Today I filled out the neurologist's intake questionnaire which I have to complete and send in before an appointment will be scheduled. My husband (67) was referred to neuro after I told his primary care physician what I had been noticing in him the past year or two (short term memory loss, inability to focus, nastiness, depression, combatativeness, forgetfulness, etc.). My husband failed several of the cognitive tests the doctor gave him in the office at his recent appointment. I filled out the questionnaire and consulted with my husband on much of it, which sent him into a minor fury as he says he will tell the neuro that he disagrees with what I have been noticing in him. I gave him examples and he denied them all. He said the "issues" I see in him are present because he just doesn't want to bother with things he just does not care about or are not important to him (even if those things are important to me or other people). He claims he ignores and "forgets" anything he is not interested in. He ended the conversation by saying that he is much smarter than he lets others know he is. Is this sort of denial common when dealing with patients in the early stages of cognitive issues? Because, if it turns out that he has just been "playing dumb" from disinterest or apathy these past few years....then we have a whole other problem to deal with. Lastly, this may or may not be significant but one of his doctors noted to another of his doctors in a letter, 7 years ago, that he felt my husband was at risk for vascular disease. We did not even find this out until last fall when we took his records to an endocrinologist that his PCP referred him to for depression, ED, fatigue, mood swings, etc. The endo did not find any problems in blood work done at that time.
If it's not too late, I'd duplicate that questionnaire, let him do his version, and submit it alongside your version. The discrepancies themselves will be revealing.
My point is that if you have family, pointing out their own difficulties, and you are told, not to worry, push for more testing. Now, just before my 60th birthday, I'm looking at being 8yrs down the road already, and I keep bringing up differences I notice. I know I'm declining, and people around me keep saying, quit being a pessimist. Denial can come from the other side of the coin. I saw this happen to an uncle and my stepfather. I knew something was wrong. I still know what is going on now. Family be bold and advocate for your family member that believes they may have a problem.
Fortunately for us, my DW and I were doing retirement planning when I was diagnosed and all of the legal issues have been taken care of. I am grateful, for the three years I've had really enjoying life and the relief that has come from having a diagnosis. Yes, memory problems can develop at a very young mid life time of age. Don't put off the things you want to do until retirement. One may not be in a position where they can enjoy it. I am never bored, but there are a lot of things I can not or shouldn't do and I accept it. I pray, that the coin doesn't flip on me, and that I begin a stage of denial. Perhaps this is not an appropriate response to the question, but it had me wanting to bring forth these thoughts.
The sky is blue, the sun is bright, and we woke up breathing. Be kind to the pensioners, if your lucky one day you may be one.
I too was relieved when I got my diagnosis. I thought finally, I know I'm not making things up, I know I'm not crazy. Thank you for sharing your husbands thoughts with me.
I think you have to weigh out the persons personality and stage of dementia in order to discuss it without creating fear. They know something is wrong, but can't figure it out. I found with a lot of love and interaction my brother accepts his fate... There is a class on dementia that gives you a reality box you strap on your head. It creates everything a dementia patient goes through. I think this should be a mandatory class for all caregivers and family. It was an eye opener to actual live this disease for an hour or how ever long you can take it.
She says she's fine - doesn't matter she doesn't know what she had for breakfast. It's denial based in fear. But as another poster suggested, look up anosognosia. The behavior is likely a common reaction and indicator that something is wrong.
I wish you luck. I wish us all luck.
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