He has now been committed. The nurse at the facility he's at, says, regardless of what they told me two years ago, I have to get POA now. She said legally they aren't even suppposed to talk to me. No one else has anything to do with my husband. Can I get POA just by talking to an attorney?
The Aging Care website article “How to Legally Force a Loved One to Move to a Senior Living Facility” states “The only way you can legally force someone to move into a long-term care facility against their will is to obtain guardianship (sometimes called conservatorship) of that person.” This article also talks about the process you will need to go through to obtain Guardianship.
Talk to an Elder Care Attorney about the procedure to obtain guardianship of your Husband ASAP. (And also talk to the attorney about arranging for someone to be your Medical/Healthcare & Financial POA since your husband cannot be your POA.)
Who can be a guardian for an adult?
Any qualified person may be appointed. However, the law* establishes the following priorities:
Person named in a durable power of attorney
Spouse or spouse’s nominee
Adult child parent or parent’s nominee
Relative with whom person has lived the prior 6 months
Nominee of caretaker of person
[*Alabama law, that is.]
So, do not despair. An application can't be made without your being informed of it, and if you make yourself known to the court as a willing candidate, with no disqualifications, you'd likely be appointed.
But I'm only mentioning this to boost your morale - do get legal advice, in any case.
Guardianship is often the next step, but I remember that Jeanne Gibbs - a hugely respected and generous member of this forum - whose husband had Lewy Body dementia managed without. Speak to an attorney about next steps, and also have a look at what your State's website has to say about local regulations.
Call them back and tell them that you need to speak to the persons in charge.
I recall earlier your telling us that they wanted you to sign to have him committed? Let me ask you, who DID sign to have him committed.
As his wife you are his next of kin. I am uncertain why they are refusing to speak to the next of kin of a mentally incompetent person.
Long and short though is that you now need to get guardianship. Because he is in a facility that undoubtedly had Social Workers or some other folks knowledgeable you may be able to get emergency guardianship or temporary guardianship as his next of kin quite easily with their help. So call them at the first business day.
What has me concerned here is that he was committed without someone in authority? I would ask them who OK'd his committal to their care?
My concern is that they are intending to give him the guardianship of the State. If that is the case you nor anyone else will have any say at all, nor be given permission.
So call on Tuesday
Ask to speak to the administrator
Ask how your husband got committed without someone signing a committal.
Ask if he has a POA listed or a Guardian.
Please start to keep a diary of every step in this mess. Day they transferred him. Who you spoke to. What they said. Keep it up to date.
My feeling is that you may end needing to see a lawyer with all the information you have.
Ask if he has been made a ward of State guardianship.
You need some answers and you well may need an attorney, but start with this. Keep us updated.