Mother says I am the reason she "has to" go to a nursing home. Even though I've bent over backwards to help her - so has my husband. I'd like to just walk away from the situation but, she's 97 and really has no one else. I think she's going to make me POA although she hasn't bothered to tell me, as usual. Oh well, she will have some good stories for the nursing home about her horrible daughter and her terrible son-in-law.
Now make a list of things to do that will soothe your wounded soul. And do them!
We placed my mother in care and had a carefree uninterrupted day of family fun in Niagara Falls. Even bought myself a 5lb Hershey Bar. The weight of the world lifted from my shoulders! (then planted itself on my belly and butt)
If your mother wishes to label you, then embrace the labels, smile at her, and walk away. Take up sewing, knitting, gardening, grandkids or kids or volunteering. I foster dogs. I recommend it. Foster kittens if you prefer it. Cook up huge batches of great things to eat.
Why do you choose the negativity of your mother? Your repeating it to everyone you meat creates habitual paths in your brain that engrave her words indelibly.
How about sitting with hubby tonight, nice glass of wine and plan your next vacation?
How about sitting with hubby tonight, nice glass of wine and watch a fun movie?
My partner and I recommend Shogun on Hulu and FX.
Have FUN!
Just as you can speak.. or ask "Did you get old Mother? Why did you do that?"
I’m going to tell you what I told my mother when she pulled that crap about me being the reason .
”Mother, I did not make you old , I can’t fix old .”
And yeah my mother told all kinds of lies about her “ rotten daughter “ .
Sorry .
It didn't matter if I showed them my Medicare card or flashed my AARP membership, they still thought I could go to Home Depot and get them 30 bags of mulch.... [sigh].
Isn't the reason she needs a skilled nursing facility her failing health and frailty?
Those didn't happen because of you.
What do you think having POA means? Not doing her bidding, if it's not within the realm of your ability. Get that clear in your head.
I am past caring, was a while ago.
As soon as matters are settled, I'm going no contact or at least low contact.
She is sick in the head and should've been in a nuthouse years ago.
Now get on to happier thoughts.
What are your plans for happy memories you will now make for you and your hubby?
When you can forgive you Mom her severe limitations and move one with a good life you will know you are healed.