I have no time to myself and work full-time. I dread seeing her number on the caller ID. I love both of my parents, but I have no time to myself. She will call early in the morning if she knows I am off from work to see if I am coming over. Even if I say no, she will call back continually until I finally give in and go over. I have no time to rest or socialize or even clean my house.
The center suggested that i join a dementia care support group-so here I am. It is a comfort to know that there are others going through similar situations that i am going through.
I'd first read a lot about the behaviors that come with dementia. That way, you can anticipate things that may develop as she progresses. My first question would be who is supervising your mom now during the day? I take it that she lives in her own home. Is your dad there as well? Does he see what's happening? Does he understand that he may need to stop it and if so, does he have the tools to help stop it?
At some point, the person with dementia needs supervising, because they are not able to process their time and activities. They also may become confused, scared, and anxious. That's why my LO called me so much. She would tell me that things looked strange, different and she felt that she was in a dream. So, I can see why they want loved ones near them. They need comfort and reassurance. Only, it may need to be continuance, all day with another person. Can she afford for that kind of service?
I might explore getting her help during the day who can redirect her attention to other things and not calling you so much. Also, what about Senior Day Centers? Some are set up for dementia patients. Also, some people let the call go to voice mail and then you call her back when you can.
I'd keep in mind that she likely has no memory of how many times she calls you. Each time, is like the first to her.
If she's overly anxious, I'd discuss medication with her doctor. That helped my LO and she wasn't so anxious, worried and scared, so she didn't need me around so much.
I'd keep in mind that this behavior often comes in stages and it may not last long. Eventually, the patient may lose interest in calling or lose the skills to use the phone and cannot call any longer. It varies.
I hope you get some more suggestions and find some ideas that might help.