I have 2 aides to care for my husband, who has dementia and physical weakness. They divide up the week. One of them, a man, does not seem skilled at dealing with my husband's increasing physical difficulties and advancing dementia. I need to replace this aide with someone more skilled, but I hate having to fire him. Do I tell him I'm letting him go because his skills are not what's needed, or should I make up a more easy-to-swallow story? (This may seem like a silly question, but I have put off firing him for 2 weeks because I can't face up to it.)
Due to the decline in my husband his care is getting a bit out of your realm of experience.
For his safety and yours I am going to have to hire someone with more experience with the decline we are experiencing now.
Give the aide a date, 2 weeks would be good. Also give him a letter of recommendation (if it is warranted)
If this aide is doing what he wants to do the information you are giving him about his lack of skills is important to him. Suggest that he take a CNA course (local, community collages are a perfect place to do this) He would be more employable and be able to get higher pay after completing a certificate course. You would actually be doing him a service having this conversation.
Any criticism you give can be used against you. Saying that the person has two weeks can rarely lead to them claiming injury on your premises and so on. I have a friend who runs a commercial cleaning business and I can't begin to tell you what he goes through in hiring and firing problems.
Then just kick them out without so much as the slightest explanation as to why?
Are you kidding me? I was so unceremoniously dismissed from a position myself by a client's child. I worked for them for years. I had to handle EVERYTHING for not only the elderly client herself who shortly after I started then became completely invalid from LBD, but also for her husband when he got sick with cancer and then passed away. Their adult children did absolutely nothing. I had one week off in four years and that only happened because I took care of all the arrangements for them to go for a short stay/respite care in a nursing home.
I was dismissed with a 'your services are no longer required' because the family found cheaper help. I didn't deserve that.
The caregiver working for AFormerGenius doesn't either.
There is no HR department in private homecare, so you can treat an employee like a human being and show them some basic decency and respect. That's the upside of private care.
I would wonder though if maybe its time to place your husband in LTC. You would become the Community Spouse and retain 50% of the assets with his portion being spent down and then applying for Medicaid. You would stay in the home and have a car. Your monthly income will be split so you can pay bills. There is more to this but a lawyer well versed in Medicaid can explain it better.
As an employer myself I can testify that letting someone go almost never feels good and we tend to "horribilize" it in our minds as we work ourselves up to do it, but firing someone for poor performance, attitude or motivation communicates a very important life lesson to them: consequences. You are doing them a favor. They will either make a better effort at their next job, get better training or realize they aren't suited for that type of job. You do not need to go into any great detail as you let them go. I recommend also a letter to legally protect yourself. You can wait until they have a break day and then call to tell them, if you find it easier. Send them an accurate final paycheck. Don't give them a prolonged "notice", like telling them they have 2 weeks before they have a final day. You can write out a script of what you'll say so that you won't over talk. Make it short and sweet. Make sure you collect anything back from them that you've given them necessary for their caregiving job. I wish you all the best.
If he is with an agency, they are told when training not to take any dismissal of a job personally.
Some people are not the right fit.
Let the agency deliver the news.
If it it private pay, I would simply say that you appreciate the effort that they have made but explain that your husband requires specific needs and they aren’t being met.