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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
"Transition" is the perfect word. In many situations we can't just hire someone and then bolt out the door the minute they arrive, leaving our parent alone with a stranger.
Can you arrange for the caregiver to come over for an hour? You, your mom, and the caregiver can have a cup of coffee, chat, and get to know eachother. At the end of the hour the caregiver leaves and gives you and your mom an opportunity to discuss having in-home help. Don't give your mom the idea that she can not like the caregiver and thus turn down in-home help. For instance, you may not want to say, "If you don't like her we can always find someone else." Don't give your mom an out. If, after meeting the caregiver, your mom says she doesn't like her then you can go on to Plan B but until that time talk up the caregiver, "Wasn't she accommodating to come over for an hour to meet you?" Or, "I really liked her, I thought she had a lot of personality." Be positive.
Once the initial meet-and-greet schedule the caregiver for just a few hours for her first shift. Be there when she gets there, ease your mom in, and then leave the house for a few hours. See how things go.
Help the caregiver succeed by giving her little hints or tips on your mom. If your mom likes to look at old photo albums let the caregiver know where they are. If your mom likes a particular dessert have some on hand for the caregiver to serve her. If your mom is chatty let the caregiver know so she can engage your mom. If your mom is more introverted let the caregiver know this as well so she doesn't talk your mom's ear off.
Your profile says that your mom has dementia. Unless it's in the early stage, I think I would have to insist on someone being with her at all times. Arguing, convincing and reasoning, doesn't often work with dementia.
Have you spent at least 24 hours with her lately? Could you arrange to do that so you can see how she is functioning? Most of the time, seniors over estimate their abilities. They claim they can cook, but they have forgotten how to and they just eat what is in the fridge, but that could be spoiled. They forget that food spoils and eat it anyway. They lose the ability to know the dangers of letting a stranger in the door or even give out personal info on the phone. There are many more dangers than leaving the stove on, though that is a huge risk too. They are not able to see how much help they need. It's doubtful you can convince her of that. Sometimes, it just has to happen.
People with dementia are often stubborn and do not have the ability to recognize the need for protection and care. However, that's not reason to let it go, IMO. They are ways to get them care. It's just a matter of which route you have to go. You can just wait it out. Sadly, that usually means a crisis in the home. That sometimes resolves it, because the person is injured and has to go to the hospital. Once there, it's obvious they cannot go home alone, so they are placed in a facility.
It depends on her level of dementia. Is it dangerous for her to be alone? I'm also struggling with my parents on the same issue but we are deadlocked in the no mans land of legal competence and the reality of things going down hill. I can't force the issue at this point.
I did hire a home care company And had them visit the folks. It went well. I fibbed that she was an old girlfriend who had started the business etc. But mom and dad said they're fine but glad to know these folks are out there when they need help.
I can't force it but at least these folks are on deck and ready to launch at the next crisis.
You have two choices. You wait for her to fall and get hurt or possibly start a fire in the kitchen OR You initiate a Guardianship petition through surrogate's court. P.S. If she is still driving, move the car to your house. Been there. Done that.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Can you arrange for the caregiver to come over for an hour? You, your mom, and the caregiver can have a cup of coffee, chat, and get to know eachother. At the end of the hour the caregiver leaves and gives you and your mom an opportunity to discuss having in-home help. Don't give your mom the idea that she can not like the caregiver and thus turn down in-home help. For instance, you may not want to say, "If you don't like her we can always find someone else." Don't give your mom an out. If, after meeting the caregiver, your mom says she doesn't like her then you can go on to Plan B but until that time talk up the caregiver, "Wasn't she accommodating to come over for an hour to meet you?" Or, "I really liked her, I thought she had a lot of personality." Be positive.
Once the initial meet-and-greet schedule the caregiver for just a few hours for her first shift. Be there when she gets there, ease your mom in, and then leave the house for a few hours. See how things go.
Help the caregiver succeed by giving her little hints or tips on your mom. If your mom likes to look at old photo albums let the caregiver know where they are. If your mom likes a particular dessert have some on hand for the caregiver to serve her. If your mom is chatty let the caregiver know so she can engage your mom. If your mom is more introverted let the caregiver know this as well so she doesn't talk your mom's ear off.
Try to ease your mom in.
Have you spent at least 24 hours with her lately? Could you arrange to do that so you can see how she is functioning? Most of the time, seniors over estimate their abilities. They claim they can cook, but they have forgotten how to and they just eat what is in the fridge, but that could be spoiled. They forget that food spoils and eat it anyway. They lose the ability to know the dangers of letting a stranger in the door or even give out personal info on the phone. There are many more dangers than leaving the stove on, though that is a huge risk too. They are not able to see how much help they need. It's doubtful you can convince her of that. Sometimes, it just has to happen.
People with dementia are often stubborn and do not have the ability to recognize the need for protection and care. However, that's not reason to let it go, IMO. They are ways to get them care. It's just a matter of which route you have to go. You can just wait it out. Sadly, that usually means a crisis in the home. That sometimes resolves it, because the person is injured and has to go to the hospital. Once there, it's obvious they cannot go home alone, so they are placed in a facility.
Good luck. Please update as to how things go.
I did hire a home care company And had them visit the folks. It went well. I fibbed that she was an old girlfriend who had started the business etc. But mom and dad said they're fine but glad to know these folks are out there when they need help.
I can't force it but at least these folks are on deck and ready to launch at the next crisis.
You initiate a Guardianship petition through surrogate's court.
P.S. If she is still driving, move the car to your house. Been there. Done that.