I'm the one taking care of my 97 yr old mom who now is failing her swallowing test at the hospital that i reported earlier as of 6 days ago she was eating great, and taking drinks in until the pneumonia hit they (hosp) fought hard to get it under control, but they think mom isn't passing their swallow test which the next one were going to be there for it because we were able to give her some nourishment and she took it without choking. the doc said tube feedings of any kinds isn't the way to go. so starve them is the only way. shes alert, talks in her own way shes been dx for 8 yrs and is a fighter so what do i do. don't like the starving method not ok with me, watching her want drinks and food and not giving it to her while she starve.
Their attitude was to let my husband eat whatever he wanted to/could eat,but not to push him to take food. (He "failed" the swallowing test, too.)
Being with a loved one who has started the process of dying is very stressful. Don't discount the value of "support."
It is so hard and I'm sending you my best thoughts and prayers as you go through this difficult time.