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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mom (84 Alzheimer's) said last night on phone conversation, ".....well, let's put it this way: I'm not getting any better. It won't be long now." What do you say to that? Do people really know if the end is near?
I absolutely believe there are some who know their time is drawing close. My father is one. He told me he “didn’t have too many days left in this world” and was gone a week later. He passed from Cdiff and was in an extended care facility as my mom was not able to care for him at home. I told him when God was ready for him he would know. It was gut wrenching, as a daddy’s girl, to have the talk but I wanted his peace more than mine. That is what I now tell my 93 yr old mother. She says it often and ai just say “when God is ready for you, you will know”.
This can be a way to "push your buttons" But it can be a great place to start a conversation. What measures do you want taken..... What funeral plans do you want to make.....what type of casket, burial, cremation, music... Is there anything you want to do? Granted with dementia this conversation may go no where.
And yes some people do "know" when the end is near. I have to ask is she on Hospice? If so the Hospice Team can let you know what signs to look for and help you both.
Probably not. My grandmother was sure she was dying for decades before she really went. My mom told everyone she would be dead by Christmas. That was over 5 years ago. My husband's grandfather was so sure he was not dying he spoke of buying a new car. He died not long after. Superstition plays a big role in this. A person makes such a statement and actually does die and people think, "See! They always know!" People usually don't know.
My dad, without dementia, said things like that often. I just said I understood. He’d truly had enough of this world, and after watching him lose his wife, many friends, relatives, abilities, and his health, it did make sense to me. Whether he really knew, I’m not sure, but if anyone ever willed their way out of this world it was him, and it was understandable
Well with your mom having Alzheimer's/dementia the end most certainly is near. And yes I do believe that some people have a premonition that death isn't far off. So next time your mom says that, perhaps you should just ask well since it won't be long are there any things you need to take care of, or anyone you need to forgive before you leave this world for the next? No one should be afraid of talking about dying and death as we're all going to do it one day.
Thank you. I do have her signed up for palliative care so I think I will ask for a clergy visit for her. That might be nice for her. I will plan to be there and talk with her afterwards about her next chapter. Thank you for your comment/thoughts and caring enough to reply.
If my mother was any indication, no. She was "dying" for 60 years and lived until she was 95 with advanced dementia and CHF.
If your mother is basically living alone, which is not recommended, then I'm sure she's self sufficient enough to not be in the advanced stages of AD. If she is, then she needs 24/7 care.
We must have had the same mother! My mother started dying when I was 11 or 12 and she was 35. In case I hadn't gotten the message, she enhanced it with threats to kill herself. She "almost died on the couch one day" when I was at school, but her deceased brother hovered over her and said she still had work to do on earth and told her to go back. (!!!???) Mom passed at 95 of dementia, but had heart troubles (she said) for years before that. Heavy smoker from age 15 to 65. We need a Bad Mother's Day for those who weren't always so sweet.
That's a good thought. She is still on her own, but now has a caregiver Mon/Wed/Fri 10am-3pm. She is on Lexapro and has been for about 2mo now although dose was increased from 5mg to 10mg. Maybe she is just frustrated with her decline in mental ability which has markedly declined over the past year.
Mother lives alone and only has part time caregiver three days a week, and is alone all the rest of the time and overnight with having Alzheimers? That does not seem safe. There could be all sorts of things that could go wrong without supervision, fire, fall, overdose on medications...
Since your last post about your Mom was almost a year ago, and she was at that time living in her own home... has much changed since then? Does she have any other medical conditions (like HBP, KCD, CHF, etc)?
IMO unless someone is closer to hospice care, I think what your Mom said is expressing her dismay with her life and health circumstances. Maybe your Mom needs something for depression if she's not already on something.
So, maybe you suggest that it's very common to be depressed about age-related decline but there are medications that can help with it, and would she be willing to just talk to her doctor about it.
I wish you wisdom and peace in your heart on this journey.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
But it can be a great place to start a conversation.
What measures do you want taken.....
What funeral plans do you want to make.....what type of casket, burial, cremation, music...
Is there anything you want to do?
Granted with dementia this conversation may go no where.
And yes some people do "know" when the end is near.
I have to ask is she on Hospice? If so the Hospice Team can let you know what signs to look for and help you both.
No one should be afraid of talking about dying and death as we're all going to do it one day.
If your mother is basically living alone, which is not recommended, then I'm sure she's self sufficient enough to not be in the advanced stages of AD. If she is, then she needs 24/7 care.
IMO unless someone is closer to hospice care, I think what your Mom said is expressing her dismay with her life and health circumstances. Maybe your Mom needs something for depression if she's not already on something.
So, maybe you suggest that it's very common to be depressed about age-related decline but there are medications that can help with it, and would she be willing to just talk to her doctor about it.
I wish you wisdom and peace in your heart on this journey.