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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Mobile doctors or nurse practitioners may be able to come into her home with someone she knows, to make the introductions. Alva Deer has great questions to help you.
If you 'think' she has it (sometimes things are normal and sometimes they aren't), you might want to get all her paperwork in order. Will, joint name on banking accounts, investments or other such accounts. Authorized person on health and other insurance, etc. POA and Med POA. Make sure second name(s) on everything. Being able to access each and everyone of her personal items will be of the utmost importance. Once she's diagnosed, or just reaches the point she obviously can't make appropriate decisions trying to manage her finances and talking with insurance or other medical contacts will create a nightmare for her family if all these other details are not sewn up.
I often wonder why people want a diagnosis.....unless other health issues may contribute to finding out if it's dementia or something like a brain tumor. Some mental changes can be something easy to rule out such as urinary infection, or looking at side effects of certain drugs. I've seen quite a few posts here where they confirm diagnosis and then wonder if they should tell the person. In that regard, I say 'no'. Why tell them? On my good days it would be something sad for me or constantly in my brain of what is to come. That's just me, though.
An important question to ask you is whether she has an assigned PoA? If so, this person needs to be notified of the concerns and then read their PoA document to see what activates the authority (usually it is an official diagnosis by a doctor).
How old is your MIL?
What symptoms does she have that leads you think she's having a cognitive issue? FYI there are some illnesses that can also create dementia-like symptoms. One is a UTI. This is what she should be tested for first and foremost. The way you get an uncooperative person in for treatment is to call 911 and tell them she is not behaving like herself and you suspect a UTI. They will test her for this in the ER and prescribe antibiotics if she has an infection.
But if she doesn't, they will not do a cognitive test in the ER. This could be done most easily through an exam with her primary doctor. You may need to tell her a "therapeutic fib"... that an annual (free) wellness exam is required for her benefits to continue -- or whatever narrative you think will motivate her to go. Before the appointment you go into her medical portal (if she has one set up) or have a pre-written note that you discretely hand to the nurses explaning who you are and what your concerns are. Then you need to stay in the room during the entire exam (sit behind her if possible) so that when the doc asks her questions you can confirm or correct her answers. This is exactly what I did with my MIL and I was shocked at how poorly she did. She couldn't draw a clock face nor remember the 3 words (and this is the simpler cog test).
Please fill out your profile so we have more context to better give you suggestions that will be helpful.
Same with my aunt. She could not draw a clock of the time given to her by the doctor, nor remember three words he gave her and asked her to repeat. She was given additional appointments to come in for testing, but did not bother to show up for them, and cousins felt like she was doing ok, so did not bother taking her for additional tests. Probably couldn't put up with the temper tantrums. Neither could I.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I often wonder why people want a diagnosis.....unless other health issues may contribute to finding out if it's dementia or something like a brain tumor. Some mental changes can be something easy to rule out such as urinary infection, or looking at side effects of certain drugs. I've seen quite a few posts here where they confirm diagnosis and then wonder if they should tell the person. In that regard, I say 'no'. Why tell them? On my good days it would be something sad for me or constantly in my brain of what is to come. That's just me, though.
Why do you think your MIL has dementia?
Does your MIL live alone?
Who is your MIL next of kin?
How old is your MIL?
What symptoms does she have that leads you think she's having a cognitive issue? FYI there are some illnesses that can also create dementia-like symptoms. One is a UTI. This is what she should be tested for first and foremost. The way you get an uncooperative person in for treatment is to call 911 and tell them she is not behaving like herself and you suspect a UTI. They will test her for this in the ER and prescribe antibiotics if she has an infection.
But if she doesn't, they will not do a cognitive test in the ER. This could be done most easily through an exam with her primary doctor. You may need to tell her a "therapeutic fib"... that an annual (free) wellness exam is required for her benefits to continue -- or whatever narrative you think will motivate her to go. Before the appointment you go into her medical portal (if she has one set up) or have a pre-written note that you discretely hand to the nurses explaning who you are and what your concerns are. Then you need to stay in the room during the entire exam (sit behind her if possible) so that when the doc asks her questions you can confirm or correct her answers. This is exactly what I did with my MIL and I was shocked at how poorly she did. She couldn't draw a clock face nor remember the 3 words (and this is the simpler cog test).
Please fill out your profile so we have more context to better give you suggestions that will be helpful.
She was given additional appointments to come in for testing, but did not bother to show up for them, and cousins felt like she was doing ok, so did not bother taking her for additional tests. Probably couldn't put up with the temper tantrums. Neither could I.