Follow
Share
Read More
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
I read about your situation and it reminded me about my own Mother. I am glad that your Mom is home now, and I hope you can find some way of keeping her at home. IMHO no Nursing Home is a holiday inn. Nothing of value should be left in a NH or you risk it missing or find it broken. No matter what a place looks like on the outside it is not the same inside when you are not there. It is very hard to find a good facility unless you already know of one, and maybe it will not be nearby. Maybe your State Dept. Of Aging can you help you get the help you need to take care of your Mother. The medical gastritis situation you describe, do you think a NH would handle it as good and quickly as you did? It sounds very serious.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Not all Nursing Homes are what they seem. The one my mother was in killed her.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

My Mother was fine in her home till she fell.. All her tests came back normal but the hospital sent her to rehab and Rehab said she couldnt go home alone. She winded up in Memory care. My brother and I went everyday. but she winded up catching pneumonia in there and one thing led to another and she passed away.. I do feel her being in the home killed her because she would have never caught pneumonia if she was in her own home.. So I know I wouldnt do it again. But of course its too late for my Mother.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I'd echo some of the comments here, such as using your nose when visiting, as Ahmijoy said. Or as ThePianist said, the sales person and brochures are not indicative of reality.
When Mom was discharged from the hospital, they gave me less than 24 hours to pick one from their list. Btwn further discussions with doctors and nurses, Dad's needs at home, our animals, and traffic, that period of time only allowed me to visit 2 facilities.
One was right behind that hospital so I walked over. The building felt old and outdated inside and it was going to be a 25 min drive each way, which was okay for 4 days in the hospital but not for twice daily trips for several weeks.
I'd already been in the one a mile from our house. No one there was interested in giving me a tour or even acknowledging my presence so I just walked around on my own. The urine smell was pervasive. That's not a dealbreaker because I think urine smells occur in all facilities at times. However, the female patients sitting out front looked very depressed. I heard one ask a sitting staff member who does her hair. The staff member just looked at her and there was a long silence before she replied "Who does my hair?!!" as if she was insulted. All of that combined was enough for me to leave and decide never to come back.
I chose a facility that was only 2 yrs old. It felt clean and there was no offensive odor. They even had their own hair salon and a coffee/ice cream cafe', two things important to Mom. They also had daily activities, which I suspected she wouldn't partake of (I was right) but one of them was visits with a dog, which I thought she'd like. She ended up liking none of it, not even the coffee house.
Though Mom's determination to be unhappy there had a lot to do with some of what went wrong in the bigger picture, I wish I'd done more observing of the staff before choosing that place.
We had a difficult time overcoming the distractions from Mom's care that my niece created with her incessant drama. The staff spent too much listening to her and not enough time taking care of Mom. Part of that blame certainly falls on my niece but part of it is also about being professional, which means not getting wrapped up in rumors without getting facts.
I pushed Mom's alarm one time when I arrived, as she had soaked through her clothes and the sheets. A CNA arrived within 5 minutes and I asked if she could change Mom. She was flustered and said she was busy feeding someone. I apologized, adding "oh sure! No problem...when you can". About 15 min. later I walked down the hall and saw her standing in a doorway of a room laughing and chatting with a family. She saw me and quickly looked back at that patient asking "are you eating okay?". I kept walking but wondered if she was just politely staying and talking with them, or was she only interested in helping them because they are of her own race?" I let it go.
Then, 15 more minutes went by and I walked by the nurses station where I saw her sitting in a chair with her feet up on the desk. I kept walking.
Still trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, I asked the nurse who was charting in the hall if there was a specific time of day they're supposed to change them. She said no, they should do it as needed and she came in and did it herself.
There were a few too many similar incidents with CNA's who were lazy or had a chip on their shoulder.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter