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How do so many assume this aide was merely a “sleep duty “ aide? This doesn’t make sense since if all that was required was to be there and sleep mostly then OP wouldn’t have hired an aide. The company needs to train better . As far as showering , I’d say onky with permission and even then mostly just for rare times or if she somehow became soiled from an incident of incontinence or vomiting or food…
also stop attacking other posters people!
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BurntCaregiver Oct 2022
Most people assume that she's a Sleep Duty aide because when a family hires an overnight person for an elder it's just to have someone nearby because the elder is asleep. No overnight homecare aide provides food and entertainment for a client. That's not how it works.
Their job is mainly diaper changing or toileting a couple of times in the overnight, making sure the client hasn't fallen, and repositioning a client in bed. If a med has to be given, sometimes they do that but not very often. That's what it is.
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@MargaretMcKen

First of all, you don't know what kind of caregiver I was because I never worked for you. That being said you may commence with the sand pounding now.
Second, I would not have consistently stayed employed in this field for 25 years if I wasn't good at it and mind you the last 15 of those years were private-duty care cases. Families in need of a caregiver look for me. That was by word of mouth and references.
You don't get those if you aren't good at a job.
The number one reason why a client or their family has a problem with the home caregiver is lack of honesty on the part of the people hiring a caregiver and/or with the agency they come from.
Lack of honesty about what the client needs are and what the family expects. Lack of honesty and communication from the agency to their aide about what the job actually is and how much care the client needs.
Granted the aide the OP hired for her mother should certainly have asked permission before using their shower. No one should just assume it's okay to shower at another person's house. That has nothing to do with someone being a homecare aide. That's just basic respect and manners.
You would also be much mistaken if you think people working overnight jobs can't get some sleep.
Paramedics do.
Fire fighters do.
Hospital doctors/nurses do.
Police do.
Pilots and flight attendants on long flights do.
These people are on call in the overnight. Since they are not alone on the job they do not have to stay up all night the way a lone security guard somewhere has to.
The OP is in the house when the aide comes in the overnight. There is also only one client who I'm assuming is human and sleeps at some point. So there's no need for the aide to stay up all night. Unless of course they are being paid to.
The difference in pay between a Sleep Duty aide and one that has to stay up all night is big. You want up all night? You pay for up all night.
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cwillie Oct 2022
Uhm, I'm not sure why you are going off on Margaret, as far as i can see she was defending you (I'm guessing the nasty comments you are reacting to should have been in quotes)
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@MargaretMcKen

OMG! Please accept my apologies and totally disregard my post to you.
I misread it and I am so sorry. You know that I agree with your advice and assessments of most situations that people post here because you are a wise woman.
I misread the thread and I apologize sincerely if my comment was offensive to you.
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MargaretMcKen Oct 2022
No worries, Burnt. The only people I get a knife into are trolls, not you!
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