Waiting in an airport takes time and the flight is 3 hours. I know an accident will happen but have no idea how we could clean up on an airplane? Obviously she wears depends but those don't work very well with bowel incontinence. They leak. Plus there is the factor of her fellow passengers. Anyway to make this work? Are there any medications that would help?
Someone also mentioned hear how tight things are getting on commercial airlines. Putting people through the misery described in that post is something you can take to the people who are over the airlines since they don't have taller people in mind. What they need to do instead of cramming in more seats and cramming people into them like sardines is maybe put in a second level like a two floor plane. Restore the space and let customers have their leg room back. Not everyone can sit crammed in, some of them may have knee arthritis and not be able to endure even a very short flight let alone three hours. It seems like they don't have certain types of people with physical limits in mind, some of them need leg space and others need to recline a bit due to hip, lumbar arthritis or some other condition that leaves them miserable from sitting too long. They need to install a disability section or best yet make the whole plane disability friendly. Perhaps they should make the whole plane first class for the people with disabilities and maybe this might actually be something you can talk to your state civil rights commission about or maybe even access advocates since different people have different levels of disability in the actual plane seats are not disability friendly and less you get first class. They should actually prioritize people with disabilities and bump them up to first class and turning that section into a disability section should be seriously considered an option that specially since disability access is law everywhere. If someone needs one of those seats are due to a disability then by law the airline must accommodate for the disability as long as it fits into the actual need related to that disability.
Look at another scenario:
Not only are there permanent disabilities but there are also temporary ones. Let's say you just had knee surgery or broke your leg and your placed into a non-bending cast or knee stabilizer. You're not going to put someone in third class with the legroom if they can't bend their knee, especially if they need to keep that leg elevated. These kinds of things is another example of what those first class seats should be for, people who really need them.
Another perfect example is if someone experiences foot and leg swelling and needs to elevate, another group of people that should go into first class where the reclining seats are. Putting people into classes is highly unfair anyway and it looks like they definitely don't have people with disabilities in mind if at all. I've watched YouTube videos about how high of standards are expected of stewardesses so why do you think they're going to provide for your needs unless someone in authority makes it happen? All they care about is money, not the customer and you'd be best off to just take the train and rent an actual sleeping cabin
I know you want to do this for your mom, that is sweet---but there are 200+ more people to think about. One person can ruin a flight for everyone. If your mother has an accident while in flight.....think about all the folks around you--how is that going to impact them?
You say mom has dementia. Does she even KNOW that you're planning this trip and does she care? Does she have the capability to "care" at this stage, or are you doing this for you?
I'm leaving on a LONG airplane trip in 2 days and now my anxiety level just ratcheted up by about 75%. I can take crying babies, fussy kids, belligerent drunks--but OMGosh, an elderly incontinent person with dementia sitting next to me....I'm not a happy traveler in the first place and I try to be nice-but not everyone will be so thrilled to see you board that plane.
The OP hasn't come back--maybe she's made better alternate plans.
The only way this will work is with lots of diapers, pads, underpads and Chux, not to mention Ziploc bags for disposal. People take babies on planes all the time. Hopefully she’d be able to travel first class. Hopefully she will have called the airline previously to make sure she’s bringing what she can.
Let’s just cross our fingers for her and wish her well and not assume the worst as to why she’s doing this. Nothing about caregiving is easy. We all sure know that.
I can tell you, if I was a passenger or flight attendant and you sent an elder with dementia and known bowel incontinence on a plane trip -- I"d be livid. Frankly, I'd consider it irresponsible unless all other options have been exhausted.
I'm suspecting that the plane fare for you is less expensive then a car/train -- but please, consider others and the difficult trip this will be for your loved one.
Can Amtrak get you there? Yes, it might take a few days by train, each way, to get her to where she's going? Long distance Amtrak have sleeper cars, with rooms / roomettes. Even though these are small, you'll have a bathroom and a place to care for your mother. She'll be able to get up and move around. She'll be able to look out the window and watch the world go by. She'll sleep in a real bed. She won't have to deal with fairly abrupt changes in altitude. Let Amtrak know about her when you book her travel. Also, the train isn't so stressful.
Have you thought about taking your mom to where she's going by car? I can understand why you want to fly (faster, cheaper). However, you have to think about your mother's needs as well as the needs of others. With a car, you are in control of how far you drive, when you stop for a break, what you visit along the way, etc. Your mom won't become a major inconvenience / flash point for others.
IMHO, I think it would be very wrong and rude for you to fly your mother. If it is at all possible to get her to where she needs to be using ground (but not bus) transportation, do it.
YOUR MOM IS 90, has Dementia is bowel incontinent,
and You want to bring the Crater on an aeroplane. While You did not mention it, but my guess is that You are moving Your Dear Mom to a New Home probably where Your older Sister will Care for Mom ?
That said, why is this flight necessary?
Talk to her doctor about the trip in general but about her bowel incontinence as well. If she's taking something like Miralax see if the doctor thinks it's ok to stop her Miralax several days ahead of time.
If she's not on an anti-anxiety medication see if the doctor will prescribe one. If you find you have to use it try 1/2 dose first to see how it affects her. You can always give her the other 1/2 in about 30 minutes in you have to.
A prophylactic Immodium is a good idea but discuss with the doctor first. You don't want to bind your mom up and then have a problem getting her back on her regular schedule especially while traveling.
Pack a bag. Depends, meds, as many wipes as you can stuff in there. Pack some high protein snacks and water bottles, Kleenex, chocolate, and anything your mom has that helps to soothe her. Something from home, something familiar. A small photo album or anything that will distract her.
Talk to the airline regarding your mom's incontinence. If you're sitting on the plane and she has a BM people will complain. I know you'll get her to the bathroom as soon as it happens but it's hard to rush a 90 year old with dementia without her becoming agitated, especially if she has to navigate across seats or other passengers and down the aisle.
I wish you luck.