I feel so lost and depressed. I have had my mom with me now for almost 5 years. Her Alzheimer’s is progressing but she is still functioning with a lot of assistance. She lives with us in a separate suite. The problem is I don’t get a minutes peace - she wants to come everywhere I go, if I am just reading she sits and stares at me, if we have company she plunks herself down, my husband and I try to sneak out but then she is sad saying she is always alone. I keep telling her that she would be better somewhere with people her own age but then she cries and says she doesn’t want to go. I know many will say just move her and forget the guilt, I am asking for suggestions on how to make this work where we can both be happy with the decision.
In my opinion, it's very stressful to live with a person who has dementia around the clock, especially, during the repeating stage. It can also be exhausting. That kind of wear and tear on your body and mind can be devastating. It took me a year to recover my health after a short stent at at home care giving. I don't fault myself. I did the best I could, but, it was not feasible for our situation. I anticipate bringing my LO back home from MC at some point. She's end stage now, but, I have to ensure that I have shifts of people to be with her and help me. One person doing this is just not realistic. Covid makes long term care facilities really scary right now, but, I would still explore your options. Whether it's bringing in outside help or placement. Convincing her that she would be better in a facility is probably not something I would plan on happening. Even if you did, she's likely forget it soon after.
I'd also read a lot about what the work for you will be as her dementia progresses. How would you manage if she is wheelchair bound and you need help transferring her to the bed. Or what about when she is incontinent and she needs changing her depends? Or, if she resist care and you must manage that alone? It's a lot to consider.