I am 72 yo. My father is nearly 99 yo and is in a wheelchair. He lives in an assisted living facility. His dementia and hallucinations are increasing. He rambles on and on about things he thinks are real. I HATE being around him. I just can't take him anymore. I feel so crushingly guilty. I don't want to be around him. My only sib moved out of the country. I know that I am a horrible daughter for feeling this way. He gets angry if I try to reorient him. Ex: he said that the director came into the dining room screaming at him to get out, flailing her arms, threatening him. He says that he roams the building all night. None of it is real. It is so so hard to sit and listen to his rantings and ramblings. I can't take any more of him, my tank is totally empty. I used to go over a couple of times a week. Now I can barely stand to go there every couple of weeks. I had a very bad childhood due to my parents mental health issues. I have come to resent him so deeply. I can't find a counselor who takes my insurance. The facility he is in does not have a support system for families. I have no one to lean on. I am desperate and overwhelmed with guilt.
24/7 Helpline 800-272-3900. It’s a start .. Please remember , your human, you didn’t cause and you can’t cure it . You can’t change who they are in there illness but you can change your reaction to the warped reality they live in.
Give your self a gift , make the call …