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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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Reading your profile, I'm wondering if mom is on any medication for her hallucinations? If not, you may want to speak to her doctor about what she's suffering with, because there should be SOME relief for the poor woman. At least some calming meds like Ativan can help with the loop thinking patterns, as it did for my mother.
My mother had pretty advanced dementia when she started insisting her Memory Care Assisted Living was a hotel. And that her caregivers were taking her to a new and different hotel every night, after a lovely dinner at their home and a night of entertainment. Her only question to me was "how did all my stuff get into the new hotel?" She wasn't upset by any of these happenings, so I went along with it.
You cannot convince your mother that what she believes to be true is, in fact, false. So tell her when the new LUXURIOUS suite is finished being built, then she can move into it. For now, though, she's safe and secure in her current suite. Rinse and repeat repeat REPEAT as needed until she moves onto a new topic and forgets all about moving. Distract her as well and change the subject.
Thank you Lealonnie1 for your reply! I have tried going along with these moving stories, until it back fired & she said,”I haven’t been moving at all, so why didn’t you tell me that!” Then I was stuck for words! Lol
My mom was on the SNF floor of her facility and she loved it there. One day the “Suits” were walking around the floor, the executives did that from time to time. Well my mom got it in her head the place was being sold and she had to find another place to go. I said we would have gotten a letter if that were the case. I told the SW our conversation, and SW said that the Residents pick up part of a conversation of what they think they heard and run with it. So, the facility never got sold and mom never mentioned it again.
Does she know she is on the list for MC? I wonder if that could by part of why she's thinking that she needs to move out? Regardless, I agree with prior message to just say something like "No, mom, you're all set and will be staying here." Keep it vague and short.
2 year wait list to get into MC? Geez that's long!
Hi, yes she knows she’s on the list for MC. When my folks moved into their AL suite, they had a flood and had to move out. My Dad landed in hospital & my Mom was moved into a “Show Suite” temporarily until a new permanent suite was found. Then she moved to their new permanent suite while Dad was still in hospital. All this happened within a year of them selling their home, which they had lived in for 58 years. It makes sense that she would be confused for sure.
They get stuck on this stuff. Just let her say it, and then reassure her that it isn't the case. She likely does this with staff, as well. And THEY will reassure her. But as far as long term convincing her of anything, you cannot convince a broken brain. When this obsession is done there will be another. Just gentle as she goes, and reassure, and try to deflect onto something else. But in honestly this happens commonly and there's just no fixing some things. Best out to you.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My mother had pretty advanced dementia when she started insisting her Memory Care Assisted Living was a hotel. And that her caregivers were taking her to a new and different hotel every night, after a lovely dinner at their home and a night of entertainment. Her only question to me was "how did all my stuff get into the new hotel?" She wasn't upset by any of these happenings, so I went along with it.
You cannot convince your mother that what she believes to be true is, in fact, false. So tell her when the new LUXURIOUS suite is finished being built, then she can move into it. For now, though, she's safe and secure in her current suite. Rinse and repeat repeat REPEAT as needed until she moves onto a new topic and forgets all about moving. Distract her as well and change the subject.
I have tried going along with these moving stories, until it back fired & she said,”I haven’t been moving at all, so why didn’t you tell me that!”
Then I was stuck for words! Lol
2 year wait list to get into MC? Geez that's long!
It makes sense that she would be confused for sure.
Just let her say it, and then reassure her that it isn't the case.
She likely does this with staff, as well.
And THEY will reassure her.
But as far as long term convincing her of anything, you cannot convince a broken brain. When this obsession is done there will be another.
Just gentle as she goes, and reassure, and try to deflect onto something else.
But in honestly this happens commonly and there's just no fixing some things.
Best out to you.