Mom is on a rollator and has not been able to go to the store without having someone with her since September when she moved in with me. Yesterday I had some errands to run and she asked if I would drop her off at CVS* so she could buy a few things. I said sure. So I left her at the store and went about my business. About 30 minutes later I returned and she had all the things she wanted to buy and we checked out. It made her very happy to be able to do this, and she wants to do it again. She wants to go to a local outlet store and spend maybe an hour there. I'm all for it, but wanted to get some other opinions. Does this sound like a good idea?
* CVS is a chain of drug stores in the U.S.
Make sure you put a slip of paper with your cell number and address in her pocket, purse etc. That way if she needs help you can easily be reached.
I used to take him to Costco or Sam's club for exercise, helped him talk to anyone that would listen and build his stamina. He pushed the cart (no walker, no way) because I live in AZ and stores have seating throughout because we are a large retirement and snowbird destination.
It helped him regain his confidence and independence to a large degree. He was tickled pink to do it alone.
If not you, can someone stay with her, keep an eye out for her?
But also give her some space?
It is a very good sign that she wants to go places still. And actually
was able to ask you for that. imo.
It does not need to be you that takes her. Hire a friend, or senior companion.
A moments respite for you, because you are going to need it.
To build her confidence (and your confidence in her) do what you can to get her to exercise and further strengthen her endurance.
It sounds like your mom has had great physical therapy. She probably has exhausted the benefits, but if she hasn’t, see if you can get more—so she can continue to get even stronger and more independent with her new hip (and walker). You might see if you can extend the benefits— if they work with her (for example) on a cane. (I’m not suggesting she get rid of the walker, just that she get as much therapy as possible and this might be an avenue).
Aungment this therapy by helping her grow even more independent. if you can, take her to shopping malls and build her endurance (slowly) by walking with her as far as she comfortably can. Take breaks as needed and continue as long as reasonable.
I did this with each of my parents (since it worked with one parent, I also did this with the other). We went from bench to bench and sat down. The first day our breaks were long. I liked the idea of going to an indoor mall because it eliminated weather excuses and the surface was very flat and smooth. (If they wanted to take a walk outside, we would get in our routine “mall walk” first). They were not using a walker, but were heavily leaning on me. If they wanted to go in a shop, we waited until after the “workout.” Within weeks for each, we had built up to miles without a break. It was amazing (a miracle to me)!
If you build up your Mom’s endurance, you will feel increasingly comfortable dropping her off. You will know exactly how long she can go without needing a long break. Walking (with you) at the mall will give her more experience navigating crowds successfully with her walker.
Start with empty malls - build up to crowded ones. You will be amazed by her progress.
Thank you, sincerely, for caring for your mother. I loved taking care of my parents—wasn’t always easy, but this was very important to me. Whenever I see someone like you, out with their parent, it lifts my heart.
Having Parkinson's disease is a struggle for her. Being a neurological disease her brain will say go but her body can't always follow. I surely hope I don't get it. It's a tough situation for Parkinson's patients.
When she seems able, I think giving her one or two choices in places to go or what she wants to eat is great. When she seems more confused, I just decide for her. God bless you for taking the time to spend to be with her! 💓
See All Answers