Hi there, Since I’ve become my mom’s care provider about 4 years ago, I’ve noticed how bad my memory has become. It started about 2 years ago, or so. Anyway, those close to me don’t think it’s a big deal; including my doctor. So where do I go now? Does anyone know what specific words I can use the next time I see the doc? Family & friends tell me it’s normal for this to happen after retirement because a person isn’t required to “be on the ball” like they were when they were working. I retired when I was 56, now I’m 62 and it’s frightening how bad my memory is! Any advice? I’d appreciate it. Thanks!
If you feel that you might have a medical issue get a second opinion. You must take care of yourself. You are important!! You are loved and needed by many other people, not just your Mom. Love yourself and follow through on taking care of you in all aspects of your life. Don't let another person/s rule your life. I know..... easier said than done. Your in my prayers. God bless you, sister.
I want to learn a language or a musical instrument to create a reserve of new neural pathways; sort of like insurance against a future with dementia. Anybody got a good dulcimer they want to sell? (o; I would prefer an instrument to learning Spanish! My DNA shows no markers for early or late-onset Alzheimer's; though that doesn't mean I won't "get" it.
I talked to my doctor about it. She said to keep doing what I'm doing, stay socially connected, etc. I just do the best I can and pray a lot.
Depression can happen at any age, and can be clinical and ongoing, or sometimes just episodic and temporary. I'll share my own experience as an example:
Several years ago when I started at my current job, I was only 29 years old. I was in a different city than our main office, and my coworker had only been hired 3 weeks before me. I had a few half days of shadowing others as my "training," but had to figure things out on my own. Four months in, my supervisor left, and I had no supervisor for many months. I was so stressed--I felt like I had no idea what I was doing, I had no training, no one to turn to for help, and one of the higher-ups had taken me to task for a few things. I was getting sick all the time, and I honestly felt like I was losing my mind, and genuinely worried that there was something wrong with my brain. I couldn't concentrate, I couldn't remember things, I got flustered really easily, I was having trouble sleeping. I realized that I was stressed and depressed! Even just discovering that made me feel better, as I knew there wasn't anything "wrong" with me, I was just going through something stressful and hard, and it would get better. I utilized some resources through work to get some help, and things did get better.
I wonder if there is a respite program or caregiver support program where you are? Such a program might have some good help and resources for you, such as some respite care to give you a break, or counseling available to help you with coping. You might contact your local Area Agency on Aging to see if there's anything like that available--if you don't know the AAA, you can use a search tool on eldercare.gov website and search by city/state or ZIP code.
I most assuredly run under a LOT of stress at times. Have been working on letting go of a LOT of things I can't change. I sleep terribly---up 4-6 times a night. I have been on so many meds to help me sleep, and most nights, I just...don't. (PTSD side effects, so at least I have name to put to the problem--but I can't seem to solve it!)
I am also a huge fan of calendars and post it notes. I keep one BIG calendar in the kitchen that is for 'family' but it's really just for me. All appts., general 'need to know' stuff is written down, along with all birthdays I want to remember. This is for DH too, but he puts stuff in his phone--and then forgets it, so I am not real impressed by the phone being my backup.
Once I have written down the events, I can relax. It's like my brain is on the calendar.
Back in the day when all 5 kids lived at home, I was on 3 PTA boards, hubby traveled 3 weeks a month, I had a very stressful church calling--I was a Franklin Covey devotee!! I kept the pages from about 7 years of that period of my life--I look at them and can't believe how much I did in a day/week/month.
Also, I have found my ALEXA to be a huge help. I tell 'her' to remind me of something and when I ask her what I needed to remember, she does. I can plan a shopping list over the course of a few days and it is transferred to my phone, automatically.
I'm glad to know I am not alone.
*Brush your teeth with your opposite hand.
*Turn some pictures in your home upside down.
Doing these things will cause your brain to make some new connections, and you may notice within a week (I did!) some improvement. My MIL also noticed improvement when she began the teeth brushing thing. The hardest part was to remember to do it, lol. I put a post-it on the bathroom mirror. I had read these tips years ago in some article...there were other tips, but these two were the easiest. I hope that this will be all you need, and not a new doctor.
Don't mean to scare you - but the median age for Alzheimer's disease is now only 62. One should not rule out that you could be developing some type of memory illness yourself.
For myself I've noticed a rapid decline in memory and yes while I do have a lot going on at the same time, this is much worse than normal. Just did a bunch of tests yesterday, and hoping this is more of a Thyroid problem than a blockage problem.
At any rate, I mentioned that I wanted to get a referral for the Cleveland Clinic, so that I could make an appointment, and the doctor was happy to comply - even agreeing that it would be a good idea. From everything I'm reading, both Alz and Dementia can be managed diseases, especially when caught before much of the brain damage has been done.
I will admit that when I was trying to care for my LO with dementia, work full time, care for senior parents, etc. IT was VERY stressful. It caused me many health problems, in addition to playing havoc on my mental state. I was convinced that I had to have some kind of cognitive decline. I was so afraid. But, I got my physical health on back on track, got help for LO so, relief from caregiver overload and starting taking Coconut oil capsules (I know it sounds odd and isn't proven, but, it does help me. I take fish oil too.) And before too long I was feeling much better and even better than I had in many years. So, I was wrong about it.
I hope you can find your answers. I'd consider options though, because sometimes, it's just that you need respite.
Of course if your memory problems have you worried absolutely find a Dr for an evaluation.
I just remembered something I will share.
My Mom was evaluated by a Geriatric Psychiatrist for a mood disorder after she had developed Dementia. There was a point that this Dr thought Mom might not have a true Dementia at all but a pseudo dementia caused by a Depressive Disorder.
Just thought I would throw that out there as another avenue you might want to explore.
I have a black zip binder/planner that I used a lot when my kids were in High School. I bought current pages for it but haven’t used it for a couple months. I just pulled it out. It’s a Franklin Covey.
My family has always called it MY BRAIN!
Not a go go go vacation rather pick a water side place for long walks, a hammock in the sun, dinner out that is served nicely, a bottle or 2 of wine, close to a morning coffee shop that has speciality baked goods so good that you are picking tomorrow's before you leave, a spa day etc - you get the pix just relax & enjoy
If there are siblings then tell them[DON'T ASK] that you are going away & give them a choice of 2 or 3 time slots & if they can't accommodate then they pay for help so you can recharge - it will be good for you both - leave your cell phone at home too so that you are not on call continuously
Doctors will blow you off. Absolutely and positively. But you know yourself better than anyone. If you are concerned, don't stop asking for help. Memory problems can be caused by lots of physical things that can be alleviated. Thyroid trouble, low B vitamins, dehydration, UTI...all can affect your memory. I find the Nurse Practitioners are more open to hearing my concerns without patting me on the head and sending me on my way.
If the doctor responds with some version of "I wouldn't worry about it", politely ask that they consider what else it could be besides nothing. Good luck.
Thanks again...so much. This is a jewel of a forum
What language are you trying to learn?
In the ten years I cared for my husband, I think I missed his pill doses twice. For myself, I miss pill doses at least twice a month. I missed trash pickup day a couple of times this winter. I never forgot mealtimes when I was taking care of Coy. I regularly get involved in something and keep going without stopping to eat.
I've never been good with names. I'm pretty hopeless now.
heysilky, what kinds of things are you forgetting? If you forget that Tuesday is trash pickup day, or you thought today was Monday, oh well. If you can't remember what a waste basket is or why there is one in your kitchen, that is considerably more concerning.
So you forget what day it is. Do you remember how to find out? Are you mostly forgetting facts (who is vice president?) or processes (how to I use this coffee maker?)
I suggest keeping track of things you forget (after you remember that you forgot them, of course.) so you can discuss it more specifically with your doctor.
Meanwhile, relax. Stress isn't good for you memory, you know!