We lost our brothers a week apart of COVID. My sister lived with them in the family home. She is now alone in the home and I worry, she will lock herself out, forgot the stove burner is on, etc. In addition, we are trying to deal with our deceased brothers assets and she is delaying everything and making unreasonable choices. My fear is that she has not kept up with the home and could be fined or put out. I don't know what to expect, she does not live near me, but I know it's not good. How do I find her housing if that happens. Senior Housing has 3 year waiting list and not taking names. Could I get her into assisted living? She doesn't have much money. She is on Medicare, gets Social Security and still works part time. Should I consider section 8 housing for her on a limited budget. Help?
As you have pointed out, Senior housing has a waiting list. Section 8 is a yearly thing. In my State enrollment is coming up. If she has Dementia, it may be slow moving now but things can happen literally overnight. Assisted living is private pay unless your State is one that Medicaid will pay for it. And she may not yet fit the criteria for Longterm care.
I suggest you talk to someone in her County Social Service office and Office of Aging. You will not know what your up against unless u go to her. I would also talk to her employer to see how she is doing on her job.
I think if you are at all able to go for a 1 week visit to get a true idea of what's going on with her. It will also give you the opportunity to have a gentle discuss about the reality of her situation and what realistic solutions exist for her on a limited income and the current housing situation.
In the end, you cannot make her do anything against her will if you are not her PoA and she does not have a diagnosis of cognitive impairment/memory loss. So, the most productive thing you can accomplish is for her to assign you as her durable PoA for both medical and financial, then try to convince her to go to the doctor for a check-up and discretely ask the staff to perform a test for UTI and give her a cognitive exam. Then at least you will know what you're dealing with. You can use a "therapeutic fib" to get her to the doctor, like, "Medicare now requires an annual physical to continue to receive uninterrupted coverage" or whatever you think will she'll believe or motivate her to go. If you can get this done, it will be A LOT easier to help her, even from out of town.
If you can't get any of this done, then you can contact any of her neighbors and friends to tell them to call APS if they perceive she is having problems. That's as much as you can do.
It could be grief effecting your sister & her decision making. Does she have local support?(grief counseling, a good doctor etc)
Does she have a diagnosis of dementia? If not, what leads you to this? Are there specific problems you have heard, know about, suspect?