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For the past three years, I have been taking care of my husband since his stroke, all while working full-time as a hospital transporter. Home life is full of medical appointments, keeping house, pharmacy trips, balanced with working 50 hours a week.
I regret my people-pleasing tendencies at work and have grown deeply resentful of my coworkers, who always seem to expect me to handle everything. I despise the sound of my name being called, and I often feel irritable and short-tempered.
I constantly feel like the odd one out, never receiving support while everyone else is considered. I've considered looking for another job where I can be alone.
My husband and I have a strong marriage, all things considered, but he doesn’t understand my bitter outlook on life. He tries to listen to me but he isn't living my half of our life.
I feel alone most of the time. Sometimes I want to melt down and take a psych vacation.
I just wanted to share this with anyone willing to listen.
Thank you.

I am so sorry you are feeling like this. I think any of us could turn into a "bog witch" with a load like you are carrying. It sounds to me like you are burnt out, and that's not surprising.

Can you find some ways to get help at home to lighten your load there?
Can you take a vacation - or at last a short break - to find time for yourself?
Could you get some counselling to help you with your people pleasing tendencies? Some jobs have employee assistance programs.
Could you build in more time for you and things you enjoy?

I wish you all the best in finding a better balance in your life. I think the load you are carrying is much too heavy to sustain. You need to look after yourself.
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Reply to golden23
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I hear you. Grumpy Bog Witch is a great description.
I'm stuck in this 3 years, and not the same person anymore.
My enthusiasm left the building.
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Reply to Dawn88
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“Grumpy bog witch”! 🧙 Lol! Good for you for keeping your sense of humor in the midst of it all.

50 hours a week … And then each day you go home to a second shift. That sounds extremely tiring. 😞

I hope there is some way you can carve out more time FOR YOU.
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Reply to SnoopyLove
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I’m sorry for the obvious pain you’re experiencing. Caring for a husband post stoke is a lot. Has he had therapy and some good degree of recovery? I hope so. Consider options to cut down on things you have to do, for example, using mail order pharmacy or delivery service. The resentment at work is hurting only you, time for a plan to change it. I don’t think working alone is wise, more isolation isn’t good when your home life is already limiting. Maybe you could transfer to another job at the hospital? Or try something else entirely? I now work in a field completely different than anything I’ve ever done before and enjoy it a lot. Getting some counseling is never a bad idea when life gets overwhelming. There is hope for things to be better, it will take you having the courage to take steps to change your situation. I wish you healing and peace
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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