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Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Sometimes just the threat of a nursing home is enough to put a mean mom or dad on good behavior. When the 'mean' music starts playing, make sure she's safe then walk away and completely ignore her. Do not acknowledge her at all. Don't go along with any of the mean behaviors. Don't be supportive if she starts up with nonsense like you or someone else is stealing from her or anything like that. Let her rant and rave for a while alone until she tires herself out and will. Don't give her any attention when she's acting up or lashing out. Sort of like what you have to do with a child having a tantrum. Walk away and they'll stop. Then go to her. This is the tactic I've used with every homecare client I've ever worked for and it always helps.
I went through that meanness with my Mom too. She was always a good Mom and took good care of us as kids. She wasn't that mean until my Dad passed away and then she started favoring the brothers over me. I am the only girl and had 4 brothers, and I realized that my Grandma(Mom's Mom) was the very same way, favored her boys over the girls. I helped take care of my Dad until he passed and then my Mom got Alzheimer's so I had to do more for Mom. When she spilled hot grease all over her leg and arm and had to have skin graft surgery the surgeon asked me if she lived alone and I said yes and he said she could no longer live alone or take the chance of getting hotlined so I had to make other arrangements for her. I didn't want her to go to a nursing home so I brought her to my house to live so I could take care of her. I was her only caregiver and never got any breaks from her, especially towards the end of her life. She got really mean with me several times and yes I lost my cool with her sometimes when she tried hitting me in the face or digging her fingernails in my arm. I told her that she was going to do what I said so I could properly take care of her or else she would have to go in a nursing home. She told me she would kill herself before going into a nursing home, that was before I brought her to my house to live. I took care of Mom in my home for almost 8 years and it got really rough towards the end of her life, my youngest daughter helped me with her. Mom passed away Jan. 2021. I seen Mom take her last breath and knew then she would not be suffering anymore. I don't feel guilty about having to get on to her from time to time, I did the best I could for her and didn't hold it against her for all the times she was mean to me. There are support groups for caregivers and therapy available also, I participated in both of them. I hope your Mom will be nicer to you, especially if you have to take care of her. Good Luck, Take Care and God Bless.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
When the 'mean' music starts playing, make sure she's safe then walk away and completely ignore her. Do not acknowledge her at all. Don't go along with any of the mean behaviors. Don't be supportive if she starts up with nonsense like you or someone else is stealing from her or anything like that. Let her rant and rave for a while alone until she tires herself out and will. Don't give her any attention when she's acting up or lashing out. Sort of like what you have to do with a child having a tantrum. Walk away and they'll stop. Then go to her. This is the tactic I've used with every homecare client I've ever worked for and it always helps.
Tell us more...does she live with you? You with her? How old is she? How is she mean?
I am sorry that your mom is one of the mean moms. If you wish to talk about it, we are here for you and will gladly listen.
Take care.
Do you live together. If so who owns the home?
If you are an “old adult” it is time for you to realize that you no longer have to listen to “mean” whether it comes from your mother or not.
Give yourself permission from this day forward, to ignore her.
Absolutely. Ignoring with love. Sometimes that's the only way a caregiver can keep going.
Do you have anything to add to that -- like a question?