My sister has been in an assisted living facility for about 6 months. In addition to having dementia, she has been known for many years for exaggerating or telling "white lies". She claims "everyone" agrees that the food is inedible..."just awful". "I don't even want to eat anymore." I recall that complaints about the food were voiced when my mother was in a care facility 15 years ago. I'm suspicious that complaints about food are part of the "scene". If not, what's the best way to check up on the food other than spending mealtime there? (I think covid restrictions are still in effect in the dining facilities.)
Secondly, as we age our sense of taste diminishes. So the greatest chef on the planet couldn't fix that.
My Dad has dementia and he doesn't seem to like much of anything if it isn't sweet.
If sis is complaining and you are able to visit at mealtime but can't visit the dining room see if you can't have meals delivered to her room so you can dine together and therefore be able to determine the quality of the food..
Complaints are common in facilities and mom has mentioned others there complaining; and has complained herself from time to time. Recently she says the meals are a lot worse. I would think the meals are regulated by the state to meet nutrition standards - however that doesn't mean they are edible. Plus there is repetition of the revolving menu that may only be changed seasonally. Mom isn't a picky eater and does eat the veggies - and is surprised by the number of residents who don't eat their veggies.
I've never been a fan of where my parents chose to live, it's one of the cheaper options in the area and was at one time owned by the church but has since been sold to a for-profit corporation. The best part of the facility is the number of friends my parents had there and I knew growing up. Such good memories. But many are now moving on to other facilities because of dissatisfaction with what is going on. The for profit corp is horrible, you can't contact corporate and the staff gets into trouble if they provide how to contact.
Mom who over the last couple of years (since dad's death) has been adverse to moving out, now at the last visit asked when she was moving - which I put on hold for numerous personal reasons. Mom's facility is 22 miles - 25 - 30 minutes away. She is upset about numerous things going on there including the food which she says now is not good.
One funny about institutional food - a friend LOVES to eat any and everything they serve at hospital, rehab, etc. Scrambled eggs, cereals, etc at breakfast. Will select these things herself from their menus. At home. Nope. Refuses anything that she requested herself at the facility. Even got her one of their menus to let her pick things because she ate so well in facility. At home, she hates every single item on the menu.
As others have said, it’s what they talk about so she might feel better if you join into fussing about the food instead of trying to prove her wrong.
I would be concerned if you were having to buy smaller or larger clothes, if her blood work was off or other obvious signs something wasn’t working.
I remember reading one of these type posts about what to cook for parents and one of the posters said because of the parents desire for sweets, the poster just sprinkled a bit of sweetener on everything. No more complaints.
My dad once commented that my moms cooking was enhanced by his inability to smell. He got in trouble for that crack. He appreciated a visually appealing plate.
But having made light of her complaints it is of course important that the food be all that it should be. Perhaps you could ask for a dinner to go if you can’t join in. Ask your sister what her favorite dish is and what she thinks would help. It’s good to be heard about something that’s important. Easy for us to dismiss when we have lots of choices.
When you can, go eat a meal for yourself to see. No telling when that will be though. Lots of places still have Covid restrictions. Some places here are only allowing 30 minute scheduled visits in the lobby.
If she tires of eating at the facility, can she order take out on occasion? I have a friend that his mom isn’t dissatisfied with the food at her facility but she tires of it occasionally and her son has the staff order take out from nearby restaurants.
My mom and I had chicken tacos w/ pico de Gallo. Dad had tomato soup and salad. The hubs had a mushroom omelet. Everything was made from scratch. The chicken was very tender. Everything was very fresh but not fancy. Everything was low sodium. No salt shakers on the table. This was a major upgrade from canned soups and packaged meals they were eating at home. They have all the fresh fruit they want, usually apples and oranges. My mom told me she had roast beef and mashed potatoes for Mother's Day and that it was pretty good. ALF is open but we cannot eat with them yet. What they have struggled with is low sodium or salt free meals. There blood pressure has improved.
There are no COVID restrictions in most ALs anymore, so why not go see for yourself just how horrible, awful and inedible the food really IS at your sister's place?
Also, look up the EMPLOYEE reviews of the facility on Indeed.com. I did that yesterday and lo & behold. 90% of the reviews were from employees who were thankful for the FREE MEALS they were given while at work in the ALF! Now, if the meals were THAT bad, who'd be grateful for them? Nobody.
The other trick I have up my sleeve is I offer to bring my mother either a home cooked meal or a restaurant meal every Sunday. 90% of the time she says No Thank You. Now, if the food was so god-awful, wouldn't you think she'd jump at the chance for a home cooked meal to be brought to her on Sundays? I also have snacks sent to her from Amazon so there's never a valid reason for why she can't possibly eat.
Good luck!
Anyway. If your sister isn't up to taking an image on her cellphone to share with you, perhaps you could ask a friendly aide?
Food in all sorts of institutions tends to be pretty dire. I'd be inclined to agree with your sister first, and then do what you can to reconcile her reasonable expectations with whatever quality standard the facility commits itself to.
Also, keep in mind that as people age, they lose their ability to taste much. The last flavor to go is sweetness, so that's one reason why seniors tend to like desserts a lot more than salads and savory foods.
You might check with the nutritionist at your sister's facility and ask if your sister is on a restricted diet, and ask her what could be done to brighten up the flavors a bit.
Oh yeah... don't get in the way or you'll get run over by a dozen walkers!
One thing that I found about the meals at my mother's nursing home was that despite appearing varied and tasty at first glance they were repetitive, so the little things that you might overlook the first few times can really start to become annoying when they are repeated over and over again. Its kind of like if you took all your meals at the local restaurant and there was never an option to have something off the menu, it can get tiring no matter how well prepared.
Good thing it was horrible, imagine how much more weight she would have gained!
Also too funny when they're resorting to boxed crap and microwave dinners at home, that suddenly they become connoisseurs (food, cleaning, laundry - no one can do it like they can!!!)
I think the only way of checking is to eat there yourself. Or to check the food safety ratings, if the municipality has them.
Think about the school lunches you ate as a kid. Were they primo food? No. Were they edible and nutritious? Probably.
Bring treats. Bring your parent's favorite food and have a picnic.