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Since she is a fall risk, if she tumbles and breaks something. She will need to be in a facility until healed. How do I protect the house so it is not gobbled up by the facility so she can return to the home after a possible long recovery time?
"she will not want to leave the house. and I cant have her live with me. If she has to recover from a fall, she will want to return to the house. the lien may be the choice"
Will she have enough funds to pay for in-home care (usually about $25/hour) without selling her home?
I'm not sure who you are trying to save the home for? Does not the home pass to mom after dad dies? So, she will have the home, either as a place to live, with caregivers coming in, or as an asset to sell so that she can be cared for in a facility.
DJ, if your mom has dementia, you will need to be making the decisions for her that do not take her desire to go home into consideration. It would not be safe for her. They always want to go home.
There are posts on here that ask what to do, my mom keeps asking to go home even though she is in the home she has lived in for 65 years.
So you have to consider her wants as secondary to her needs and safety. It is so hard to make these decisions for our parents, but they are easier than living with the consequences of say... them burning up in a house fire because we left them alone and let their broken brain run the decisions.
If she broke a bone and ended up in the hospital with then rehab, they won't just keep her until she is healed. She would have to be admitted to long term care and they will want to be paid, especially if they know that she is only there for the short term. You can't just check in and check out of these places.
You should find out how that works before you make any decisions about the house. You should also get a needs assessment done and some testing so you know exactly what the situation is with your mom. Because being home is not always the best answer, especially when they can not be left alone for a moment and dementia tends to create that situation.
I am sorry for your loss. May God grant you grieving mercies and wisdom during this difficult time.
You're calmly contemplating a scenario whereby your mother breaks her hip or her wrist, and you're worried about where she'll live afterwards? Sheesh. Worry about the pain and disability of the injury, first.
What are you doing to reduce the risk of her falling? How co-operative is she?
wow, how rude, I'm trying to plan ahead in all situations, we are fully aware of doing everything to avoid falling, no skid rugs, bars in bathrooms, walk in tub, walker, with every possible bell and whistle. a helpful comment would be appreciated .
Your Mom has Dementia. This will not get better. She will need care. Because when Dad passes, she should not be alone. And I will bet she is worse than you think because Dad covers for her.
At this point, I don't think there is anything you can do to "save" the house. Mom may need Medicaid within the next five years and anything done to "save" it will probably need to be revoked. The house really doesn't count as an asset. The problem is though, Medicaid makes it hard to have anyone live there unless a spouse, caregiver of at least 2 yrs or disabled child. In all these scenarios, the person has to show they can maintain it. Because, Moms SS and any pension she receives goes to offset the cost of her care. She is allowed a small amount for personal needs. In my situation, the house stood empty until Moms death. I stopped paying taxes and eventually the water bill. Shut down unnecessary utilities. I would have so loved to have been able to sell and used that to keep Mom in her AL. It finally sold, was able to pay the small Medicaid lean, taxes, got reimbursed for my out of pocket and the 3 children got a little mad money. But, for me, the stress of having to keep an eye on it and keep up bills was too much. The only reason I would want to "save it" was so my girls don't end up with the same headache.
To be honest, your parents should have set up a trust years ago.
So many want to protect the usually largest asset. The house can remain in her name, but all costs associated with it need to be paid by someone else. If she goes on Medicaid then they will place liens on the house that will be repaid when it sells.
Wouldn't you rather sell the house at fair market value to be able to pay for a better/nicer facility that will take better care of mom? Instead you want to plan on keeping the home and have all taxpayers pay for mom's care. Do you really think that sounds right or ethical?
she will not want to leave the house. and I cant have her live with me. If she has to recover from a fall, she will want to return to the house. the lien may be the choice
Agree with Geaton. It is time to have an hour's consult with a good elder law attorney to discuss what paperwork is in place, what assets can be protected and how that is best done. Take a list of all assets, of your POA if you have one (if not time to get that ironed out) and of health care directives. Time to tie up all the loose ends. The attorney will explain how best to do things in your state.
This is a discussion for an elder law attorney who specializes in estate planning for your specific state (because laws differ from state to state) and is familiar with Medicaid qualification. It is an excellent investment of about $300 (although some will give a free initial consult). There is a lot to know! One thing many adult children of seniors who need caregiving do not know is that many will require Medicaid eventually and it is very important you know what will impact Medicaid qualification. Medicaid in some states can look back into applicant finances 5 years (it's 5 in my state). You cannot be co-mingling your funds with them or doing property/asset transactions without the state-specific guidance of an actual attorney. You will never regret spending the money (and this is an expense your parents need to pay for themselves). You should also be getting paid directly from your parents for their care, and this should have a written contract. This makes them employers and taxes and SS needs to be taken out. Again, something to discuss and get correct by consulting with an appropriate attorney.
Also, please understand that many well-meaning adult children romanticize and dreadfully underestimate the rigors and costs of providing the care themselves. Please read a few of the posts on this forum under Caregiver Burnout. Having a plan for transitioning and paying for facility care would be extremely prudent, just in case. I wish you all the best! Good for you for thinking ahead!
thank you for your help, is there a website that you recommend to find a good eldercare attorney? I have no where to start. what should I look for when choosing one? I'm in Florida thanks DJ
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Will she have enough funds to pay for in-home care (usually about $25/hour) without selling her home?
I'm not sure who you are trying to save the home for? Does not the home pass to mom after dad dies? So, she will have the home, either as a place to live, with caregivers coming in, or as an asset to sell so that she can be cared for in a facility.
They do this work day in and day out so you are not paying for someone to learn on the job. I found that they were cheaper because of this fact.
I highly recommend interviewing every single attorney in your area that is a CELA and then deciding which one is the best fit for your situation.
There are posts on here that ask what to do, my mom keeps asking to go home even though she is in the home she has lived in for 65 years.
So you have to consider her wants as secondary to her needs and safety. It is so hard to make these decisions for our parents, but they are easier than living with the consequences of say... them burning up in a house fire because we left them alone and let their broken brain run the decisions.
If she broke a bone and ended up in the hospital with then rehab, they won't just keep her until she is healed. She would have to be admitted to long term care and they will want to be paid, especially if they know that she is only there for the short term. You can't just check in and check out of these places.
You should find out how that works before you make any decisions about the house. You should also get a needs assessment done and some testing so you know exactly what the situation is with your mom. Because being home is not always the best answer, especially when they can not be left alone for a moment and dementia tends to create that situation.
I am sorry for your loss. May God grant you grieving mercies and wisdom during this difficult time.
You're calmly contemplating a scenario whereby your mother breaks her hip or her wrist, and you're worried about where she'll live afterwards? Sheesh. Worry about the pain and disability of the injury, first.
What are you doing to reduce the risk of her falling? How co-operative is she?
At this point, I don't think there is anything you can do to "save" the house. Mom may need Medicaid within the next five years and anything done to "save" it will probably need to be revoked. The house really doesn't count as an asset. The problem is though, Medicaid makes it hard to have anyone live there unless a spouse, caregiver of at least 2 yrs or disabled child. In all these scenarios, the person has to show they can maintain it. Because, Moms SS and any pension she receives goes to offset the cost of her care. She is allowed a small amount for personal needs. In my situation, the house stood empty until Moms death. I stopped paying taxes and eventually the water bill. Shut down unnecessary utilities. I would have so loved to have been able to sell and used that to keep Mom in her AL. It finally sold, was able to pay the small Medicaid lean, taxes, got reimbursed for my out of pocket and the 3 children got a little mad money. But, for me, the stress of having to keep an eye on it and keep up bills was too much. The only reason I would want to "save it" was so my girls don't end up with the same headache.
To be honest, your parents should have set up a trust years ago.
So many want to protect the usually largest asset. The house can remain in her name, but all costs associated with it need to be paid by someone else. If she goes on Medicaid then they will place liens on the house that will be repaid when it sells.
Wouldn't you rather sell the house at fair market value to be able to pay for a better/nicer facility that will take better care of mom? Instead you want to plan on keeping the home and have all taxpayers pay for mom's care. Do you really think that sounds right or ethical?
Also, please understand that many well-meaning adult children romanticize and dreadfully underestimate the rigors and costs of providing the care themselves. Please read a few of the posts on this forum under Caregiver Burnout. Having a plan for transitioning and paying for facility care would be extremely prudent, just in case. I wish you all the best! Good for you for thinking ahead!
thanks
DJ