The psych doc said memantine was the only drug applicable at Mom's stage (severe alzh). We tried it last Christmas but Mom had a really bad reaction to it, so the doc stopped it. I am now being pestered by a psych nurse (doc on maternity leave) who is pressurising me to try Mom on donezepil (Aricept), though he says it is borderline whether it would help, as it is for early stages of Alzh. I am scared of causing Mom to experience another bad reaction to a drug and/or disturb her current state but he is making me feel like a bad person for not trying it. Has anyone had experience of this drug in the later stages of Alzh?
She also had a fungal skin infection that they gave her at the hospital. They never treated it and it finally did get pretty bad. The other hospital saved her from it with
ANTIFUNGAL MEDS. unfortunately we brought her back to the other hospital so her doctor who originally did her elective procedure could have a look at her.That was our fatal mistake had I known that they were going to continue on with antibiotics and cut off her fungal meds when she arrived she would have stayed in the other hospital. I would have insisted on it. I should have realized that this hospital (the original hospital) had never helped her before with this infection that they gave her. So why would they start now. I also found out that the infection had been diagnosed in the beginning but yet no treatment had ever been given to her. The only reason I can think of is because she was elder with a DNR cause DNRS are now being used so the medical staff do not have to do anything at all.
I am the kind of person who ALWAYS GIVE PEOPLE THE BENEFIT OF THE . DOUBT. I HAVE TRIED TO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO THINK MAYBE IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. NO, I CANT FOOL MYSELF NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY. YOU KNOW HOW HARD THIS IS TO THINK THAT PEOPLE WHO ARE PAID TO CARE FOR AND HELP PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY TAKING LIVES INSTEAD, THEY TOOK HER LIFE FOR NO REASON AT ALL. WHAT DID SHE EVER DO TO DESERVE HAVING HER LIFE STOLEN AWAY FROM HER. THE ANSWER IS NOTHING. SHE WAS THE BEST WOMAN YOU COULD EVEN KNOW.I WISH I WAS ABLE TO STOP THE MADNESS BEFORE THEY KILLED HER. IT WAS PURE EVIL.
In our area you only have a year to do a malpractice case. My lawyer did not want to take it after he found out that euthanasia/murder was done. He was a medical/doctor also who worked in one of the hospitals that my mom was in. Not the one that hurt her and killed her. He was too uncomfortable about taking the case and dropped it after we talked about the euthanasia. He did tell me that he knows people who do use euthanasia but he did not believe in it for himself.Thank God for morals, so at least some can make it out alive.Staff need to keep an eye on people who kill patients.The main cases that are taken in medical malpractice cases are where one thing happened and the patient is alive and will need medical help for what problem the medical staff caused him. A fund for medical costs is set aside for him.I did get another lawyer who was a wrongful death lawyer and was ready and willing to take the case. It was the day before it turned one year, but when he found out that our time would run out the next day he could not get it ready that fast.There is only a year for wrongful death also. I think there is more time in a nursing home.If it is true murder then there should not be a statue of limitations. I'm not sure if this state would consider murder in the hospital a true murder or just euthanasia even though both are murder however how you look at it.Maybe it would be and age discrimination that resulted in murder. most age discrimination cases are for employment discrimination only.These hospital criminals may have got away with murder which is just sickening.
You did not kill your mom. I think from your description the hospice did not do things the way you would have liked them done and yes, she died more quickly than she would have if you had full say so. I had to ask specifically at my moms hospice to continue meds that were not related to comfort care because they typically stop as many meds as possible..they are almost obligated to stop curative-aimed treatment of the underlying condition, but that can get into stopping quality of life treatments too. And terminal sedation does hasten death though that is not the prime intention. Their intent may not have been evil. They may have thought the goal was simply to get it over with as quickly and painlessly as possible and that was not your goal...it was not mine either.
I did let them stop her antiplatelet agents. They were not really working very well if at all, grant you that, but still I often think maybe we should not have and maybe she would have stabilized for a few days more and maybe we would have gotten to go see the Penguins at the zoo. I am not totally sure why I let them because I insisted on keeping her Sinemet because it helped her do the little,she was still able to do. And I said no to the morphine and phenergan they wanted to give round the clock, while I became very glad it was available when she had angina again and again, and we could not give any more nitroglycerin...bear in mods I am a medical person and knew more of,what each med did and did not do. Be that as it may, I did not "do everything possible" to keep her alive longer iwhe. It seemed inhumane and that weighed on me for a while.
There may or may not be any legal recourse now for their disregard for your wishes. If you can list anything you wish you had done differently and share it, and forgive yourself, maybe you can begin to forgive the failures of the hospice staff too. You probably wish you knew and could have convinced them not too have stopped the anti fungal medicine - she could have been more alert and more comfortable and maybe lived a little longer too. But you did not have either the power or the knowledge to do that at the time. For better or worse it is water under the bridge. Hating on these people is eating you alive though and forgiveness is not something you do for THEM it is something you do for YOU. And it does not preclude prosecuting or filing suit or complaint to office of long term care...in fact it would.help you to do it more objectively. You just have to ask yourself why you are so hurtfully and painfully obsessed for these several years versus able to do what is possible to do here and now, and begin to let go of the things that can't be changed. You have to ask, realistically, how much longer she would have lived if everything had been done.
My own answer to,that question...with anti platelet agents and EECP... Well, maybe a week, maybe a month, maybe none or maybe even less with the EECP as it's risky with peripheral vascular disease as my mom had. I went to the place where they did that just to see would it be feasible, what would it be like to have her on that table with the big wraps on her legs and it just seemed wrong and we did not do it. They had no objection to continuing a high dose of Ranexa because it was to prevent pain from angina. We stayed with that and it eventually quit working. I made the decision too not to go back to the hospital anymore, after the last time when all the meds including IV nitroglycerin could not really fix it. Second guessing hurts but what people,told me here was if you know in your own heart you did what you thought was kindest and best and respectful of wishes expressed (my mom said no CPR and to a couple other things) then you did Right even if you were not "right" about something.
And, if my mom had gone on to total blindness and total inability to swallow before she died, that would have been worse for her. I almost forgot about that too while I was really stuck in guilty second guessing mode...
If you feel that in order to honor your loved one, your message must be that hospices all kill people and no one should ever use one then you will be beating your head on the wall because this message will not be accepted universally. Too many people had good experiences and real help. Too many people had no real conflicts even as I did....
Finally if letting go of any of it is not anything you an do, at least turn away from repeating and ruminating here and put energy into a right to live type of effort or organization. I hope something we can say or more importantly that you can think or do differently begins to help you.
Find an attorney in your area and retain them.
Good luck with your case.
I'm afraid nobody here has a way to make anything better for you.
You apparently did not have your mom's HCPOA or you would never have allowed her to be put in hospice. Someone else did. I can only imagine the bridges you've burned with your family as you continue to insist your mom was murdered. I am very VERY sorry.
You need counseling. I see you HAVE had counseling about this. You need more.
1. The first way was: drug overdoses done many times and constant drugs given to her that she could not have. It was explained to the staff, written in her chart explained to them and her and I also said she could not have these drugs. So there was no excuse for overdosing her and continuing on this road of destruction unless killing was their objective. No One in their right mind would do that.They also knew that due to her age and they were taking a tremendous risk.She had a D.N.R so it made everything so much easier.She was not expecting them to use it to take her life with though.That was not why she had it.
2. The second way was: severe neglect when it came to treating her fungal skin infection that she got from the hospital.They knew how to treat it because it was diagnosed but they chose not to even in the beginning.The infection started as a skin infection but got worse because of severe neglect. At the end as bad as it was it was still treatable.The good doctor and his wonderful staff proved that to be true. The treatment was to be continued by the hospital that her doctor was in.
Ok Jude you said that this is common for elders to get fungal infections I have also heard it is common in hospitals that don't worry about spreading infectious diseases. The doctor told me that is how she got it. This infection is not just for the elderly. Regardless of how she got it the solution should not be just let it go. Actually when she would come in to the hospital after the drug overdoses with complications she would get antibiotic. I don't understand that. This infection had been diagnosed yet it was not properly treated. Mass doses of antibiotics is not what I would call proper treatment especially for someone with a fungal infection. she had a skin fungal infection she got from the hospital and she was not getting treated for it then why on earth would antibiotic be given for it. it only made it worse that is why women tend to get yeast infections if they have been treated with antibiotics. Most doctors are very careful about prescribing antibiotics because it can actually cause fungal yeast infections.
Another thing you said that she was at the end stages of life why because she was constantly overdosed with deadly drugs that she could not handle and she contracted a fungal infection at the hospital that later got bad because she was so neglected and never treated for it not even fungal cream. The doctor said it was contracted in the hospital. Then in the mean time she is getting antibiotics whenever she would come in for complications of the drug overdoses. So I would have to disagree with you to her being at the end stages of her life.Not even close.You are way off sorry to tell you.
Im not sure what doctor you were referring to here
A doctor who criticises another doctor has a duty to report controversial findings AND HE DID NOT DO THIS.
As far as the meds go She was doing well with the anti fungal meds. Even though she was still in a coma from the last overdose. She was looking very peaceful and relaxed as she healed. Those were the most helpful drugs she had ever got.The treatment was not continued like it was supposed to.2 weeks at the minimal for someone anyone who has just suffered from that kind of an infection. It is the same thing as if I have an infection fungal or bacterial and I start to take my meds but don't finish them. My infection is going to come back most likely even worse then it started. That is why it is so important to finish the med treatment. She did not have that chance even though the anti fungal meds were helping her.The antibiotics are for sure not going to help a fungal infection unless they want the patient dead and that is what happened, the evils got their wish. She was in pain at the end cause she could not breath and swelling up because they were giving her poison for her condition. She was being forced to die with the antibiotics. It was a very sly way of doing euthanasia on an elder that the staff made sick with a curable infection that they chose to never treat, only with meds that will make the infection worse. Then all the overdoses.What a crying shame and waste of life. I wish the staff would get life in prison where they belong and really deserve. I try so hard to make sense of this disaster but its so much.I'm sure they had a stupid motive.Its too devastating. I have talked to nurses doctors pharmacists who did not understand why they did what they did to her, I try to talk to as many as I can to try and find answers but I'm not going to. I can't get inside the evils head and find out why and how etc. Well anyway thanks for trying to help.I know you would like to think the best of these totally evil staff as I would also, but they are who they are and just belong in prison.
This is my last comment on it because you aint listening gal
Aging leads to variable physiological changes; older patients are more vulnerable to fungal infections. Elderly patients are more easily affected by pathogenic fungi and have a resultant higher mortality rates. IE FUNGAL INFECTIONS CAN BE FATAL IN THE ELDERLY AND THE TREATMENT, WHILE IT MAY CURE THE FUNGAL INFECTION CAN BE DOING UNDERLYING DAMAGE TO THE REST OF THE BODY - specifically but not limited to the lungs, the liver and the kidneys all of which can be fatal
Once you get into a cyclical sitauation in end of life care * and you said she was dying so she was in end of life care, you are NOT TRAINED, and CANNOT READ ENOUGH, to make you qualified to pass comment. A doctor who criticises another doctor has a duty to report controversial findings AND HE DID NOT DO THIS.
There comes a point where the medications required to deal with various problems WILL result in polypharmacy and at that point a doctor can and should decide whether to wiwithdraw medication. Having gone through the alternatives you make your own choice.
1 YOU SAY no you must continue to medicate
Result - increased tortuous pain as each organ begins in turn to fail. The liver and the kidneys bear the brunt of this and the pain is excruciating - I watched my father in agony so I do know what happens
2 The DOCTORS SAY we dont want to make the decision to stop medication because it will cause the person terrible pain we would like to stop the medication but use morphine - you should know however that this will kill the person eventually. What would you like us to do?
RESULT?
That gives you the choice to say continue to medicate see above problems or no kill them using morphine because make no mistake increased omorphone will kill them eventually - there is a tipping point at which morphine becomes lethal FOR EVERYONE
LIKE I SAID I GIVE UP ON THIS THREAD NOW BECAUSE IT IS POINTLESS TALKING TO SOMEONE WHO IS NOT PREPARED TO LISTEN OR UNDERSTAND BUT JUST WILL NOT LEAVE THE TOPIC ALONE
It is you and sanwiches choice and others who don't understand to turn the other way in such a tragedy. I completely understand this. I appreciate that you tried to help, thank you for your kindness.This is too horrible of a situation to begin to wrap your mind around and I don't expect you to know how or even want to deal with this. I don't blame you. Consider yourself lucky enough that you have never had to experience anything like this personally.
I had gone to counseling before when I lost my dad and grandma I found it very helpful. It was such a different kind of death. I went this time also. I tried all kinds of counseling with so many different counselors with no relief. I just came out of there feeling like they did not understand no matter how much I went. I just got tired of going and not getting any help. It is like the vets trying to talk to people about the war. They feel like no one understands. They feel understood and comfortable talking to other vets. I finally found a counselor who specialized AND was actually good with traumatic events. She at least understood what I was going through. My counselor and I have concluded that any kind of closure is not something that I will get since the killers are still on the loose and not much was done.So I just have to try and deal and be a survivor of this horrible tragedy.That is all that can be done.I just have to to learn to live with this horrible suffering and everything that goes along with it.Usually people feel so strong when they survive something like I have in the past. I sure don't anymore. There is no end with the suffering.I have to accept that and figure out how our treatment of elders needs to change. That is what can help me.
I was able to accept and find closure with my dad and grandma other relatives and friends that I have lost. I was able to keep on living my life with of course pain at first but it did subside and time healed it.Non of those people had their lives taken. It is not the same. People say time heals all pain. I have to say that is not true in situations like this. Sometimes it last forever as in my case.
I am the kind of person that everyone could come to and talk about their troubles. I would listen and feel for them but at the end I was not the one that had to deal with the problems. I helped them but I was not them. I am not asking for help. I just want to be able to warn people and by me warning people and telling my experiences then, others who have been through similar situations can come forward. I do have a right to be here and find people who have had similar situations like me.That is what this site is about.We can help each other.
I know I was just a caregiver for a short time because my mom needed help during the medical abuse. I was taking care of her trying to save her from the haldol and adivan overdoses, you and sanwich and some of the others could find other conversations that would be more suitable for your personal situation and I can do the same. If someone want to offer me suggestions on the way I'm open. Who knows maybe I can form an online support group for people who have suffered the same situations like me. or talk about it here.
Her doctor that did the procedure wanted to see her.She was transferred to that hospital. The new staff all knew better than to treat fungal with antibiotics. We had even talked about it what she had and they knew the correct treatment. It was even in her chart. I watched the nurse call the doctor to tell him. At the new hospital, the new doctors had a talk about not continuing her treatment because of her age. It was too much of a bother and waste of money not in those exact words but close enough. They said she was terminal from end stages of diseases she did NOT have. Before the coroner investigation these diseases showed up on her death certificate until the coroner corrected it.One thing that they said she had was end stages dementia. That was easy cause she was in the druginduced coma that she had been in for the last two weeks. She had been in it since the time she was overdosed which was about 2 weeks.That was the one where they were yelling out dnr and adivan at the same time even though she was already knocked out and that was the reason for her first entering the icu. Anyway when the doctors lied about her end stages diseases that she did not have they were able to get her in hospice to kill her. It was pretty obvious.There has been investigations done and they did confirm that she was given enough haldol adivan coctails to do great bodily harm and cause death. They said they put something in place in just one hospital. I want to find out about that cause it happened in another one also. I'm sure the sly ones will find ways of getting around it.
So please go and get some help to work your way through the issues. As you can do nothing other than warn others, be advised you have done that. Now you need to help yourself or you will stuck in this terrible situation forever and it will do you no good to dwell hun...you have to move on
It's not really on topic for this thread and it's going to keep others from chiming in.
If you aren't going to the police or the board of health and doing something proactive about it, let it go. If the authorities won't take the case, you need to listen to them. I believe there is something else here that you simply are choosing to ignore or disbelieve to keep your version alive.
Regardless, if you don't have a question to ask and are just using the site to churn over the incident, that's not what the site is for. Your honest questions are definitely welcome, but not the ranting and preaching.
I just want to make people aware and protect their loved ones.That does not mean that I am a nurse or doctor hater. I have good friends who are in the medical field and are good people. I'm not saying they are all evil. We just have to depend on the staff being people with good morals or our life is in danger.That is why we need protection for patients and residents. Laws need to be enforced that way we will hopefully not be at the mercy of this kind of medical staff.
Remaining stuck, reliving a traumatic event in life is not healthy. Nobody is ever prepared to lose someone dear, and you really do have to consciously work on getting your grief under control or your life will disappear before your eyes if you stay stuck there.
I know others have made the same recommendation to you, and I think it's really important to take that seriously.
You are not willing to recognise that it is NOT a nurses fault - they cannot just stop administering on your say so unless you have that authority which from your pposts you seem not to have. It is, if anyone is to blame, the doctor for not discussing the meds with you and your mum properly. He should explain them what they are for what side effects and interactions may occur and then you agree them - this is a medical review and a nurse, a pharmacist, a doctor the patient and their representative if needed and a key worker if relevant should all be present for this review
If you can prove what you are saying report it to the authorities. To your local sheriff to your local press office if need be but keep speaking out to the right people. BUT I can tell you this NOT EVERY HOME is like the ONE home you are basing your theories on NOT EVERY HOSPITAL is like the ONE hospital you are basing your theories on. MOST nurses, doctors, pharmacists and key workers love the job they do because they care. Doctors are sworn to first rpeserve life under the Hippocratic oath - they would be struck off otherwise.
Basically what I am saying flow is while that may be your experience it is NOT THE NORM and you shouldn't be expounding it as such because it simply is not true