My mother has always been bad with money. Her and my Dad lived apart for over 40 years, but when he got sick, she took him in and took his money. My Dad has since passed and she retired. Her memory is getting sketchy and she's spending massive amounts of money on lotto. She now expects her children to supplement her spending if she runs out of money. She has not admitted to playing lotto. Claims she loses her money. Within a week she took out over $500 but didn't have $10 to purchase cat food. Her fridge is always empty. When questioned, she deflects the question by asking, why are you looking at my bank account. When I tell her to be mindful of what she spends her money on, she gets defensive. When her bank balance gets very low, she goes to the bank asking where her money went. She has accused me in the past of "stealing" her money. When I remind her that I supplement her social security so she has extra spending money, she tells me she'll pay me back (which of course she doesn't because she has no money). I do have an appointment with an Elder Care Lawyer. I made arrangements to have her social security deposited into an account she has no access to and will transfer spending money into her account. My question is, if I spoke with the store owner and requested that he doesn't take the $100 per day she is spending on lotto and he doesn't agree, is there something legally I can do to stop him from taking her money? My mother is 85 years old. Thank you.
Stop providing for her. Let natural consequences occur.
Are your siblings also supplementing her SS income, or is it just you?
Why are you enabling her?
(And I don't think it's any shop owner's responsibility to rein in your mother's spending.)
My main concern here is the fact that you're helping to supplement your mothers income with your own money. You do know that that's called enabling right?
I mean WTH are you thinking? If she spends all her money on the lotto and has no money left to buy food or pay her bills, well...that's on her not you.
I find it interesting that you feel the need to continue to bail her out. You do know that she'll never change as long as you continue to do that, at least I hope you do.
Let her suffer the consequences of her poor choices. It will only be then that things may turn around. But as long as you're there to pick up the pieces, things will never change.
Are you the POA? If not it may be too late for Mom to confer that upon you. You may require guardianship to manage mom's finances if she is judged incompetent. I will tell you that doing this for an uncooperative senior can be a nightmare; it's hard enough when dealing with an organized and willing senior.
I think that you are going to learn a lot with your elder law attorney and hope you will come back HERE and tell us just WHAT you did learn. It would be a huge service to others, because you are not alone in this. I wish you good luck. Either mom is incompetent and needs a financial guardian, or she is not and will lose all her money pretty quickly. Only the laws can help now for her protection. Or not. I am so sorry you are going through this and I wish you the best of luck.
Get it straightened out with attorney, establish boundaries and stick to them, no gambling money, if need be order food for her online, have it delivered.
Best of luck!
At her age and she likely has dementia so she isn't going to get recovery from her gambling addiction.
She should be allowed a few lottery tickets a day and a POA has to be in charge of appropriating her funds.
If you give her spending money from her own funds give her 5.00 a day to waste on the lottery. It's not up to you to buy her groceries etc when she is spending her money on crap.
And I am still sick of these selfish old people who do crap like this.
What is wrong
Prayers
See All Answers