My mother has dementia, chronic congestive heart failure, acute congestive heart failure on top of chronic CHF, dem/alz w/personality distur. (She is under my court ordered guardianship) She signed herself out and left with somebody I do not know. Nurse on duty called me two days after the event to say, "your mother pulled a fast one." They placed an elopement bracelet on her, but have since removed it. I spoke to the facility admin who said, "let us do our own internal investigation." Go a call from the unit social worker who seemed to be in lah lah land. She said to me, "your mother doesn't have a copy of the guardianship order." I said WTF? It was delivered directly to her 1.5 years ago and caused a huge explosion of threats etc. Then the social worker said, "oh, well that was done by a different social worker who has since left." WTF!!!!! I said, "in no uncertain terms is my mother to leave the facility unless it is with me." Totally upset by this. Any insight?
Ask yourself, "Why is this happening, I thought she was going to be cared for".
Please give up the idea that your mother snuck out-behaviors are no longer her fault-and look at this as a reportable offence, and protect her future safety.
You say you hate to call the cops in. You need to document this, and ask for a copy of the "incident report" by the facility. If there is none, that again is just another red red flag. Thankful that perhaps no harm came to your Mom does not protect her from future harm. Sorry you have to be the responsible one for your Mother. Sorry that her illness causes her to say things like, "You are not the boss of me!", but legally she is your charge-don't let her, or anyone, intimidate you!
Maybe you can plan a day off premises with her, see how that goes, if she is allowed. Would you need the docor's permission? Did this "man/stranger" need the doctor's permission? Find out what their policy is to have a patient leave the premises.
Or, you can just ignore the advice. Good luck to you and your Mom.
P.S. If it was my Mom, I would help her escape that place-in my dreams!
I would contact State Ombudsman
I would contact local police in writing to let them know that your mother was abducted. If you are her guardian and she in a facility, it's the same as if a child was taken from a school.
I would make sure gps tracking device is on mom.
I would send certified letter to the faciliity, cc to Ombudsman. Stste attorney general and joint commission outlining the issue and asking what their plan is for remediation of the issue and its prevention.
Anyone could have taken her to the bank, opened an account-even as 'husband and wife' in a different name!
Please, at least do your own investigation.
A crime may have been committed, and at this point you don't know. Assault on an elderly woman? Kidnapping for identity fraud purposes. Some kind of exploitation? Could be, the nurse's boyfriend, they have a plan?
Just anything could have happened. Go for help.