She has been hallucinating or not idk for 6 months seeing little babies that visit, but it has now increased to adults coming with the babies, along with others, that has now overcrowded her room to where she says they won't let her sleep. The kid's bother her things on a table by her bed, she's afraid to get up and go to the bathroom out of fear of stepping on them...but has urinated, and had a number 2 on herself cause she doesn't want to disturb them. Now she says my deceased Dad of 25 yrs comes every night and lays beside her and she talks, smiles, lays her arm to the side and says he's holding her hand.
The day she died, we were sitting at the dining room table talking after our lunch. Suddenly she said very loudly "Hi Mom, Hi Dad! I have missed you so much!" She was so happy to "see" them. I said I could not see them. She replied "Maybe my reality is different than yours. I am dying." I was rather taken aback by that reply. I had no response to that. She died that evening.
Your mother may be preparing herself for her passing. Spending time with her now may seem a burden, the wet bed may seem a big problem right now but once she is gone you will miss her. Cherish every moment with her even the bad ones.
Perhaps what we classify as hallucination are really the reality of a person preparing to pass. Who knows. I always let my mother talk and just went along with her. Your mother may have a uti. That is how my mother's delirium started, As for bed wetting, I bought Tena overnight underwear for my mother. They never leaked once on the bed. She got used to me changing them during the night. We worked out a bed routine and even with the delirium episodes she was still able to help me help her. I knew when she needed a change because she would wake up and start to move around in her bed. My mother was on Resperidone, that helped immensely with the hallucinating.
Hope you find a solution to the bed problem. Hang in there. Your mother is lucky to have you.
If diagnosed either with mental problems or dementia, has your Mom been tried on any medications? This is a complex thing, what she is experiencing and you are I think going to have to work with a good neuro-psychiatric person.
I would also suggest you have mom checked for a UTI. That’s often the problem.
Second, She may be preparing to transition. But, maybe there are things you can do to help her access the bathroom. Have you thought of buying a commode to put by her bed? Or go along with her hallucinations: put two strips of tape on the floor and announce that nothing is permitted to obstruct this walkway to the bathroom, for example. Try different tactics, and see if anything works. I’d suggest having her wear depends to avoid messes.
Good luck