Hello,my mother was recently diagnosed with an aggressive leukemia. We have had a strained past few years and have started to reconnect (where I feel safe) over this past year. Her overall prognosis isnt good.I feel like Im grieving already, I am scared to deal with my dad (he is an emotional mess with sadness) and just struggling all around. Then my husband is just mad at me for feeling sad because there is nothing more I can do, they are at an age “where something is going to get them”. So I feel like I have to really control my own emotions so he thinks I have it together when Im really falling apart here. I leave my phone at home because im so scared to get a phone call about one more negative thing. Like last jight my dad called it twice. I didn’t call back as I just went to lie in bed, unable to deal with anything. I feel depressed. Im trying to find a balance of support while not over involving myself. Its a lot, Im overwhelmed and just need some advice for anyone else who has experienced something like this.
This is so tough and your kind words are appreciated. It’s the worst part of life….. dealing with death. Ive never been comfortable with it.
Give yourself permission to feel, let others also feel what they feel.
"Tears are God's gift to us. Our holy water. They heal us as they flow.”
― Rita Schiano
Wishing you peace and strength as you navigate this difficult time.
I also gently suggest counseling to deal with your marriage issues.
Good luck and HUGS
If it makes you feel any better, my husband is a lot like this. He is the logical one in our relationship. Sometimes his mansplaining gets really annoying when all you want is a hug and a little empathy, After 40 something years of this, I finally told him that I really don't want to hear why I am wrong to feel the way I do, I am entitled to my emotions. I told him all I want him to say to me when I come to him about an upsetting situation is this: "I am sorry you feel this way". That's it. nothing else, And that's what he does now. I don't get so angry at him anymore. Maybe you should try it,
I hope you have some girlfriends who can support you emotionally as you go through this awful time. That's how I get through my life -- with a little help from my friends.
(((hugs)))
In your first post, March 2025, you say you parents are in their early 70s. You think that Mom has dementia because of personality changes. Has she been formally diagnoised yet? If not she needs to be. Because decisions concerning her treatment could depend on that diagnosis. Chemo treatments are hard on the body and the mind.
My Mom, at 86, was pretty much into her dementia which got worse by the month. If it was found she had any type of cancer, I would not have put her thru treatments.