get oriented. Make frequent visits if possible. Find out about activities and possibly go to one or two with her. She may be confused for a time, be patient. Does the assisted living have a memory care unit attached. If it does, moving to there, which will be necessary sooner than you think, will be easier when it is time. Meanwhile, please take care of yourself. Go do something you enjoy. Indulge yourself. Massage, long walk, whatever gives you pleasure.
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My situation is different than yours but I still understand what you are going through. My wife starting showing signs of dementia when she was 60. She will be 71 in June 2019. When she had pneumonia and was hospitalized the doctors realized that she was unable to take care of herself.

All I learned from this is be very careful of the facilities that she is in. I moved my wife four time because I thought that where she was would take care of her. She is now in a residential facility that has the best care. Four patients with two aids 24/7. Unfortunately by putting your love one into a facility dose not relieve you of your responsibility. I visit my wife often every week; different days and different times of day. I don't visit because she does not always remember who I am, but because I remember who she is.
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