Last week psychical therapy came out to help my 85 yr old MIL in he short comings. She flat out said she didn't need or want help and was discharged! Now with occupational therapy all they have asked her to do is wear a sling for 4 hours twice a day to keep she shoulder from slipping out of socket and to allow for more breathing capacity also to wear an ace wrap at night to keep her poor fingers from digging into the palm of her hand. MIL has osteoarthritis, Stage 3 COPD, congestive heart failure, past major stroke and is also on high doceage of bloodthinner. I'm frustrated, confused, stressed and hurt all at the same time. How do I handle her refusal for help that concerns her quality of life?
Please help.
Your MIL - if she doesn't want to do anything to improve her health, there's really not much you can do. Maybe find an incentive for her to work on it? Is there a way to explain to her that if she did this and that with her health, that it would make it so much easier for her to stay with you? But, because she's not helping herself, and you cannot do it by yourself, then she will need a more 24-hour care that you are not able to provide? Like how the doctor got my dad to do the PT when he was in the hospital. His Goal - was home. It's hard to say, with your MIL, if that would work.
FYI, my dad had pneumonia last year. I knew it. I tried to get him to go to the doctor. He refused. He wanted to die. I called the ambulance. He refused their services. I called adult protective services (APS), the elder law attorney, his insurance - they all told me that it is my dad's decision. If he doesn't want medical help - there's nothing they can do. If he wants to die, there's nothing they can do. He finally had me call 911 because he had problems breathing and chest pain (his left lung was almost filled up with fluid.) He couldn't handle the pain and the breathing difficulty.
You can try convincing her, of course. You may have some leverage if she needs your help with some things and you say you won't continue to help if she won't help herself by doing some PT. But the bottom line is that it is her decision.
Sorry.